PND

[Lacey's Mummy]

I've just off loaded alot of how I feel to kylie in the girlie room but thought I'd offload here too and if anyone else needs to offload then fill free!
For the past few days I've started to feel very low, been crying alot and in a very bad mood. I know I'm shattered so that's not helping but I feel like I'm starting to lose my bond with charley. I love him but I'm finding him very hard work. He always wants attention which is hard when I've got Lacey to look after and I find Lacey then wants attention cos she knows Charleys getting it! He always wants to be cuddled. If I put him down on his play gym, bouncer or even next to me on the sofa, he crys even if I'm playing/talking to him. At nap time he won't fall asleep unless he's in my arms then I'll put him down and he wakes up crying straight away. At bedtime, I've done the same bedtime routine since the day I had him yet he still crys when I put him down. I'm doing controlled crying which some nights work, he only needs resettling once but other nights I'm up and down those stairs from 7.30 until I give in and go to bed so I get no time to myself! I've been telling everyone how easy it is with 2 children and how well I'm coping when in fact im finding it very hard on my own! I'm scared people will judge me because I should be super mum but I'm more scared their take lace and charley away even though they won't!
Now I'm led here crying! Lol
So that's how I'm feeling? If anyone else needs to offload, feel free
x x

 

[MrsR]

Massive hugs x x don't think you have to be super mum darling! You really don't! You're a fantastic mum and no one will take your children away if you seek help for pnd x x massive massive hugs sweetie x

 

[keljordan]

See hun I kind of know what u mean. I bought Madison a bouncy chair and she hates it, she Hates it when I put her down and always cries, then as soon as I walk into her sight she shuts up straight away! Feel like a I can't get anything done!! I feel so sorry fory little boy who is 6 I feel like I've pushed him out, not on purose obviously but feel really bad x just look at it this way.... One day they we will be the ones clinging on to them lol xxxx chin up


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[Yodabo]

It's not easy is it?! Drake is hard work, it feels like he's constantly miserable. He'll go in his bouncer, play gym etc for 2 mins an he starts grumping..if I leave him too long he starts screaming! And I mean blue in the face screaming. He always seems to be feeding and I'm always washing, sterilising, making up bottles, my house is a tip, my other kids need my attention, my hubby is absolutely crap at helping out..slept downstairs last night with the baby as we had a row.

I tried getting Drake into an earlier bedtime routine but he's wide awake till 10 regardless! I just though, with him being him bed earlier at least I'll have time to do other things with the boys, lee and have a chance to clean up.

Things are getting better though, I just need to keep him constantly entertained or fed lol

I'm thankful that he's not clingy, dominic was absolutely awfull with clingyness, wouldn't go to No-one! Wouldn't sleep in his own bed either but then he'd be fine his bouncer etc for ages! Funny that!

I know Tim works away in the week but does he help out on the weekend? Is charley happy with other people holding him etc?

 

[MrsR]

For those with babies who don't like being put down; have you thought about a sling, like a moby wrap? That way the baby is close to you but you have your hands free for playing with your other children/doing chores etc

I don't want to rant here as my problems are so insignificant compared to what you guys are going through and are more about OH than Sebastian.

 

[Yodabo]

Yeah, DH is another issue lol

I have an old baby carrier but it's a crap one and too low down so starts crying. Thing is Drake isn't clingy, it's like he's bored, hungry or tired or in pain. He will go to sleep in his bouncer and his swing if he's tired see. He's only really happy when he's just had a feed. I'm thinking maybe the sma gold isn't satifying him long enough as he's feeding every 2 hours lately.

 

[Lacey's Mummy]

Tim helps out as much as he thinks is possible! I've told him I'm having a lie in this weekend!
I've got a carrier but I can't seem to work out how it goes when I'm on my own. I've just fed charley put him down and he's crying already so I've picked him up! I've got 30mins to get lace dressed and out the door for school! I just wish he'd be happy for 30mins so I can do something.
I'm scared of admitting PND cos I know OH's family will tell everyone! One of my friends had it and they were very quick to tell everyone that she was struggling!
Charleys fine with other people it's just when I put him down in Moses basket/cot/play gym/bouncer or sofa!!
I never had this problem with Lacey, she was always happy in her cot or bouncer so I got on with things!
Erghh I'm crying again!

 

[Yodabo]

Aw hun, I wish I could come over and give you a massive hug! I think we could concur the world if only we had a good nights sleep eh? I know what you mean about people assuming you 'can't cope' or your 'struggling' (I hate those terms!) We just have a high need baby that's all, there's absolutely nothin your doing wrong here sweet. How close by is your
mum? Im getting my folks to come round this morning (even if I have to pick them up lol) so my mum can watch Drake and my dad can help me clean the house (my dad is the cleaning one lol) I'm thinking maybe your mum can come over from time to time to let you do things, or have a nap. Don't be afraid to ask for a helping hand, I'd expect they'd be glad to help out!

 

[Lacey's Mummy]

Mums having him later while I get my hair done! I don't think I would've coped with Lacey if my mum wasn't around. She really helped! This is really stupid but I don't want to admit to my mum how I feel! She thinks I'm doing such a great job!
Is there any tips on how I can put charley down without him moaning? Saying that he's now moaning in my arms! Every night after a feed I put him down and prey to myself that he doesn't wake up! I shouldn't have to feel like that!

 

[Yodabo]

Sometimes I just have to leave Drake cry for a minute if I need to do something..It won't hurt him. Can only do it for a bit though as he has a fit. We also have a swing for drake that I've got upstairs (small enough to transport to downstairs too) but I pop him in there, put it on a certain speed and have a bath or put clothes away etc.. They are fab! Dom was a very very clingy baby and he loved his swing.

 

[Yodabo]

And by the way you ARE doing a great job. Your raising 2 kids pratically single handidly! It must be hard with Tim being away! Lee used to work 12 hour nights and I told him that I wanted him to change to days as with a new baby here I want him here to help so you are doing fantastic Hun, I admire you! Don't think I couldve done it!

 

[serenitylove]

im extremly lucky with daisy she easy but im borderin pnd iv gained so much weight back i can hardly move my backs gone so a 10min walk takes half hour it depressing me so badly i feel like i let myself down after all the work i put into losing weight then i put it all back on x tip from bf club lady if u cant afford a nice sling go to fabric shop buy some stretchy thick lycra and make one just wrap round yourself costs under a tenner to do

 

[Lacey's Mummy]

I can't stop eating either! I'm using food as comfort and keep thinking I'll stop eating next week but never do!
Charleys been crying all morning! He's only had 30mins sleep so must be tierd! I've put him in his basket with his dummy but everytime I leave the room he crys then he stops and gives me the biggest smile which sets me off crying again!

 

[emz1980]

im extremly lucky with daisy she easy but im borderin pnd iv gained so much weight back i can hardly move my backs gone so a 10min walk takes half hour it depressing me so badly i feel like i let myself down after all the work i put into losing weight then i put it all back on x tip from bf club lady if u cant afford a nice sling go to fabric shop buy some stretchy thick lycra and make one just wrap round yourself costs under a tenner to do

Thats the one thing reali getting me down. Before I had alfie I made the effort to lose weight and it took me ages but I finally got down to a size 16, now after 5 years Im back to square one again and HUGE!! xx

 

[tinkerbell86]

i kepy crying early on as i couldnt carry H and push his pram i've kindof resigned myself to the fact that i am on the mend and just have to take it slowly!!!
i'm the opposite i'm not eating!! i only had dinner last night!!
LM if you need help do go and see someone - but just dont tell OH's family!!! i find i dont tell my OH's family some stuff as it gets spread around!!!

 

[flexilexi394]

Tink is right, I wouldn't tell anyone, espec OHs family if I thought I had PND it's like an excuse to gloat. And tell others. Lol. I think if I were you I'd talk to my mum, some support is better than none, and I can see why you feel the way you do with Tim gone all week! Talk to your mummy. After all, I'm sure she had similar things with you x

 

[K&A]

chaz its scary how were the same except ive only got Jack.. I feed him then he'll fall asleep in my arms and then ill put him in bouncer or carry cot at night and he starts to cry.. I then take him downstairs and we sleep down there so OH can sleep as his at work. I then sit there crying because i just want to be in my own bed next to Andrew. In the day i have to manically rush to get washing, cleaning and tidying. Sometimes i don't shower until 4pm.. Then if i haven't got things done i have to get OH to hold him while i cook tea even though ive been on fast food for ages now. And then hang all clothes up to dry.. Clean places i haven't got to and before i know it the nights gone and it starts again. But all i want to do lately is shout at OH. Its my 98 yr old great grandads funeral on the 20th and i asked him to come with me as its the first funeral ill ever have been to but he said he can't get day off so that set me off and now im not going cause i don't want to leave Jack on his own with Andrews dad. Life just seems hard lately and i feel like i shouldn't feel that way as i knew for 9 months what was going to happen. I love Jack soooo much and wouldn't change anything. I think i just need help!!

thanks for reading. Sorry for the winge x

 

[K&A]

health visitor told me to push dummy on him but he hates it he heaves if i try to put it in his mouth. And i don't want to force anything on him x

 

[tinkerbell86]

Cant you take jack with you as im sure if you hold him everyone will understand why?

 

[K&A]

i was thinking about it but i would hate it if he started crying and id have to leave and go outside. And im also scated to see my mum and dad crying. I feel like a right wimp x