OH changed his mind

[Eatonhj1]

Me and my other half have been together for 7 months it is a whirlwind romance and i love him sooo much. We have talked about a pregnancy even though i have a boy from a previous relationship who is 10 and he has 3 girls from a previous marriage full time, he proposed to me just one month after meeting and it has been very dreamy and wonderful, we decided the other day to start trying for our own child, so i came off the pill on Tuesday 2nd Nov and made love on the Friday, i know that i can concieve very quickly and it only has to be out of my system a couple of days so i know i have gotten caught. Saturday we had a big row and now he says he wants me to take the morning after pill as he thinks i am not emotionally ready. He has made me feel in a space of a week the happiest woman in the world and then the saddest.

I dont know what to do he says he does want one but he doesnt think i am ready for one, i told him that just because we have a row doesnt mean i love him any less, and that i am not ready, but he has made me feel like i am a freak and i have emotional problems when 99 % of the time we hardly ever argue.

He said are you going to take the pill and i said no because i want the baby and he said well when you go all emotional on me dont say i didnt tell you so, i said women get emotional when they are pregnant because there hormones are every where and he said he wouldnt be able to cope with that when it happens and that he might not stay.

I am so upset i dont know whether i am coming are going and i feel he is trying to control me.

Please help.

 

I think you need to sit and talk about this calmly hun and decide which way you are oing to proceed. Sorry I can't offer anymore advice than this, I hope it works out.

 

[budge]

personally i think 7 months is too short a period a time to get to know someone enough to have a child with them.
Whats the rush?

 

[Tasha20]

personally i think 7 months is too short a period a time to get to know someone enough to have a child with them.
Whats the rush?

Me too, When my mum split up with my dad over 4 years ago She met someone and was head over heels in love, by six months they were engaged and by 8 she was pregnant.

3 months later he left her because he got scared and realised what he got himself into and that it was rushed.

I wouldnt say that my mum regrets it because she ahs a lovley little girl and I love her to bits but she still resents being on her own.

I wouldnt rush into it, things change over time for either the best or worst.

 

[little*red]

personally i think 7 months is too short a period a time to get to know someone enough to have a child with them.
Whats the rush?

i think it differs between couples. My oh and i have been together 10 months and and i got pregnant after 5/6 months together (one miscarriage and my current pregnancy).
However it seems as if you two havent discussed every aspect of the whole baby making thing. its easy enough to say you want a baby on a whim, but a lot of men freak out when it actually happens. maybe you two should sit down and discuss it fully. to be honest i wouldnt want to stay with a guy who would leave me because i got slightly hormonal when pregnant, but thats easier for me to say cos im not emotionally involved. have a good long talk with him, and ask if he really, truly does want children right now, its better to be told he doesnt want them now than to be left alone with the children you already have and a newborn.
i hope you get it sorted out soon, good luck .

 

[Urchin]

The chances of you being pregnant are very slim anyway, if you took a regular pill on Tuesday and had sex in Friday.

You need to have a big talk about things, I don't think it's fair that he changes his mind and expects that you have a mornnig after pill. That's well out of order as you are suppsed to be trying for a baby.

I wouldn't take the pill, chances are you are not, but if you are then maybe it was meant to happen.

 

[Ebony_Mommy]

well ive come to realise that time hardly matters...

ive been with my o/h for nearly 4 years and he still left my ass

but i think.. hes not ready....

 

[Strangeness]

I got pregnant (planned) after 9 months with my dh, still going very strong 3 years down the line and married for 6 months so not all end in heartache.

I would say you need to speak to your partner about the situation, you need to know what he really feels and that it wasn't just heat of the moment. I wouldn't think you were pregnant just yet but I wouldn't take the pill just incase hun.

 

[PyscoFalcon]

Are you sure HE'S ready? He can't tell you when YOU are ready as only you know.

Sounds like he's having cold feet.

 

[v11kae]

Your gut instinct is usually the right one as long as it is made on a clear mind before too much cnfusion sets in!

You could be together 5 minutes or 50 years and no one knows the exact outcome!

 

[sazzleevans]

Hi

The first thing i noticed when i read your post was that "he thinks your not emotionaly ready". In my experience if men know that you are slightly insecure about anything they like to make you feel that you are unstable.

Take a breath and try to be clear about what YOU want. If you get upset and he says this again be clear in your own mind that you know what you want. Its ok to be emotional just dont let him turn that on you and be clear about what you want.

Sarah

 

[jenna]

i think you should wait a while. if either of you arnt ready then having a baby is just going to tear you apart. If he doesnt want it then you shouldnt force him, and if hes saying your arnt ready and you are then maybe hes trying to change the subject so the blame isnt on him?

 

[cassi]

I think it sounds like he is not ready but too afraid to say that he has changed his mind, and in that case bad part on him for not talking to you but if he dosnt want a baby with you at the moment then you should just accept that, sorry it sounds harsh but if you dont accept it and force him into having a baby then it will just tear the relationship apart.