pnd.... need oh to listen and understand

[Aimee lou]

i think i have pnd. my little man is 8 weeks old and at first i thought it was just baby blues but on saturday i had a complete melt down, i could of happily walked out and not come back. ive tried to explain to my oh but i dont think he understands, all i want is 5 mins to myself does this sound selfish? now i cant stop crying over little stupid things and im constanttly worrying over everything. i took baby to my mums the other day and couldnt wait for her to take him off me for a few hours and i felt so guilty but just wanted some time to myself. i feel so tired and shitty even though i love my oh and my little boy so much, i cant understand why i cant be happy. feel like a failure because i should be so happy but am not. im a really good mum i know i am but just see the worst in everything. im worried that hv or gp will think am not coping x

 

[PeaPod]

Big hug, you are NOT a failure! How you are feeling is completely normal (but please speak to your GP!) These LO's come into our lives and as new mummies we do pretty much 'lose ourselves' to them in a way that the dads can never fully appreciate. I even resent my OH for having 20minute poo breaks (sorry if TMI) as i have to hold going to the loo and when i do go its rushed as LO starts crying! The worrying about everything can be normal too, but i started having panic attacks when LO was few months old and they really hit me hard and i became depressed. I spoke to my GP who was fab. She said that PND can occur as the hormones in our body are trying to settle down (we have 9months of them changing so it can take a while for it to settle down). I was expecting to get PND as have history of depression but it was still hard when it hit me and me and i did have abit of a break down (just before christmas and on our wedding anniversary, feel so guilty that my mood kinda ruined it all). I found letting my OH have our son on his own at weekends and in the evenings has helped me get some time back for me (even just to soak in the bath or do housework). Its also helped him realise just how intense it can be having this little person need you to entertain them and meet their every need.
Ive been on fluoxetine (prozac) for nearly 2 months now and it has really helped. Ive also accessed counselling and hope to start CBT soon for long term management. I still feel down, have harder days than some but i know that im just passing through this phase and i will get through it, as will you. If you ever want to chat please feel free to PM me and please talk to someone, they will not see it as you not coping! And seeing as LO is now asleep having fed, changed and puked up on me, i should be trying to get some sleep! Hugs again!XxX

 

[Emily0505]

Awww sweetie, if you are worried you have PND then you must get help. I was diagnosed just before christmas and put on Fluoxetine and I'm starting to feel much better. I had no energy to do anything, didn't want to get up in the mornings, crying over nothing and felt like a complete failure for not being able to push him out by myself and for not being able to bf.

My husband nas been very supportive and it was him who suggested I talk to someone about how I was feeling. Perhaps you just need to sit your oh down and explain how you are feeling or take him with you when you see gp. Just tell him exactly what you need from him to help you feel better- maybe he coukd take charge of lo for a couple of hours in the evening so you can have some time for yourself.

I was worried that my baby would be taken away and I've lost count of the number of times I've said 'but I'm a good mum' to my gp or health visitor. In the end i just told my gp i was worried people would think I'm a bad mum and not looking after him properly and she was very reassuring.

Whether or not you have PND is a decision that will be made by you and your gp but either way it sounds like you need more support, so don't be afraid to ask for help if you need it. It doesn't mean that you are a failure, a bad mum or are not coping. Its just that things the way they are now are not quite as you need them to be, so making the changes you need should help you to feel better.

XX

 

[babymother]

I'm sorry you are having a bad time. Please tell your HV. Don't bottle your feelings up.
I've had PND before and it is horrible, support is vital, either from family or support groups.

You are not a failure!!! As my consultant said when I saw her, don't suffer, there is more to being a mum than taking a pill.
If you had a broken leg you'd have the appropriate treatment. PND is no different.

You've done well by acknowledging your feeling, that's half the battle, believe me.

As for OH, they are scared when the word depression is mentioned. They sometimes can't compute a healthy, happy baby with depressed mother. But I'm sure once you get the support you need and possibly medication too, you will be able to tackle theses issues too.

Best wishes x

 

[Aimee lou]

thankyou ladies for all ur support. i really appreciate it xxx ive booked my appointment with my gp and also go hv next week. x ive recently started with chest pains and shortness off breath which i do think is connected to how im feeling as it is only when im worked up or out on shopping centre. ive been really off with people and when im out try to avoid people xxx

 

[PeaPod]

thankyou ladies for all ur support. i really appreciate it xxx ive booked my appointment with my gp and also go hv next week. x ive recently started with chest pains and shortness off breath which i do think is connected to how im feeling as it is only when im worked up or out on shopping centre. ive been really off with people and when im out try to avoid people xxx

Glad you've made an appointment, just think of it as the first step in getting back to feeling you again! Its also worth getting checked out re. Chest pain and SOB, it sounds like it is likely a panic attack but always best to get checked. Ive left many a shopping trip early due to them. Blooming nuisance but they can be treated. Let us know how you get on.XxX

 

[Aimee lou]

thankyou ladies for all ur support. i really appreciate it xxx ive booked my appointment with my gp and also go hv next week. x ive recently started with chest pains and shortness off breath which i do think is connected to how im feeling as it is only when im worked up or out on shopping centre. ive been really off with people and when im out try to avoid people xxx

Glad you've made an appointment, just think of it as the first step in getting back to feeling you again! Its also worth getting checked out re. Chest pain and SOB, it sounds like it is likely a panic attack but always best to get checked. Ive left many a shopping trip early due to them. Blooming nuisance but they can be treated. Let us know how you get on.XxX

I will let u no xxx thank you so much xxx

 

[babymother]

Well done on the appts

 

[Lolly85x]

Massive hugs! Hope speaking to your doctor will help.xxxx

 

[HiggsBosun]

I was diagnosed just before christmas.

 

[jillybear1587]

How you feeling now hun? I have baby blues, hv is going to assess me further for pnd but thinks im just very low as not got the support network i need xx

 

[kaz1983]

Glad you have made an appt there is no shame in asking for help.

My hv done her 16 week check tho i didny realise this was more mum than baby focused and she was asking me to fill in a pnd questionnaire she sed she wasny worried abou me at all but she did ask if i ever felt down an it was then i started crying an sed I didny like myself alot of the time but she sed that was normal and i was doin fine.

My friend did keep dropping into several conversations "u do know ul be the last to realise ur depressed" which I thot funny as I thot i was myself if not more tired than usual but looking back i reakon i did have a little bit of pnd an i should have went to gp xx

 

[Aimee lou]

Hi ladies x ive had a bad couple of weeks recently and its been a struggle. Im on anti ds but still feel down. My mum and.partner r brill.but there the only ones i can talk to. Hv is coming this friday xx

 

[babymother]

Oh Aimee, I'm so sorry you are feeling bad. Take all the help you can, talking therapies too.
Anti depressants can work wonders they can take a while before you feel the benefit of them. You've done so well seeking help early! It makes such a difference.
Take one day at a time xxx

 

[PeaPod]

Hi ladies x ive had a bad couple of weeks recently and its been a struggle. Im on anti ds but still feel down. My mum and.partner r brill.but there the only ones i can talk to. Hv is coming this friday xx

How did it go today with the HV? Glad to hear that your mum and partner have been fab and that you can talk to them. The anti ds can take a while to kick in so stick with it, they should make a difference. I always forget to check this section but if you ever want to talk please feel free to message me (happy to give mobile numb if you like) Onwards and upwards!XxX

 

[Sue Clare]

Anti d's can take between 4-6 weeks to make you
feel better, stick with them hun x