Partner Pregnant and 300 miles away

[Tommybenn182]

Hi all,

Last weekend, me and my partner have discovered that she is about 12 weeks pregnant.

She lives in Yorkshire, I live in London. She is here with me until Sunday and I wanted a scan asap, so I've paid for one this Saturday.

My family know she is pregnant and are very happy, however, my partner's family will disapprove.

She studies in Yorkshire and exams are near the due date.

Does anyone have any advise if she registers her pregnancy in Yorkshire? I work full time. How am I supposed to get up there for appointments and to look after her and the baby? Can she have her pregnancy/appointments in London if she is down at the time? Why is the NHS so complicated 😅.

I look forward to hearing from you ☺️

T

 

[Abi88]

I don't have much advice with the NHS but I assume by studies she is at college or uni? When she is ready to tell the staff there they can be really helpful and do plenty to accommodate her. A couple of girls I went to uni with got pregnant in their last year. One was due a few months before the exams so they let her take a year out and pick up again when she was ready. The other was fairly near her due date and could sit her exams in a spare room with an examiner to herself so she could stop the test as needed to go to loo. Good luck, the fact you care so much means you'll be a great dad!

 

[HaylzDz]

I would say the best place to arrange the appointments is where she spends the most time. Although after the first scan they give you your notes to keep hold of so whenever she is visiting you she should bring them with her in case she needs a last minute appointment. To be honest, the only appointments you will really want to go to are the two scans at 12 and 20 weeks. My 20 week was booked on the day of the 12 week so if that’s the case it might give you enough time to arrange a couple of days off to head up. The rest of the apppintments are obviously important but pretty mundane, peeing in cups, blood pressure etc. Towards the due date it might be worth going to a couple or arranging time to attend the antenatal classes but for the majority of the pregnancy I wouldn’t worry too much. I’m sure you’ll be on the phone all the time and seeing each other at the weekends so she’ll be able to fill you in on anything you’ve missed. Plus you always have the option of private scams along the way if you want good luck with it all x

 

[Vintageling]

She is best off doing as much of her appointments where she spends the most time because then she knows the team more that is likely going to be there when she goes into labour and it saves the stress for her of how she is going to get to London for appointments specially of she ends up needing to go once a week near the end if her pregnancy

 

[BurntToast]

Hello. I work for the corporate side of the NHS and can give you a bit of insight to why the NHS works the way it does. Firstly, in answer you your question - your girlfriend will have the legal right of patient choice so can choose where she has her pre-natal appointments. However, due to how money filters down from the government, this can only be in one area at a time.

Every area in England has a clinical commissioning group (CCG) which is given money by the government to commission services based on the needs of the population in said area. This includes GP surgery’s and an areas population is based on who is registered with GPS in the area. So for example, if you live in London but are registered with a GP in Yorkshire, you will be considered a Yorkshire patient regardless of where you live in the country. As a result, you will only be able to see a GP in Yorkshire and therefore only be able to receive pre-natal non-emergency treatment in Yorkshire or the direct surrounding areas. Your girlfriend will have the right to have appointments in London but will first have to register with a GP in London and can then only receive non-emergency treatment in London.

Hope that makes sense!