well everyone is sleeping now, though not before another bloody drama
Basically, this is going to sound stupid but i have had a real issue today with food. Usually Liam leaves me enough milk for cereal, a couple of ready meals and some nibbley stuff to eat during the day
I wake up, i have a cup of raspberry leaf tea and a cup of normalitea and a pint of water
if Liam is here he of course will bring me the teas because its easier for him
Anyway, yesterday of course neither me nor Liam though 'oh lets do a shop mission' because we knew that mum would be around all day and could feed me/run errands that needed to be done
Bad idea
I got up around 6am with Liam and couldnt get back to sleep at all, he left at 7 and I drank tea and websurfed before going downstairs to join mum at about half 8 - i was pretty hungry and i heard her up and about
Told her i was hungry and she complained that there was no bread in the house and also no eggs, i said 'okay well the shop down the road (which is a 3 minute walk) sells these things' she then got a proper stress on because she had just gone out to get milk for cups of tea and she had to go out again
I said 'well should I go out'
'WELL THATS NOT WHAT I SAID' okay...
so i said well, one of us has to go out and she started grumbling about having to and all this, i was like 'mum i am sorry but I am hungry and if i dont eat then i will feel really quite ill and its not good and himself inside starts kicking about and its generally well uncomfortable'
so she went to the shop, got some food and came back - we had a nice brekkie but it felt like SUCH a chore and like i was being a real burden
Then she started complaining about Liam wanting to do the gloss work in the windows and to be fair to her she had made the windows all nice with curtains and he took it all down to paint the coving (i think they should have painted the coving first but there you go) And had a go at me because she was really tired (i had had 2 hours sleep by this point)
Soooo, then she starts going off on one that the only reason Liam didnt want her to do the gloss work was because i had told him she was rubbish at painting (when actually he had spent ages repairing a rubbish paint job she did in the bathroom the last time she came and THAT was why he wanted to do the gloss himself)
I told her if she really wanted to do it, to just do it and it wouldnt be a problem if she did it well etc
then Tiffany came round to borrow the car and i asked her if on her way back (at around 1pm) she could pick me up some lunch from reeves or something, at which point mum says 'Well I can get you some lunch' but with all the hassle over breakfast i thought i would get tiffany to pick me something up because then mum could carry on with her mad painting/decorating missions
So i didnt get Tiff to get any food, went to sleep for a few hours and got woken up at about 13.00 by mum who demanded we got ready and went to the midwife appointment (which was at 3.40) immediately. So i headed downstairs and got myself slowly ready, all the time being prodded by mum who DEMANDED we leave immediately and i was like 'mum, where are we going to go? we cant exactly sit in the doctors surgery for 2 hours so we might as well take it easy'
Went into town, mum bought me a sandwich which they had to make (and for some reason they put loads of mayo on a bun, followed by readymixed tuna mayo and two pieces of cucumber) so it was basically a mayonnaise sandwich with a bit of tuna somewhere in it and a tiny bit of salad (NASTY) and we drove to the doctors surgery
I said 'i'm going to go and sit outside in the courtyard and eat this sandwich - now this was at 3.30... i hadnt eaten anything since 9am' and she complained that i was just about to go and have my appointment and i didnt have time and should wait until we got home
but i was hungry
I was really quite amazingly hungry and little man was kicking away demanding his dinner!
so i ate half of this disgusting mayo filled wrong sandwich and headed back inside (the courtyard was attached to the waiting room so its not like they wouldnt have found me) and had my appointment
mum insisted on driving home when she nearly blew up my sodding car because 'she didnt realise it wasnt an automatic' and i was like ffs let me drive then! i need my car!!!!
Dropped me off at home, didnt offer to make tea or anything like that, ate a thoroughly nice looking chicken and bacon salad she had bought from the disgusting mayo place and i ate a lovely bowl of special K
She then kept going on about 'what our plans were' and 'what we were doing' and the whole house was covered in stuff that was sort of half way done -
I had major sugar withdrawals basically, i wanted a bag of crisps and a snickers bar pronto or something nice and sugary (i would have bought a sandwich and a donut, so sue me - i am bloody pregnant) anyway
It was just a little while until Liam got home and i was feeling like i couldnt even ask for a cup of tea or bit of toast because she would just snap at me about 'eating AGAIN' i feel like such a whale already but if i am hungry i am going to eat right now! I am in no mood to start any bloody diets!
So... have spent all day with her, have had to make all the tea, sort myself out food from our understocked kitchen and am slowly beginning to feel like a complete burden on everything and on society as a whole
Liam came home, bought me a drinkee and a snickers bar (what an angel) and we sent mum off to the shop to get dinner (which she got) and Liam then cooked dinner for everyone, which was just chicken and salad nothing majorly massive or anything
I got dead hungry again around 10pm and Liam went off to the shop to buy some foods for me to eat, he was going to cook me up a snack when he realised it was gone 11pm and he had to go off to bed
so i was sat in the front room and mum said 'Oh well i will cook it, you go off to bed' to Liam
then turns around to me and said
'are you REALLY hungry NOW?'
ffs
yes, i am hungry, its 11pm, i am pregnant and hungry and i dont want to have to fucking well justify my eating habits ANYMORE
so i said 'sod it i will cook'
at which point Liam freaks out and demands that i go and sit down and dont cook anything and rah rah and takes it totally personally that i have decided to cook
I just feel like turd, i feel like i am a complete burden and that mum is more than happy to run about the place decorating and making a mess of thing that were perfectly reasonable before she got here rather than just sitting on a sofa drinking tea with me and waiting for Jasper to arrive
so i just feel like a spare part, like me and Liam have struggled for ages to get to this point where she is here and the burden can be shared a bit and its just not happening
i feel like i am expected not to eat when i am hungry and instead wait for her to eat which is alot less than me because shes not pregnant and stuff
i feel like shit
and i just had to get that all out
Is this out of character for your mum to be acting like this? It's awful that she is making you feel guilty for eating! I think you need to sit her down and tell her exactly how you feel! Afterall, at this stage in your pregnancy you should just be relaxing and taking it easy....AND EATING!!!! xxxx
