Other people's opinions

[ScarlettMG]

I'm all for opinions when they're being asked for like on here... but is anyone else getting fed up of getting people's opinions on their chosen name when they werent asked for?!

We're having a little girl and have chosen the name Amalia for her, with Maya for short/actually what we will be calling her day to day as opposed to being written on her birth certificate. Debating Lorraine for a middle name as its my mum's name... got time to decide yet. And Hernandez which is our surname. We also have Juliette as a back up incase she's born and clearly doesnt fit her name!

I'm so wary when people ask "what are you going to call her" because this ALWAYS seems to come followed by an opinion! I've even had someone say to me "I dont like Maya, I'll just call her Amalia".... erm WHAT THE ****?! do you meet someone in real life and when they say their name is Wendy you say "I dont like that so I'll just call you Dy"?! No is the answer.

Massive shout out to OH who told his mum that he wasnt bothered about whether she liked the name or not as she has had 3 children whos names she has chosen and this is our baby to name. BOOM MIL!

Long and short of this rant being that I love our name choice as it has personal meaning for us on many different levels and couldn't care less what anyone else has to think. However, I've decided that when any one else asks me what she will be called I'll just say we're still thinking about it to avoid any more unsolicited opinions

 

[claire_louise9]

I really don't blame you, its your baby so you can call her what the hell you like and too bad on anyone else. Xxx
I know when I have my baby people will probably think there too common but I don't care I chose what I want. If its a girl she's going to be Emily Mae or Lewis James for a boy.

 

[TaffyRose1]

I know so many people who refuse to tell people they're chosen name for that reason, I think with this one when people ask I'll just say we haven't decided. When you announce the name after the birth people are too busy cooing over bubs and just accept it xxx

 

[SunnySue]

This is just one of the many things that people, including complete strangers, seem to think they are entitled to an opinion in when you are pregnant. They seem to think that pregnancy gives them free reign to criticize everything from name choice, to your weight, to what you feed your child. This is my 3rd baby and i'm finally conifent enouh to tell these people that I don't care for their opinion! Rant over
Maya is lovely by the way, as is amalia x

 

[kinkers]

I really don't get it, I would never ever negatively comment on a name. If I didn't like it I would either just say something along the lines of 'aw' or not say anything at all!

I told my friend I liked Toby and she told me I "couldn't have it" as it's a dogs name. Few weeks later she was talking about names again and said in a really patronising way that when choosing a name I must think of the different connotations that other people would have - for example Freddie (which I had also mentioned I liked) would make people think of Freddie Kruger and that's not really a good thing according to her. The absolute cheek of her! I now only mentione names to my best friends and my mum and thankfully they haven't been rude about them!

 

[x Mrs TS x]

I think both of those names are beautiful. I'm not sure why people feel the name to comment, it's the same on everything though from the size of your bump, bfeeding etc. We've also had some people moan that we've not found out the sex!!

I like names that are a little different too, who wants their child to be the same as every other child, of you can think of something you love then that's all that matters and I'm sure your little one will be very proud of her very pretty name/s!

p.s loving the boom to the MIL haha x

 

[Pin badge]

I can't imagine what makes people think they can pass judgement! My Mum started on names when we were only about 16 weeks and dismissed lots we liked as dogs names, old fashioned, knew a nasty person with that name etc etc so now we lie! Lol! We either say we haven't decided or come up with a list of random names which are not really options so when people pass comment we couldn't care less!
In truth we have chosen a name + middle name for either sex...we are team yellow so it'll be a surprise when we call them and say it's a boy/girl and his/her name is. xx

 

[Pin badge]

Btw I really like the names you have chosen, beautiful xx

 

[ScarlettMG]

Thanks ladies, glad to know I'm not the only one! Am quite good at biting back retorts, but I reckon my face says it all... Its just been constant since V date when I felt confident enough about things to share names with family and friends.

Them "what are you going to call her"
Me "We're thinking of Amalia for her birth certificate and the shortened version Maya for day to day"
Them "I dont like that/ Wont it be confusing/ I'll call her something else thats not pretty (etc etc)"

Anyone notice the part in my answer where I ask "what do you think?" or "do you like it?". No, me neither lol.

And yep Sunny Sue, have also had people commenting on my bump, anywhere from "are you sure its not twins" to "you must have gotten your dates wrong" to "well I suppose you're both tall thats probably why she is looking HUGE" to my Grandma bless who made me cry the other day by asking to see a photo of how I was bumping along and then replied to the photo with "OMG you're humongous! I'd better start knitting bigger cardies for her, and a nice big one for you to wear until you get the baby weight off". Good job she's like 85 and luckily didnt mean it to make me cry!

These people clearly need to read this article: http://www.scarymommy.com/10-things-never-to-say-to-a-pregnant-woman/

If you havent come across this website yet, please have a scan through the articles it had me in tears of laughter!!! Only problem is I read them all in an evening and now want more!

Love xxx

 

[TaffyRose1]

Honestly it never ceases to amaze me what people feel they can comment on to a pregnant woman. I seem to carry really small when pregnant and when I was pregnant with my son I forever had 'are you sure there's nothing wrong', 'that's not right you being so small', 'are you sure you're eating'. Giving birth 3 weeks early and him weighing 7lb 6oz shut most of them up! Then I had grief for finding out the sex because I'd ruined the surprise and blah, blah, blah. We were talking about names with my parents last night and my mum is very opinionated but I just smile and ignore her comments, my dad just keeps telling her it's nothing to do with her By the way I think you've chosen very pretty names, I too don't want to choose the really popular ones, not because I don't like them but because I do not want them to be one of 5 in their class at school xxx

 

[ft90]

I totally get this!!! For the record I love Amalia and Maya equally, I think they're lovely choices for a full and short name!

I get really annoyed when people comment on my name choices! With our son he was Caleb from about 24 weeks pregnant. My mum liked it at first then totally went off it and would tell me on a daily basis how much she hated it and kept making suggestions of "nicer names" Obviously I stuck with it and told her to get used to it, which of course she did, by 35 weeks she loved the name and says to me even now that it's perfect.

It's like you'd never meet someone and say "oh I hate your child's name by the way", so why should name choices be any different! This time once we've found out the sex on Thursday and start looking at names properly and settle on one, I'm debating not telling anyone, I just can't handle the rising aggression inside me when i get unsolicited opinions!

 

[fao]

When people ask about names, I just say that we have a short list, and will choose from that when baby is born. Cue long silence, and when I do not fill it with details of the shortlist, the conversation quickly changed to another topic, as it is clear that I am not sharing.

In fact, the shortlist changes all the time, and I just don't want any input from nosy busybodies.

Maybe I should post on here for opinions? Lol

 

[mishi]

Your names are lovely hon!

I've had mixed reactions to my favourite names, they aren't very common, and some love them and some openly say they dislike them, so I no longer share!

It stuns me what people think is acceptable to say to us pregnant ladies

xxxx

 

[Gillyboos]

My parents kept saying they didn't like this name or they didn't like that name, after asking me what names we were thinking of.
I gently pointed out that they had asked me a question and I had not solicited their opinion in any way. Dad got a bit embarrassed then. It goes hand in hand with the size comments or 'did you plan it?' questions. People just don't seem to have a filter when you're pregnant.

 

[Lisianthus]

This is why I think it's better not to tell anyone the name until the baby is born. People think they can change your mind if they don't like the name and the baby isn't born yet, most of the time they think they're being helpful and don't realise it may be rude. Once the baby is born and you announce his/her name it's official so no one comments whether they like the name or not as there is nothing they can do to change it.

 

[Toria111]

We hadn't chosen a name when our daughter was born 8 weeks ago. We had a short list of 3. So when my inlaws came to hospital the day after our LO was born and asked, we had pretty much decided on Lyla. My mother in law made a face, said that's an awful name, and people will shorten it to lil and that's even worse! Then went over to the crib and said to our baby "I'm going to call you Lucy". Which was on our short list. I burst in to tears after she left. My husband was put off calling her Lyla, and there was no way we were going to call her Lucy and let my mother in law think she named her. We named her Emma in the end which I love too. But regret not standing my ground.

 

[TaffyRose1]

That's an awful thing for your MIL to do hun, it makes me so mad when people are like that, especially when meeting their grandchild for the first time! They had their chance to name their kids now it's ours. Makes me realise I'm quite lucky with my MIL she's pretty supportive of any name choices we have and certainly wouldn't say anything bad when the baby has been born xxx