OH driving me mad...again

[Bee7]

Urgh, i feel like all i ever do is bitch and moan on this forum. Just feeling really low at the moment. The ex and i are trying to work things out so that when baby comes we can be a proper family but things just aren't going to plan. We get on well over the phone and in texts etc, but when we see each other there always seems to be some major row usually over something trivial that escalates into full blown horribleness. I know he loves me and he's been so happy about the baby news, he keeps buying little bits and pieces and i can tell he's genuinely enthusiastic and excited about it. He'll definitely be a good dad. But problems from our past just seem to be creeping in continually and i really don't know if we can be compatible together as a couple. I don't want my baby to be brought up around arguments.

Feel really lonely at the moment. I can't talk to friends and family about it because i don't want them to hate him. It's already a precarious situation as it is given our past history. I feel i have no one to talk to about this and the pregnancy in general. And i'm continually worried about the baby, the future, money, where i'll live. Sorry for the self pitying, i just needed a bit of a vent xxxx

 

[littlemiss83]

You're defo in the right place for a moan chick!

Sometimes its hard to forget things that have happened in the past, and theres the added pressure of trying to make things perfect for new baby.

Concentrate on just trying to be happy around each other - and make a bit of an agreement that nothing gets "casted up" no chatting about old times ect, and make a pact that if one of you starts the other is within right to ignore.

Hope it all works out for you.

 

[BabyBrain]

Oh hun, it must be very hard for you.
Would relationship counselling work? I've heard it's very good and might be worth a try, am sure your midwife could help you arrange something. You need to figure out why it's so explosive only when face to face, even if you don't stay together handing over baby for visiting could be just as volatile. I really hope you find a solution hun xxxxxxxxxxxxx

 

[l_maclean]

I was gonna suggest relationship councilling as well - especially if its stuff from the past thats creepy in. A councillor could help figure out why one or both of you cant leave that behind.

hope it works out, and dont worry about moaning, thats what we're here for.
xxx

 

[BlueEyes]

Oh love . Virtual hugs are coming your way my dear! This is the perfect place to vent and moan. Maybe counselling could do some good? Lots of love xxxx

 

[Bee7]

Thanks guys, i hadn't really considered relationship counselling. To be honest if the rows continue i think i'm just going to have to draw a line under it. The point is that two people who have such heated rows shouldn't be together and a baby certainly shouldn't be around it. I have a lot of thinking to do before i decide whether or not we're ready to live together again. Luckily i still have plenty of time. Thanks again ladies xx

 

[Dani2810]

Urgh, i feel like all i ever do is bitch and moan on this forum. Just feeling really low at the moment. The ex and i are trying to work things out so that when baby comes we can be a proper family but things just aren't going to plan. We get on well over the phone and in texts etc, but when we see each other there always seems to be some major row usually over something trivial that escalates into full blown horribleness. I know he loves me and he's been so happy about the baby news, he keeps buying little bits and pieces and i can tell he's genuinely enthusiastic and excited about it. He'll definitely be a good dad. But problems from our past just seem to be creeping in continually and i really don't know if we can be compatible together as a couple. I don't want my baby to be brought up around arguments.

Feel really lonely at the moment. I can't talk to friends and family about it because i don't want them to hate him. It's already a precarious situation as it is given our past history. I feel i have no one to talk to about this and the pregnancy in general. And i'm continually worried about the baby, the future, money, where i'll live. Sorry for the self pitying, i just needed a bit of a vent xxxx

Firstly I'm sending u a big hug... I have have gone through a similar situation at about 8/10 wks pg my relationship got really bad & I left my OH I even left him whilst he was out I packed my things up without him realising waited for him to leave & rang a cab I couldn't cope anymore living on eggshells. We seemed to work through our differences I went back for a few days had our 1st scan & then went back to stay with my mum to give us some space things seemed to be turning a corner I went back to him to make a real go of things, however his jealousy & possesivness returned especially when I went to visit my family. The last straw I was 27 wks & he really lost his temper when out doing our laundry he took my car keys & left me outside from 6.30pm till 10.30pm he caused that much of a scene in the street s passer by called the police this was the icing on the cake I wasn't going back to him he was arrested & I left with next to nothing I still don't have my belongings back or the things we bought for our baby..,I'm so much happier now I'm on my own I have my mum & sister & a great family to support me, don't get mr wrong I have my down days when I think about what he has done but I will not put my baby or myself threw a life with him & I'm looking forward to a great future with my baby & family. I gave him the chance but as much as you want it to work it's not always the way sweetheart you know deep down what the right thing to do is xxx