Emotions post birth

[purplebluered]

I'm guessing it's normal to feel overwhelmed and emotional after a birth...especially with learning how to live with a newborn baby, who has turned your life upside down, particularly if the labour was traumatic or difficult. I'm just wondering how long that takes to settle down, but I guess that's a bit like asking how long is a piece of string??? I had a difficult labour with an awful midwife (who I've made a formal complaint about) and ended up with failed forceps and emergency section. I'm still feeling emotional at times, not everytime I think about it, but I do get really jealous when I hear about people who managed to have a natural delivery. I feel almost cheated out of experiencing the natural delivery and of having more of a normality in life after the birth i.e. being able to move about more and less pain post being chopped in half. I also feel bad for DH as he took a month off work and he had to do EVERYTHING the first few days and still does a lot now and I feel like he's been cheated too...though he keeps telling me it's all ok and he doesn't mind. He's been absolutely wonderful, really amazing and incredibly supportive. I don't know what the point of this thread is? I guess to be reassured that what I'm feeling is normal and it will pass? I guess I need to come to terms with the fact I ended up with a section, don't get me wrong I'm so glad both me and Isaac are happy and healthy...and I guess the emotions will pass. I talked to the doctor and a midwife in depth while I was still in hospital and I know that the section was the ONLY option there was absolutely no other way around and nothing I could've done would have changed the outcome.

Please tell me I'm normal?! How long will it take to pass?? I feel like it should have passed by now...

Helen

 

[trixipaws]

im sorry i cannot help as i was more fortunate but i wanted to send u some hugs

hope someone else is able to give u some useful advice xx

 

[debecca]

I'll send you a text later today hun

It is like asking how long's a piece of string I think. My friend Abi who had Isaac the same day you had Isaac (!) also had a bit of a traumatic time and ended up having a C-section but it doesn't seem to have affected her in the same way (she had forceps too). Different people react to things in different ways. I had a natural delivery, yes, but I have found other things to beat myself up about; not breastfeeding being the main one, and have consequently ended up with the JOY that is PND.

Everyone struggles with a new baby; he's not even a month old yet. Give yourself time for your hormones to settle, take it easy (no matter how guilty you feel about your OH or how many things need doing) and don't beat yourself up. Be kind to yourself.

If you're still feeling this way in a few weeks you will be able to broach the subject with your doctor at your 6 week check and they will be better able to decide if this is a newbaby / hormonal baby blues thing or whether you need some counselling etc. One thing I would say is to be honest with everyone around you about how you're feeling. It makes a huge difference.

I will be thinking of you Helen

 

[GBLiz]

I dont think you should expect to feel ok just yet. a friend of mine had an emergency c section and she said to me exactly the same as you're saying , that she felt cheated out of the birth and first moments. she said she didnt really fully enjoy the baby until 3 or 4 months had passed so dont expect too much of yourself just yet

I had an 'easy' natural birth but even so it took me a long time to feel anything at all really...i was just doing what needed to be done, almost mechanically

a month is really not a long time ...dont feel bad about feeling bad!

 

[purplebluered]

Thanks guys, it's helpful to know that it's normal. I just want to be normal, whatever that is...I think that means just being able to get on with things and get on with a resemblence of a normal life with Isaac. I just hate the fact I can't drive yet...but thankfully I have friends coming everyday this week so I won't go mad with my thoughts all day!

Gymbabeliz, you described it well, I feel like I'm just doing what needs to be done almost mechanically it's really helpful to know that it's all normal all of this

 

[Steelgoddess]

God! I could of written this post myself.

I had to have an emergency c section cause the little guy got stuck and was only 8cm the labour was long.

I know EXACTLY what you mean by feeling a bit cheated, one of the things I would of liked would be to of had him and placed straight onto me but I didnt have that chance, although OH got to hold him first...

I don't know if u feel this way but i get tearful everyday about something or the other and I think Debecca said it well that no matter what you do find other things to beat yourself up about... I think its the high rush of hormones, and a major change in our lives...

Sorry not sure my post is helping, what im trying to say is your not alone...

 

[Mildly]

Wow Sharne, your birth sounds spookily similar to mine! I must go and check out your birth story (and write my own )

To be honest I found the first 2/3 days I was surprisingly unemotional, which surprised me as I really thought that I would cry the first time I held him in my arms. I suspect the drugs were making me feel quite removed from everything though. However since then, i have been having a little cry everyday ranging from OH saying sweet things which make me well up to crying from tiredness and exhaustion when I don't know how to soothe Oscar's cries. My sister told me she cried a bit everyday for two weeks after she gave birth and she had a c section too.

I think it is just the baby blues due to hormonal changes. I seem to feel more in control of my emotions everyday and cry a little less. Although my birth wasn't quite what I would have originally wanted I have come to terms with how it went and actually feel relieved that I had the birth I did for some strange reason. I think the pressure to push I was feeling during labour whilst stuck at 8cm and the intense pain of the contractions has actually made me scared at the thought of having a natural birth, which sounds so stupid! I would imagine that having had a stressful birth experience would make your emotional state even more rollercoastery after birth.

Helen, I hope things start getting easier for you Don't worry you aren't alone