Advice please, Why are some men just cold and heartless

Discussion in 'Third Trimester' started by emma1976, Nov 6, 2005.

  1. emma1976

    emma1976 Well-Known Member

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    Hi ladies I did put this on Single and pregnant but really need some advice and those of you who chat to me regularly know about the ex :( This is the first time I have actually cried over my ex since we split not long ago, after everything I have been through with him through this pregnancy. Him not being there and putting everything before me and baby and cheating on me etc, he is also 39 going on 20. Anyway, he contacts me maybe once a week if that not even to find out about baby sometimes, this is via text. Anyway I had a drunk call last night and me being miss soft answers the call at 3.30am to see if he is ok. Usual crap that he loves me and baby and then he can't cope in his pathetic whimpering voice. Went on for about 1/2 hour and he got taxi home eventually. Then calls me from hom to say he got back OK. Then he tells me that he is once again in contact and God knows what else with this woman that he was seeing just before me, he did say something about shagging her. Don't think he meant to, well he probably did to hurt me, bearing in mind he isn't an emailing and texting person, well never has to me anyway let alone now when I am 3 weeks off my due date and gonna be a single parent. So off he goes about how he is just talking to her via email and text etc (which is rubbish he's [email protected] her again and lying to me about that), which really really hurt me as he can be assed to reply to someone he was never interested in in the first place just kocking her off and about 3 others at the same time. Made up excuses she mailed him first, so now not only does he contact this one he was never interested in via mail he has her number back as well. This has obvioulsy hurt me loads as I can't believe he has the nerve to call me crying about baby and then tell me he is back in contact with this other woman. I mean what is he trying to do to me, I am 3 weeks off giving birth, shitting myself and trying to cope alone because I can never trust him, and here he is telling me that he contacts this ex of his and can't be bothered to contact me in anyway to see if the health of his unborn child is OK. The last email I got said this
    Hi,Hope you and baby are ok. I haven’t been in touch because I lost your mobile no when my phone crashed the other day. If you don’t want me to have it then I’ll just use the landline in an emergency. Not sure what you intend to do when you go into labour but I’ll find out (or not as the case may be) sometime soon. Not much else to say really. It was an excuse for getting rid of my number.
    Am I being an idiot for getting upset about this as he really has put the icing on the cake now. Or am I being unreasonable. To me this bloke is a joke for someone who is nearly 40. Also I was willing to give him rights even though he has already said he has blocked me and baby out. Obviously by the sounds of it. He can take me to court now if he wants rights. I have had too much stress from him and now after this I wish he would just bugger off for good. My dad agrees and had to see me upset over it today. I'm scared enough about everything as it is without him doing this to me now weeks before I am due :( I have been so strong through it all so far till now.

    Thanks for listening.

    xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx
     
  2. LouisecH

    LouisecH Well-Known Member

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    Hi Emma

    I can't write politely what I think of this 'man' but it's lots of very rude words.

    if I were you I'd change my number to stop myself answering his calls (if he magically finds your number again, which I'm sure he will).

    How DARE he call you in the middle of the night when you're 9 months pregnant and expect your support and sympathy. *&^&^*%%^££$^*^!!!!!!!!!!!!!

    I can't tell you how sorry I am that this has happened to you but you are a billion times better of without him even if it doesn't seme like it at the moment.

    Take care and (())), Louise
     
  3. emma1976

    emma1976 Well-Known Member

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    Thanks hun, don't know what I would have done throughout this pregnancy without you all :( Hugs back.

    xxxxxxxxxxxxxx
     
  4. LouisecH

    LouisecH Well-Known Member

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    I just wish I could say something of use rather than just fuming :evil:
     
  5. emma1976

    emma1976 Well-Known Member

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    Thats ok, I'm normally fuming but think this was the straw that broke the camels back now. xxxx
     
  6. Tara & Liam

    Tara & Liam Well-Known Member

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    Hi Emma

    I have really missed speaking to you.

    I really feel for you as this is horrendous. You should be enjoying your pregnancy.

    the only advice that i could give to you is to cut him out of your life completely until after the baby is born and then decide what you want to do about him after you have had your baby and you feel settled and strong within yourself.

    I hope this makes sense. there is really only two important people here and thats YOU and YOUR BABY, not that tosser.

    xx
     
  7. pips

    pips Well-Known Member

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    hi emma,
    this is just a wee note to say good luck! :)
    my advice to you is to not listen to your own heart , but to listen to your baby's (although its you that man's been putting the stress on!!). do you REALLY want such a man in your child's life?? are you two not better off without him early on, before the child even knows him? it's up to you to see.
    i'm also single as the immature sperm-donor (nickname i quite like) decided he wanted nothing to do with the baby as he , in fact, doesnt love me. fair enough. he's still hanging around though :twisted: - but he's NOT getting into the labour ward when the time comes...i'm glad i realised what he was worth before it was too late.
    i don't hate him, i'm just happy my child won't be brought up by a man who lacks stability.
    don(t let him grind you down!! and get your priorities straight although its easier said than done.. you're soon going to be a happy and proud mum!!!
    pip xx
     
  8. Tara & Liam

    Tara & Liam Well-Known Member

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    Hi Kayleigh

    I cant believe how brave you are having another baby so close to your first.

    I wish you nothing but good luck and i know that you will be a terrific mum to two babies as you are to Summer.

    take care honey

    x
     
  9. Tara & Liam

    Tara & Liam Well-Known Member

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    Are you doing this all on your own Kayleigh.

    You are such a strong woman i wish you nothing but the best.

    x
     
  10. K X

    K X Well-Known Member

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    Hi, I am sorry to hear the situation you are in, and to be honest I don't think he deserves to be a father. You need minimal stress at your stage, and what he is doing is just heartless. Maybe you should contemplate having no contact until the baby is born, that way you wont get stressed out. I only hope that he will be a good dad to the baby, if not, you will be a fabby mum anyway so it aint a great loss- (trust me, my mum brought me and my 2 sisters up on her own, after her so called husband - I don't even call him Dad, he aint worthy of the title - was having an affair. I don't feel like I have missed out on a Dad being there, I just have an incredible bond with my mum, like you will have with your precious one!)

    Emma, as hard as it is try and not get worked up and stressed out, the stage you are at just now is crucial. you and the little ba ba that's inside you are all that matters.

    Big hugs to you honey. xxxx
     
  11. emma1976

    emma1976 Well-Known Member

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    Thanks for all your advice ladies, I know he is a tosser and to be honest to go from me whos having his baby to someone else with 3 children (no offence to peoplw with 3 kids but you know what I mean) that aren't his shows what he is like. He doesn't have to commit to her and can get his leg over with her and as many others as he likes (like he did before when he was with her). So more fool her and his loss too as I will have baby and that is all I need. Men like that aren't worthy of having children under their care who can't be assed with their own.
    xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

    P.S. Congrats Kayli as well hun, you will be fine. You really don;t like having periods though do you :wink: :D xxxxxx
     
  12. *saulino*

    *saulino* Well-Known Member

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    hello

    *I'm so sorry to hear what has happened and i dont know why lots of men or shall i say boys are like that???? I hope you can figure somethign out and try not to stress too much cuz you have to take care of you and your little one.

    Katrina :D
     

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