PND how do you know?

[loz]

I'm not sure if I have PND in a mild form or whether I'm just having a bad phase? I think I had a panic attack last night - Emms wouldnt go to sleep and I just broke down and just cried and rocked and shouted and screamed. My breathing went rapid and strained. Luckily OH helped out and calmed me down but I was in a right state. I'm finding myself more and more tearful lately and just so stressed with everything to do with Emma.

She is so lively and so demanding that I just get no rest, I just dread her crying and the evenings and nights are horrible a lot of the time. I thought we'd made a bit of a break through with the nights but the last week has been awful. The worst being last night when I eventually got to sleep at 5.30am.

Has anyone got any advice about how to cope? I was thinking of looking up whether a nanny could come and help me for a week or something just to get me through. I feel like such a sh*te mother and wife and dont know how much longer I can go on like this before I have a breakdown.

I love her so much but feel like I am letting her down badly but I just dont know what to do. I dont really like my HV much or I think I would have phoned her earlier. The sleep clinic told me to do cc which I have tried but last night Emms just cried for over an hour and got louder and louder!

Help!!

 

[nori]

so sorry to hear your are down about things. You are certainly not a bad mother and im sure you are doing a great job. i've only experienced 4 weeks of being a mum and have realised what an incredibly hard job it is. I've had moments of crying and had to take a 5 minute breather to calm down.

The lack of sleep as probably taken its toll. sleep deprivation can really get you down. I cant give you any advice on PND but really hope you feel better soon. Make sure you get some help when you need it.

Claire x

 

[Sherlock]

Sleep deprivation alone can cause you to feel depressed so I'd not be thinking PND straight away. Chances are if you can get some sleep you'll feel a lot better.

I'd ask to see another HV and discuss things with her.

I have some other suggestions but baby on my lap isn't going to let my type much more atm. Will come back later though

 

[debecca]

Loz, first of all

Secondly, Christmas is coming up soon so if sleep deprivation is the issue, hopefully you will be able to give Emms to someone else and dsiappear off to get an afternoon nap here and there? It really helped me when I was sleep deprived.

However, for me, PND was a different thing to the sleep deprivation. I found myself crying all the time, even when I was doing "easy" things like feeding her or changing her. I found myself obsessing about her routine at all times (even though we didn't really have one?!?!?!) and whether we should be doing this, or trying that. I'd be on this forum for hours looking at what other people did and then wonder why everyone else seemed to find it so obvious and easy and I was such a crap mum.

I blamed myself for everything.

The irony of it was that when I COULD sleep I couldn't. I just lay there wound up full of anxiety unable to sleep. Not about Connie's breathing etc (in fact in some weird way I knew I'd feel relief if she died, horrible to say that and I don't think many people have PND as extreme as that) but about the stuff TO DO WITH Connie, like the feeding and the sleeping and whether I was doing everything right.

Have you tried the Edinburgh questionnaire for PND? How do you score?

Above all be honest with those around you; HV, doctor, husband. Whether you have PND or not you will feel SO much better just for talking.

Good luck with it all hun

By the way your daughter is absolutely BEAUTIFUL!

 

[LisaJ1986]

I've felt like you very recently! Poor Angel was shouted at, dumped on OH. I was a wreck.
But i also have a lot on my plate. I've chatted to my HV at Angel's 8 month check. She retested me on the PND questionnaire and my result came back to say i had it, but she refused to treat me as it could just be a mix of my housing problems, lack of sleep etc. She's going to call me in a month to chat again.
Definately worth talking to HV about. But also when Emma's playing up and you're not sleeping it can trigger mixed feelings.

I've had awful nights. The screams and paddies all coz i'm putting her in the cot! I used to get so frustrated, needing OH to sort her out and calm me down as i've just not had the ability. I have seriously been a mess. Going on about how she's better off with someone else. Someone who can handle her and take care of her better than me.
But that's just not the case. You just need a break. What i did for a few nights is leave her downstairs with OH while i went to get ready for bed, then i'd have half hour to an hour upstairs on my own to rest.

 

[loz]

Thanks, I know I'm not the only one. I just feel terrible as I think I'm going to spoil Christmas for my OH. I am tearful a lot and obsessive about Emms's routine. I look at other people who seem so together with their babies. I'm not normally like this, I'm usually a really happy person and laid back. I have an ear infection and bad cold that I've had over a week now and I just feel miserable. I havent been able to go out and do any shopping. Tomorrow we are going over my mum's in the afternoon so I might get a bit of a break. OH finds dealing with Emms hard and isnt v hands on so most stuff gets left to me to do which I think is part of the problem.

 

[loz]

Loz, first of all

Secondly, Christmas is coming up soon so if sleep deprivation is the issue, hopefully you will be able to give Emms to someone else and dsiappear off to get an afternoon nap here and there? It really helped me when I was sleep deprived.

However, for me, PND was a different thing to the sleep deprivation. I found myself crying all the time, even when I was doing "easy" things like feeding her or changing her. I found myself obsessing about her routine at all times (even though we didn't really have one?!?!?!) and whether we should be doing this, or trying that. I'd be on this forum for hours looking at what other people did and then wonder why everyone else seemed to find it so obvious and easy and I was such a crap mum.

I blamed myself for everything.

The irony of it was that when I COULD sleep I couldn't. I just lay there wound up full of anxiety unable to sleep. Not about Connie's breathing etc (in fact in some weird way I knew I'd feel relief if she died, horrible to say that and I don't think many people have PND as extreme as that) but about the stuff TO DO WITH Connie, like the feeding and the sleeping and whether I was doing everything right.

Have you tried the Edinburgh questionnaire for PND? How do you score?

Above all be honest with those around you; HV, doctor, husband. Whether you have PND or not you will feel SO much better just for talking.

Good luck with it all hun

By the way your daughter is absolutely BEAUTIFUL!

I havent tried the questionnaire lately I think the HV did it about 2 weeks after Emms was born!
Emms is beautiful - I love her so much and feel terrible that I am not more capable

 

[Full of hope!]

The irony of it was that when I COULD sleep I couldn't. I just lay there wound up full of anxiety unable to sleep.

This is how I was with my PND I was living on an hour a night for about 6 weeks I was also having really bad anxiety attacks and felt like I couldn't cope with life not just the baby.

Please talk to someone about how you are feeling I felt like such a bad mam too and couldn't understand why I was feeling like I did when I had a gorgeous baby boy, loving hubby and family.... I thought to be quiet honest I was going mad!

Once I spoke to my GP and HV, I was diagnosed with PND and started on treatment. My HV was brilliant and explained everything about PND and it help me accept that I was ill.

Hope you feel better soon

 

[loz]

Feeling a bit better as the last few nights have been easier. I dont feel so ill also which helps! Thanks for the support, will have to see how things go this coming week.