PND... Hope you dont mind me posting this in here...

[netty]

An arguement in a ladies pnd thread......disgusting? Are we children or what?

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[Sleepy sue]

Hope your appointment went well Lauren and you feel a little better now you have spoken to someone.
I think you've been really brave both facing up to how you are feeling and also posting on here, tbh I'm terrified of PND, and feel that I may get this too (I'm trying not to make it a self fulfilling prophecy) mainly due to me losing my mom 12 months ago.

I really hope the doctor helps you if this is through medication, counselling or a combination of both. It sounds like you've got a supportive OH and a great LO and I hope I can do as well as you xx


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[Rachaellius]

Hope all went well Lauren x

 

[LaurenMM]

Thanks so much for your support everyone. I'm sorry this has caused conflict, it seems everyone has different opinions based on their individual experiences. Unfortunately, my surgery rang and my doctor had called in sick yesterday so I'm booked for Monday. I could've seen someone else but tbh this particular doc is the only one I trust at this surgery so I want to wait to see her.

I am pretty reluctant to take meds tbh and I would maybe like to try counselling first but I'm not ruling anything out until I've seen the doc and see what she says. I've no experience in this myself but an ex of mine was on anti depressants and we went on holiday and he forgot them so he had no choice but to come off them straight away and it his reaction to just stopping them wasn't pretty and I'm scared of them tbh so I just wanna see what my options are and ask a lot of questions!

I think the reason its all caught up with me is that during the day while she's awake I play with her and cherish the time I have with her while she's not sleeping and while she still let me cuddle and kiss her 24/7 lol but when shes sleeping I'm like on speed going round and doing everything and worst of all after I've put her to bed (between 7-8) I literally don't stop till I go to sleep. I think arguing with OH has put a strain on everything too. After I came clean and said something is wrong he promised to help more and be there for me etc. Well A woke at 1am tonight, he fed her and I dozed off for 10 mins. He'd already put her to bed by the time I woke up and she awoke again (her teeth playing up I think) and he hadn't bothered to change her nappy and she leaked through onto her gro the poor thing. OH has a tiny little cold and I kept telling him to blow his nose because it was making him snore and keeping me and Angel awake and he didnt. So I took her downstairs at like 2am and been awake ever since so I'm absolutely shattered. When I came downstairs I found he hadnt bothered to shut any curtains so our laptop, comp and 50" all in view of everyone. And she's been a bit poorly this morning, vomited a couple of times and she did a poo; there was so much of it it leaked all out her nappy so I took her for a bath. So I was covered in baby sick, poo and wee and this was his idea of helping me through everything. Just feel so let down.

I hope you ladies who have responded to me with difficulties of your own are all ok too, I'm glad I'm able to relate and vice versa. I really appreciate everyones support.

 

[lewisca]

Oh Hun glad u have a dr u feel comfortable with that can make all the difference !! Sorry oh still hasn't pulled his socks up. Is he off today ? Maybe give u an hr to have a soak in the bath or get some sleep ?
Hope Angel is feeling better soon too. Know it's hard but try to relax bout things try distracting yourself of u feel things getting on top of u. Hope all goes well on Monday Hun remember we r always here for u xxx

 

[LaurenMM]

Yeah she's a brill doc and if I had any problems during the pregnancy I saw her because I trusted her more than MW so its worth waiting till Monday. He is off yeah, he took her so I could have a shower and as I was typing the last post just now he just plonked Angel on me argh! I'm just gonna go to sleep when she does tonight, about 7/8 ish! I'm one of these strange people who cannot sleep during the day and once I'm up, I'm up! He was going to a poker game tonight as it's one of his friends leaving dos. He says he's not going anymore but I want him to tbh, just want the space x thanks so much again for your post hun means a lot x

 

[lewisca]

U r more rhan welcome hun always here. I can't sleep in the day either !! Do think men get in the way sometimes and my oh usually disrupts my routine !! Don't blame u for wanting to send him out that way u won't feel guilty bout going to bed when Angel does . Xxx

 

[LaurenMM]

Feeling a bit better after a shower and I really dont wanna argue with him

Btw just noticed your from Cov, thats not far from my hometown (Redditch nr Brum ) x

 

[LaurenMM]

Hope it goes ok at the doctors today, just recognising your symptoms and admitting it is the first step to feeling better. Well done, your looking after Angel fantastically and you had such a traumatic birth you definitely need time to get your head round that, maybe this super mum stuff was your way to ignore it. I think we live in society that forces us to try and do it all, I wouldn't call it super mums though. Life is about enjoying our children and this first year passes far to quickly to worry about a bit of dust. Hopefully you will be able to relax and enjoy being a mum now, I never could understand why new mums felt the need to go shopping on the way back from giving birth or even the next day, I sent my oh on his own the first few times, maybe we should got more info while being pregnant about resting etc. perhaps there was something good about the old days of staying in bed for 10 days after giving birth! I've had quite a few lazy days (maybe more than my share!) but I've loved sitting cuddling my baby and didn't want to waste time doing boring chores when I could be enjoying him instead. Im probably the opposite of you and feel guilty doing chores instead of cuddling or playing with Kynon. When you go out is it to mum and baby things? I find going to things like baby sensory, massage or swimming is great because we get both time out of the house and fun time together, I don't feel so guilty sitting him go a chair while I do the washing up then.
Well let us know how you get on, your not alone anyway us girls on here are here for you x
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Yeah hun I take her to this group called bumps + babes and its for pregnant women and those with babies under 1 and they have toys and playmats just for babies and its really good. I also take her for walks everyday and chatter away to her even though she's sleeping most of the time. Unfortunately, theres not much else to do around here for babies + mums. There was a massage class close by which my friend and I were going to go to and we found out its an area not safe for us to go so thats out of the question I plan on taking her swimming as soon as she's had all her jabs I rarely/never do housework while she's awake as like you I dont wanna waste this time but thats where I go wrong, I do while she's napping or gone to bed for the night when I should just leave it altogther I definitely agree with what you said about there being too much pressure for women to do everything and I have been influenced by this myself I'm ashamed to admit xx.

 

[lewisca]

U managed to escape then !! Lol it's not too bad but I would love to raise the kids out of a city ! Am I right in thinking your coming back this way soon for a visit ? Xx

 

[babyA]

Glad u have a doctor u feel comfortable with it helps to have that!
just remember we are all here to support u too!
Don't know if this will help but thought I'd let u know what's happened with me so far suffering with Pnd so u know although u may not be feeling same as me u r not alone battling it!
since new year I have been low having irrational thoughts and anxiety of something being wrong with my latest addition to the family, prob linked to her being unwel and in hospital when she was 4 weeks old and overwhelming feeling of being a ba mother! All which I can see is irrational but when kids are asleep these feelings become overwhelming. Like u I try to be supermum and don't stop, keeping house clean tidy ect. after three weeks my dad noticed it and suggested I talk to health visitor which I did where I then got diagnosed with Pnd! I was adamant i didn't want tablets due to horror stories. I felt bit better after talking to oh and explaining everything on how I was feeling. Then I had two bad days in tears ect. phone the hv who suggested it was time to see gp!
Gp apple with how I was feeling refered me to counciling and explained that tablets would help me feel better quicker.
Explained my worries bout going on tablets and he explained that because I don't suffer with depression normally she has no worries that I would be able to wean off them properly and be ok on them.
She prescribed me one which we agreed I wouldnt take till I stopped breast feeding (personal opinion and choice) that I would do counciling and if still felt bad when I had stopped breast feeding I would start them. Since seeing doctor I have felt better and am having more good days than bad!
Having support from oh, friends and family helps!
Oh talks to me everyday bout how I'm feeling and we discuss it together. Getting out even just for a walk also helps.
Just remember ur not alone, it's not ur fault as 1 in 8 women suffer with it !

Hope u start feeling better soon!

 

[LaurenMM]

U managed to escape then !! Lol it's not too bad but I would love to raise the kids out of a city ! Am I right in thinking your coming back this way soon for a visit ? Xx

Yeah I'm not too sure when though, probably end of march x

 

[Sarah13]

Hope it goes ok at the doctors today, just recognising your symptoms and admitting it is the first step to feeling better. Well done, your looking after Angel fantastically and you had such a traumatic birth you definitely need time to get your head round that, maybe this super mum stuff was your way to ignore it. I think we live in society that forces us to try and do it all, I wouldn't call it super mums though. Life is about enjoying our children and this first year passes far to quickly to worry about a bit of dust. Hopefully you will be able to relax and enjoy being a mum now, I never could understand why new mums felt the need to go shopping on the way back from giving birth or even the next day, I sent my oh on his own the first few times, maybe we should got more info while being pregnant about resting etc. perhaps there was something good about the old days of staying in bed for 10 days after giving birth! I've had quite a few lazy days (maybe more than my share!) but I've loved sitting cuddling my baby and didn't want to waste time doing boring chores when I could be enjoying him instead. Im probably the opposite of you and feel guilty doing chores instead of cuddling or playing with Kynon. When you go out is it to mum and baby things? I find going to things like baby sensory, massage or swimming is great because we get both time out of the house and fun time together, I don't feel so guilty sitting him go a chair while I do the washing up then.
Well let us know how you get on, your not alone anyway us girls on here are here for you x
Sent from my GT-I9100 using Tapatalk

Yeah hun I take her to this group called bumps + babes and its for pregnant women and those with babies under 1 and they have toys and playmats just for babies and its really good. I also take her for walks everyday and chatter away to her even though she's sleeping most of the time. Unfortunately, theres not much else to do around here for babies + mums. There was a massage class close by which my friend and I were going to go to and we found out its an area not safe for us to go so thats out of the question I plan on taking her swimming as soon as she's had all her jabs I rarely/never do housework while she's awake as like you I dont wanna waste this time but thats where I go wrong, I do while she's napping or gone to bed for the night when I should just leave it altogther I definitely agree with what you said about there being too much pressure for women to do everything and I have been influenced by this myself I'm ashamed to admit xx.

Glad you getting to see your doctor Monday, I'm sure she will help you. Going to bed early tonight will definitely help, I can't nap in the day either but I have quite often gone to bed at the same time as Kynon at 9ish but I'm shattered as he still feeds 2 hourly. Sometimes in the day when I have to do some chore like washing I talk to Kynon and show him the clothes so he's still interacting with me, they don't know it's boring stuff yet! Hope your OH helps out a bit more now to x

 

[LaurenMM]

Glad u have a doctor u feel comfortable with it helps to have that!
just remember we are all here to support u too!
Don't know if this will help but thought I'd let u know what's happened with me so far suffering with Pnd so u know although u may not be feeling same as me u r not alone battling it!
since new year I have been low having irrational thoughts and anxiety of something being wrong with my latest addition to the family, prob linked to her being unwel and in hospital when she was 4 weeks old and overwhelming feeling of being a ba mother! All which I can see is irrational but when kids are asleep these feelings become overwhelming. Like u I try to be supermum and don't stop, keeping house clean tidy ect. after three weeks my dad noticed it and suggested I talk to health visitor which I did where I then got diagnosed with Pnd! I was adamant i didn't want tablets due to horror stories. I felt bit better after talking to oh and explaining everything on how I was feeling. Then I had two bad days in tears ect. phone the hv who suggested it was time to see gp!
Gp apple with how I was feeling refered me to counciling and explained that tablets would help me feel better quicker.
Explained my worries bout going on tablets and he explained that because I don't suffer with depression normally she has no worries that I would be able to wean off them properly and be ok on them.
She prescribed me one which we agreed I wouldnt take till I stopped breast feeding (personal opinion and choice) that I would do counciling and if still felt bad when I had stopped breast feeding I would start them. Since seeing doctor I have felt better and am having more good days than bad!
Having support from oh, friends and family helps!
Oh talks to me everyday bout how I'm feeling and we discuss it together. Getting out even just for a walk also helps.
Just remember ur not alone, it's not ur fault as 1 in 8 women suffer with it !

Hope u start feeling better soon!

Thanks so much for sharing your story hun, really appreciate it and its nice being able to relate I feel the same as what you do/did, what with the anxiety and irrational thoughts - I hate it, it frightens me and I wish I could switch my brain off although Angel was never sick or in hospital - I'm sorry to hear your LO was and I hope she is ok now!

I think what has made it worse is that not one person had noticed! My OH did but only in the last few days and he never mentioned it sooner. I'm not looking for attention but I do feel let down that my personality has almost completely changed and I'm acting insane and just not myself and literally no one has said a word or even noticed. I think thats why I havent acknowledged this or done something about it sooner. Im not trying to lay the blame because its down to me at the end of the day but I can't help feeling hurt by it

I'm not ruling medication out and hopefully I'll be the same in terms of being able to wean without any problems (if I do go down the meds route) as I've never been on any meds before. Thanks again hun xx.

 

[AugustMum]

Not one person noticed with me either but then I kept it all very hidden. I didn't bond at all with my lo until she was at least 10 months old. I resented her for a long time for changing everything and putting me through all the stress of the birth. I've still only told a very select number of people.

Mental health problems seem to be too commonly swept under the carpet and no one likes to admit it. I think it's brilliant that you're seeing someone. You will feel such a sense of relief. I think my OH had a bit of pnd as well but never spoke to anyone about it but because I was diagnosed it meant we discussed it more together and again, he's so different now than before. He struggled to bond much as well. It's different for everyone and some people find that they can't leave their Los alone and others worry. It's such a huge difference from person to person. Good luck for Monday and I hope you can finally start to sort everything out and start to relax and move on from it. X

 

[Jayceesmumma]

I suffer from hormonal depression.. I'm happy on my period and pregnant.. Other times I'm not I've learnt to control it over the years myself, not 100% but better than I used to. I was offered pills immediately but didn't take them coz of my mums experiences on them. I've told my OH as I felt he needed to know from day one.. I'm hard to cope with lol!! He doesn't understand it and I don't blame him.. We are here for u 100% babe it's very hard I struggle every day but go on auto pilot..
I'm glad u have a dr u can trust babe let us know how u get on!xxx

 

[babyA]

I know what u mean about switching ur brain off sometimes wish I could do that too. I the dame as u was upset oh didn't notice and my dad did! Was only talking to dad over phone he hadn't seen in weeks as lives bournmouth. It's horrible feeling like a different person and until I spoke to oh about it he got the brunt of how I was feeling but couldn't stop myself being nasty to him which then led to guilt! honestly if u wanna chat im here it will get better!! X

 

[babyA]

Also thanks for asking bout Lo she is fine has been since we left hospital thank god! out patient appointment Monday so hopefully find out why she got so ill! think closure on it may help me.

 

[LaurenMM]

Obviously I probably should've said something but it upset me all the same. I hardly see my mum/dad but my mum claims to know me best yet she hasnt noticed anything my oh is the same; getting the brunt of my anger and frustration and I hate it I feel so guilty because he doesnt deserve that. He's been a star today too bless, I dozed off on the sofa and he took Angel out for a walk and fed her and he's now taking her to Tesco and banned me from coming Thanks again for sharing your stories girls and backing me through this, it really does mean a lot to me xx

 

[LaurenMM]

Also thanks for asking bout Lo she is fine has been since we left hospital thank god! out patient appointment Monday so hopefully find out why she got so ill! think closure on it may help me.

Oh good I'm really glad she's ok now and hopefully you'll feel better once you get some answers!! xx.