Other Halfs

[LisaJ1986]

Does anyone else have trouble getting their OH to do things for them?
Since Angel was born nearly 9 weeks ago, he's barely pulled his finger out to give me a hand with anything! He's changed a total of 6 nappies!!! 6! That's pathetic! When i ask him to do it he says he's too busy! Playing on the PC! I asked him yesterday while i did some jobs, but when i came into the room a few mins later she still wasn't changed and had started leaking! He said he 'forgot'!
He's brilliant with her, don't get me wrong. She smiled at him 1st and she loves him to bits, but i need some help. Even if it's not with nappy changing! He won't do the washing up when i ask, hoover if it's needed!
I may sound ridiculous but i need a bit of help while i have this 24 hour job of looking after the baby. And coz of BF i'm doing the night feeds too! We've started to use bottles too but i find it so easy to just BF her rather than mess around getting a bottle warmed.
If i get upset about it all coz i'm tired he just responds with "Here she goes again!" I just find it very hard sometimes. And occasionally i feel like a bad mother! Just this feeling i get sometimes.

Sorry to rant! Think i just needed to get that off my chest! I have no one else to talk to!

 

[Squiglet]

he needs a kick up the ass

I could say the same thing about someone else...

 

[Melly+2]

My oh was and still is the same, he never did anything in the house, would rarely change Hope but i had to take it upon myself to just cope with it, unfortunatly men are shite It does get easier, i dont really have any advise but i thought id let you know my oh is the same

 

[lfc_sarah]

Sorry your having this problem
You need to tell him straight....

I dont have this problem
My OH tells me to go sleep when he's off while he minds the baby/ cleans up
Dont mean to rub it in
Its what they should do, help !

 

[LisaJ1986]

God knows how many times i've told him straight, had enough etc. It wouldn't bother me so much if he worked but he doesn't. And at the mo for some reason i get upset easy. If i get the tiniest bit frustrated i cry. When he goes to his mates at night i'm a nightmare. He doesn't go too often but i feel like he's rubbing my nose in the fact i don't have that freedom. I have no mates to go visit for a break.
And sometimes he has the cheek to tell me i do too much!

 

[sazzylou]

my OH's pretty crap too.....

He was out on the p*ss with his mates on saturday night and was staying over there so i had the girls on my own and all the night feeds , which is fine...but when he eventually rolls in the next day he just lies around on the sofa doing sod all while i do ALL the housework, bottles, washing, playing with beth, cooking. He thought he was helping cos he was "looking after the baby" which is a load of cack cos all he was doing was holding izzie while she slept!

We've not been speaking since yesterday afternoon, lol, and TBh thats the way i like it at the minute.....

 

[Sherlock]

If he's not working and is home all day then I'd hope he would pull his finger out and do some stuff to help you out. Be it washing up or hanging out the laundry or hoovering. He really has no excuse.

I don't think its fair you are doing everything. Coping with night feeds, daytime baby care and all the housework and cooking is really a huge thing and you deserve some support and effort from him. It took two of you to make your baby and his responsibility does not end there or to just cuddle her and do nothing else IMHO. He needs to support you and get stuck in somehow.

If he prefers to sit in front of the computer and play games then there is something wrong there. He should be getting off his arse and helping.

My Oh has been wonderful, I really cannot sing his praises enough and while I know not every man is as good as he is, I like to think overall men pull their weight in the early weeks if they are able (ie not working nightshifts or some such and therefore needing sleep). Still even then men can do some things, even if its the washing up.

I can understand why you are so upset If he keeps fobbing you off and being lazy and not helping then stop doing things for him. You don't need more work so make it easier on yourself and leave his laundry and cooking and so on and focus on yourself and LO and leave him to sort himself out.

 

[1sttimemum]

Mine works silly shifts, he helps out as much as he can altho sometimes id like a bit extra

For instance tomorrow night he is working nights, so tonight he will stay up all night and keep caitlyn with him til approx 6am and i can get a undisturbed amount of sleep, he puts the sterilliser on and when i get stressed out cos shes cryin he will take her off me.

Altho earlier he said he doesnt want to feed her anymore until she gets quicker at eating!!! We shall see about that!!!

 

[nori]

I was going to stick up for the guy a bit until you said hes not working! I now agree with the first reply and give him a kick up the arse!

Thats not fair on you.. be firm hun.. go on strike and dont feed him, do his washing or ironing. Do yours and babys and tell him to sort himself out!

Good luck,

Claire x