Off topic but.....

[LucyAnn]

Cats bags are packed too lol my two cats are staying at mom n dads with me after too, have packed their toys and food etc i owe my parents big time for having us all!!

Also babys dad has just text me, I have no one to ever speak to about this subject the single parents forum doesnt actually seem to have much life in there and never posted anything in here as dunno if i would get in trouble with it being off topic

Have posted the story to why im single in there if any one is bored and fancies a really long read lol http://www.pregnancyforum.co.uk/sin...-section-s-heres-my-biiiiig-introduction.html

The last contact i had with him was 30th august when he showed up shouting swearing being abusive and ended up being that angry with me he wheel spinned off in his car which he had got back on road rather than contributing not even a penny to his unborn child. I have had all the stress of a car crash at 7 1/2 months and also growth scans as you all know i have had a turbulent time.

Well he gets paid today 6 days before my due date horaay lol! He has just text saying 'is everything ok with you and baby? i'm sorry about before.'

wow he once text me asking how cats were the once but has never addressed me and baby like this before .... wow has reality finally hit him. (i have neevr been a bitch to him by the way) its all just been an extra stress not knowing if he wanted involvement etc

Sorry for the ramble xxxxxxxxxxxx

 

[stacey_lea86]

Hahaha - bag packing galore going on today!

Sorry you've had a tough time with your ex. Maybe he is realising what is happening & that he can't run away from it. Did you reply to his text?

xx

 

[Sarah13]

That's good he's texted you, maybe starting to hit him now. Just try and keep things light and friendly, you don't need any stress and arguments just now! Baby comes first closely followed by you so just take things slow and work out what will be best all round. Lots of people post in these sections about partners as it is kind of related to pregnancy and how your feeling etc.

 

[LucyAnn]

i know we its funny cus at the start of a preg we all double check with pregnancy tests then at the the end of preg we all double checking our bags.
Just a shame its took him a month to opologise for behaviour and 6 days before due date bt can only hope he is willing to be amicable now

well i know the first bit of text to say yeah everythings fine. but how do i address his opology, sounds odd to say thanks for opologising lol or do i be firm and say thanks for opoligising your behavoiur really upset me etc

See i stopped updating him with MW and hosp appointments after what he did last month he hasnt know that like everyday last week i was in hosp & all the growth scans and monitoring (not that he did ask to be updated in first place, but ive been the one with inducement hanging over my head since 35 weeks too.

Just dont know how to approach him with acess. I clearly am not sure if he wants to see baby or not and i have took advice from citizens advice beaurea and they have said its up to me how much access times and dates to give whihc is nice to hear after jon threatened he will show up whenever he pleases etc. I just wanted answers so if he asked me i had them ready. Like i said to the company is once a week, or once every two weeks acceptable etc and the only response i get is its up to you you are the babys mom etc
I know its up to me but i dont know what the norm is. And obviuosly dont wanna pee jon off with too little access but will have to be firm on days and times because of how his behaviour has been. agressive abusive and unreliable
xxxxx

 

[LucyAnn]

That's good he's texted you, maybe starting to hit him now. Just try and keep things light and friendly, you don't need any stress and arguments just now! Baby comes first closely followed by you so just take things slow and work out what will be best all round. Lots of people post in these sections about partners as it is kind of related to pregnancy and how your feeling etc.

Thanks Sarah wish me and him could have addressed issues earlier down the line but he just wasnt willing to be amicable and becasue of his threats i have never been able to feel safe in my home afterwards, always panicking as few months back i wasnt in i was my mates for tea and he text saying im not leaving till you come out im outside your front door etc i know your in your windows open! i wasnt in and he even phoned my mom on me lol!!!!!xxx

 

[saze]

oh babe hope ya okay, awww the cats are all packed xx

 

[Geminiblue]

well maybe these are his true colours and what you saw before was fake? I would tell his mum very little about what he has or hasnt done. There are always 3 sides to a situation, yours, his and the truth in both but she will always see his side not yours so dont waste your breath. Id just say look its all very difficult and very upsetting but I would like for you to see your grandchild. Be as accommodating as possible and stay as neutral as you can. As for him, Id keep away, hes proved himself unreliable for months, whether its shock or depression its still not right and you are not his whipping boy ready for when he feels pd off to abuse and to be inconsistant. Just step back and see if he steps up. Take care xxx

 

[LucyAnn]

Thanks Saze lol yeah the cats love them i do !

Yeah just text him back saying 'yeah ok ta, and ta for opologising as it had unsettled me'

xxxx

 

[Sarah13]

My daughters father was a bit like this but time did calm things down and he has been a great dad over the years (altho I hate to admit it!) he even took me to court as he wanted full access and me not to see her! There's no way that was going to happen so after a lot of money wasted in courts we ended up with strict arrangements but everyone stuck to them and knew where we stood. It's great now they just see each other when it suits them and I don't have any involvement with him!

 

[Geminiblue]

ps yes say "thank you for apologising I really appreciate it" and leave it at that. Some people say "oh thats ok" when it blatantly isnt. I never say its ok I was always say thank you I appreciate it as then you are not saying its ok to treat you like that nor are you saying youre over what hes done. Does that make sense?

 

[LucyAnn]

well maybe these are his true colours and what you saw before was fake? I would tell his mum very little about what he has or hasnt done. There are always 3 sides to a situation, yours, his and the truth in both but she will always see his side not yours so dont waste your breath. Id just say look its all very difficult and very upsetting but I would like for you to see your grandchild. Be as accommodating as possible and stay as neutral as you can. As for him, Id keep away, hes proved himself unreliable for months, whether its shock or depression its still not right and you are not his whipping boy ready for when he feels pd off to abuse and to be inconsistant. Just step back and see if he steps up. Take care xxx

Thanks gemini thats really spot on. His mom had text me a few weeks back and she asked how i was and asked me if jon was gonna be involved with baby or not as she didnt know and said she wanted to visit me before birth, know when i was in labour and see the baby as soon as born! all i said was i was willing to be amiciable but a shame he was being aggressive, her response was oh well hope it settles down soon take care! xxx

 

[LucyAnn]

My daughters father was a bit like this but time did calm things down and he has been a great dad over the years (altho I hate to admit it!) he even took me to court as he wanted full access and me not to see her! There's no way that was going to happen so after a lot of money wasted in courts we ended up with strict arrangements but everyone stuck to them and knew where we stood. It's great now they just see each other when it suits them and I don't have any involvement with him!

its lovely to hear it eventually settled down for you, there is some hope then! My main thing like you is i just want strict arrangements so we know where we stand xxx

 

[LucyAnn]

ps yes say "thank you for apologising I really appreciate it" and leave it at that. Some people say "oh thats ok" when it blatantly isnt. I never say its ok I was always say thank you I appreciate it as then you are not saying its ok to treat you like that nor are you saying youre over what hes done. Does that make sense?

Thankyou yeah had already sent text saying ta but it had unsettled me. You keep close to this thread will be asking you for help if he texts back lol just hoping as its his pay day today the contact will prompt money? seen as ive bought everything myself and some on credit cards etc

Hopefully time has healed him. When he saw me a month ago he even had a go at me for not knowing the date he got paid his words were 'Shows how much fucking notice you took of me while we were together' and then demading he wanted to be at birth and choose baby names thats why ive been living on edge! xxxx

 

[LucyAnn]

his reply is 'glad everything is ok not long now is there.'

well duuhhh no lol what the hell am i meant to reply to that

 

[LucyAnn]

oh god i feel sick, it makes my stomach flip in such a horrid way! xxx