PND... Hope you dont mind me posting this in here...

[LaurenMM]

But I'm finally getting help tomorrow... some of you may remember me posting a while ago about PND. I'll be completely honest I know this is absolutely terrible of me but I was too scared to go to the doctors because I thought they might think I'm unfit to be a mother but I finally plucked up the courage to speak to OH today and I'm going to the docs tomorrow morning. I really hate going on about this because I know I'm no different from other mums I'm absolutely exhausted from trying to be a supermum. I was induced on the Wednesday, had Angel on Thursday, out of hospital on the Saturday and was shopping in Asda on the Sunday. I don't think I've had one day of staying in the house and doing nothing. I've forced myself at 7am everyday, got myself ready, tidied the house everyday, cooked dinner nearly every night and I've given myself no break and no time to relax at all. Now it's resulted in me being on a short fuse and crying over the slightest thing. Its affecting my health too, just feel constantly ill and achy its horrible Today I put Angel off to her nap and for the first time ever I attempted to nap while she did, I was asleep for 5 mins when she woke up because of the teeth and I was so tired I've just bene crying all afternoon. Just havent been right since shes been born xx

 

[AugustMum]

once you've spoken to someone you'll feel so much better. Make sure they get someone to talk to you and maybe come out to your house. It's such a relief to have someone come round and just install in you that you are doing an amazing job and even if things don't get done one day it's doesn't matter.

Hope all goes well tomorrow and the weight can finally be lifted x

 

[tinks77]

You are doing the right thing and that makes you a BRILLIANT mum! It will get better and I'm glad you've spoken to your OH cause now it won't feel so hard. I wouldn't be surprised if he hasn't been worried about you, you can't do it all.

I try and get out everyday but I plan a pj day if I know I've got a busy week and we'll get a takeaway. I've never been good a napping when baby does but I made the effort to go to bed when she did a couple of times a week

 

[Hayley1608]

Glad you decided to speak to somebody. There is no way anybody could call you an un fit mother... I know i don't know you personally but from all of the previous posts i've read of yours you absolutely dote on your little girl and sound like a fabulous mother.

x

 

[lewisca]

Glad u have to the plunge Hun. U will feel so much better soon. U r an amazing mum don't forget that ! I agree plan a pj and get a take away ! U don't need to b supermum just a happy one !! We r all here for I Hun so rant and rave away at us it certainly helps me !! Big hugs xxx

 

[Jayceesmumma]

So glad you've decided to get help babe noone will think ur an unfit mother you've recognized you have a problem and your doing all you can to fix it.. Making you a fantastic mum!!
Please try and rest as much as u can sod the housework for a week!

 

[Hunnie]

Good on you! I really think I'm suffering from it a bit and have done all the way through pregnancy thinking that I made the wrong decision and that I've ruined my life because now its just constant graft all the time and I quite miss my old laziness and lifestyle. Of course it's all worth it when she's smiling and just looking at her makes me realise but I'm constantly being short with OH and it's having a strain on our relationship. Half the times I snap at him I can't even think what the real reason was?! Im quite a lot like you actually, not had a decent break after Sophie's been born. Had c section on the Friday and by the Monday I was out doing the shopping and cleaning the house and mucking the horse out (at snails pace I have to add but really I should have been resting). I haven't summed up the courage to go to the doctors about it yet though. I despise the place and still haven't been to sort my back out even! Xxxx

 

[mum2b410]

Good for u Lauren! U r def doing the right thing.....it can only get better from here! Hope it goes well at the Dr's.......u will feel better again hun (I've suffered with depression before myself ), just take it a step at a time xx

 

[LaurenMM]

Thanks so much for your support once again girls. I'm tired, frustrated, angry with myself... but now I'm hopeful too. I have to sort this out for me and OH and most important Angel; she deserves it. Hunnie; I've been the same with OH too and its really tested our relationship but he was upset this afternoon as he had noticed a change in me but didnt realise how bad it was. This is a massive shock to my system because I usually cope with things very well and I never let myself get down. But this has just gotten too much for me now. I'm 22 and I feel like 80!! I've always been a very tidy person and I actually cant remember ever having a proper pj day but what I havent realised is that I physically cannot continue being a completel neat freak and cleaning, cooking, tidying all this while looking after a baby. I thought I could do it all and saw myself as weak and a failure if I couldnt but now its resulted in me exhausted, on a short fuse and ill. Its gone too far and I wish I'd done something sooner but I'm putting it right as of tomorrow. xx.

 

[Jayceesmumma]

Good luck babe you'll feel so much better soon.. There's no harm in letting the house go for a week to get some rest

 

[LaurenMM]

Thanks hun, I guess I just never adopted the 'the housework can wait' attitude, only thinking I can do everything attitude and I cant will let u know how I get on tomorrow. I really dont like the thought of being on meds but if thats what will help I have to do it. x.

 

[Jayceesmumma]

Hope it goes well.. Have you considered councilling first?? Or change ur way of thinking so u can relax a bit? Meds can make u worse before ur better so be sure to get as much support as u can.. It's not like that in all cases but it can happen xx be sure to ask all the questions u can about the meds first xx

 

[lewisca]

I kind of did both routes had a great cpn that i vented too but I did have meds but not for all that long. So glad your getting help now rather then waiting xxx

 

[littlemiss83]

.

 

[AugustMum]

I refused meds but they were offered to me. I found speaking to my hv (who was also a trained counsellor) once every 2 weeks for a few months really helped me get on my feet again. Do what ever you believe is right for you.

 

[Lilelephant]

Glab u are getting help Hun! Hope ur gp is good

 

[l_maclean]

I hope the doctor offers you counselling rather than pills, please seriously consider it before you start taking anything, some ppl find it very difficult to come off them again, my friend came off them after 3 years & felt suicidal, just be careful.

Please be careful offering advice like this. This is why sooo many people do not get the medication they require. Depression is a chemical imbalance, and therefore usually requires chemicals to help solve this problem.

Yes counciling is helpful as well. And as with all drugs some people (usually very few) suffer unfortunate side effects - but sharing horror stories like this just adds to the taboo of being on anti depressants!

 

[littlemiss83]

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[l_maclean]

I hope the doctor offers you counselling rather than pills, please seriously consider it before you start taking anything, some ppl find it very difficult to come off them again, my friend came off them after 3 years & felt suicidal, just be careful.

Please be careful offering advice like this. This is why sooo many people do not get the medication they require. Depression is a chemical imbalance, and therefore usually requires chemicals to help solve this problem.

Yes counciling is helpful as well. And as with all drugs some people (usually very few) suffer unfortunate side effects - but sharing horror stories like this just adds to the taboo of being on anti depressants!

Absolutely disagree. Would like to see proof.

I think people (in general) are too quick to use anti-depressants, not everyone obviously but we have a culture of it. I agree it works with some people though.

Having suicidal thoughts is something that can happen when you come off them, it isn't a horror story, its the truth & i'm sure its in the "side effects". All I meant was just make absolute sure before taking anything that your comfortable with it & know the implications.

I'm almost positive that tablets wont be advised on a doctors first visit anyway, its normally absolute last resort. So I cant imagine it being an issue just now anyway.

Various studies over the last 30 plus years have shown that those with depression have lower levels of chemicals such as serotonin, norepinephrine, and dopamine.

One of the major reasons that suicidal thoughts can occur when coming off antidpressants is because people do not stop them properly, research has shown that that they should be slowed gradually - also if people stop them while still "depressed" they are likely to have symptoms of depression - which can include suicidal thoughts.

As someone who has suffered from depression, and been a major carer for others with depression, i can assure you that tablets can often be the only thing that works, and as they take a while to become effective, should not be used as an "absoltute last resort", but incombination with other treatments.

REading the information with any drug is important, but to tell someone not consider not using antidepressants because of the risk of suicidal thoughts, is akin to telling someone not to take aspirin because it carries a risk of gastric bleeding. Yes - these side effects happen, but for the vast majority of people the benefits far out way the risk of them.

And its attitudes like this - that antidepressants should only be an "absolute last resort" that make mental illness a taboo subject, depsite the fact that 1 in 3 people will suffer from it.

 

[Sarah13]

Hope it goes ok at the doctors today, just recognising your symptoms and admitting it is the first step to feeling better. Well done, your looking after Angel fantastically and you had such a traumatic birth you definitely need time to get your head round that, maybe this super mum stuff was your way to ignore it. I think we live in society that forces us to try and do it all, I wouldn't call it super mums though. Life is about enjoying our children and this first year passes far to quickly to worry about a bit of dust. Hopefully you will be able to relax and enjoy being a mum now, I never could understand why new mums felt the need to go shopping on the way back from giving birth or even the next day, I sent my oh on his own the first few times, maybe we should got more info while being pregnant about resting etc. perhaps there was something good about the old days of staying in bed for 10 days after giving birth! I've had quite a few lazy days (maybe more than my share!) but I've loved sitting cuddling my baby and didn't want to waste time doing boring chores when I could be enjoying him instead. Im probably the opposite of you and feel guilty doing chores instead of cuddling or playing with Kynon. When you go out is it to mum and baby things? I find going to things like baby sensory, massage or swimming is great because we get both time out of the house and fun time together, I don't feel so guilty sitting him go a chair while I do the washing up then.
Well let us know how you get on, your not alone anyway us girls on here are here for you x
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