Nursery - should my daughter be going?

Discussion in 'Baby & Toddler' started by fcroxy, Jan 26, 2016.

  1. fcroxy

    fcroxy Well-Known Member

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    Hey everyone. I haven't posted in B&T for a looong time! My daughter is now 2 so not so little anymore! Lots of new faces, congrats on your babies.

    Anyways quick question really, just wanting people opinions I suppose. Harper turned 2 in December and qualified for the free 15 hours a week for childcare but at the mo I don't feel ready to send her to nursery. I'm a SAHM so I feel there's no reason for her to be at nursery or childminders just yet, but I keep getting a few friends and family saying that she should be in nursery by now as it'll do her good etc.

    We go to play groups 4-5 days a week and regularly see friends with children or at the park or soft play areas so she's getting interaction with other children still. Both me and OH don't feel ready to send her and was ideally thinking of sending her to preschool at 3 (I'm hoping to get her into the preschool that is also the school I want her to go to) but with people keep questioning our decision I'm wondering now if she's missing out and whether it'll cause more problems in the future?

    Has anyone else started their kids later with childcare and did you have problems like separation issues? Any advice welcome :)
     
  2. ml600

    ml600 Well-Known Member

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    I don't have any experience but I imagine I will feel the same as you when we get there! I think if you (and your OH) don't think it's appropriate, then don't do it! I think children need a good deal of socialising but it sounds as though you're doing plenty of that anyway! I'm sorry if that's not terribly helpful! I guess what I'm trying to say is... Go with your gut! It's normally right!
     
  3. russellmuscle

    russellmuscle Well-Known Member

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    My LO has been in nursery since 9m when I went back to work but that was a need to back then.

    This time ill be cutting a few hours to be at home more. But I think however you want to raise your child is up to you.

    Im in the middle of moving Jackson nurseries as hes in private care but as hes turned 3 he qualifies for free hours and a local council nursery placement. I was more wanting him in preschool at 3 and in the local one because he will be going to school with the kids at the local one as we have now moved home too.

    Point being, if Jackson wasnt in private hed only just be allowed preschool care this year being 3, so I dont think they need it before then unless it suits your home needs. So if you wana wait until shes 3 I think thats completely acceptable.

    I think in preschool they get the kids more school ready, but there are some kids who are completely home cared until school and do perfectly fine. Do what suits you and your wee one hun.

    xxxx
     
    #3 russellmuscle, Jan 26, 2016
    Last edited: Jan 26, 2016
  4. Belfa

    Belfa Well-Known Member

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    Probably not a necessity but perhaps she would benefit having time away from you to make the step going to preschool at 3 a bit smaller? c
     
  5. fcroxy

    fcroxy Well-Known Member

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    Thanks for the replies.

    Neither of us are ready for her to go into childcare yet and I'm not sure she is either tbh, She is a mummys girl but then since she was 6 days old my OH has worked full time nights so it's always mainly been us two in the days whilst OH sleeps.

    People keep saying it'll give me a break as well as do her good but I don't want/need the break if I'm honest. My mum will always have her if I need to do something or go somewhere and she also goes to the in-laws every Saturday for the day, after a few hours I'm generally lost anyway because the house is so quiet lol.

    I suppose I just worry I'm being selfish because I'm not ready and holding her back. That's why I make sure we go out every week day to do some sort of activity that involves other children.

    Probably overthinking it tbh and pregnancy hormones defiantly isn't helping! X
     
    #5 fcroxy, Jan 26, 2016
    Last edited: Jan 26, 2016
  6. fcroxy

    fcroxy Well-Known Member

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    She does go to the in-laws every Saturday and occasionally stay the night, also goes to my mum's. I've only ever left her with family. I do worry about separation anxiety when the time comes for childcare x
     
  7. Lolie14

    Lolie14 Well-Known Member

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    It sounds like she is socialising really well at the moment anyway so from that view point she doesn't have a need for nursery. On the other hand though you are entitled to these 15 hours! I work in a nursery/preschool and from my view a child settles easier when they are younger. Maybe try and if its not what you both want then leave it?
     
  8. russellmuscle

    russellmuscle Well-Known Member

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    If its just the 15hrs a week it probably wont be as bad as you fear.

    Most days Jackson doesnt even look back and runs off to play because theres alot to do, plus if you have her at playgroups shes used to meeting and playing with new kids. Although despite beig at nursey 4 half days a week he can have days he doesnt wanna go and I hate it lol. He mostly loves it though.

    I Wouldnt say its selfish Id rather have been with Jackson for 3 years because from preschool its school, highschool, college, uni work. The first 3 years you can have a ball.

    But I do agree to get her school ready and esp if school is morehrs than you plan to have her in nursery then it be good for her to get into a routine.

    xxxx
     
    #8 russellmuscle, Jan 26, 2016
    Last edited: Jan 26, 2016
  9. Kay Kay

    Kay Kay Well-Known Member

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    My lo is 2 and a half and I've just put him in to private nursery one day a week. He is due his free place in August but I wanted to start him now to get him used to it. I'm part time so he has two full days with me during the week and the other three days he is with my MIL and my mum. He is quite clingy to me and had never been looked after by anyone other then family so that was part of my reasoning.

    We go to a lot of groups so he is used to being around other kids but I think just being away from me (and not with his grans) is important now and will make the transition in August a bit easier.

    Anyway of course it's up to you so do what you feel is right but it certainly doesn't sound like he's lacking anything being with you. It's just sometimes a little bit of a break from each other can be good. And you get a little bit of precious time to yourself!
     
  10. fcroxy

    fcroxy Well-Known Member

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    I suppose we could give it a try, I think if we did I'd start off on maybe one or two half days a week. Maybe having a look around some nurseries might sway me more but at the moment I just look at her and still see my little baby who I don't want to leave lol. I think it might be me with the separation issues! :lol:
     
  11. can

    can Well-Known Member

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    Hi my lo is also 2 he was 2 in January. I won't be sending him until he is 3 as I'm also a sahm. Just do what you feel is best for your family and don't listen to other people. My older son who is now 9 didn't go to nursery until he was 3 either and it was perfect timing for him. On the first day he was so excited and never had any trouble or seperation anxiety. My 2 year old isn't that confident and I don't feel it will be beneficial for him to go this early so will cherish the next year I have him all to myself as I know from experience with my 9 year old once they start nursary/school they become more and more independent and beco their own little people which is wonderful for them yet a little sad that the toddler stage is gone!! Good luck with what you decide.
     
  12. Phoenix85

    Phoenix85 Well-Known Member

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    Mine didn't do nursery at 2 either.

    My eldest was almost 3 and a half when they started nursery-school and really resisted the rules tbh (being told when to sit down and be quiet for story time etc). And they resorted to lots of bribery and stickers etc which I'm not a fan of.

    By the time my second was around 3 my eldest was 5/6 and at a Montessori school which was also a nursery. So as it was free I tried sending DD2 there a couple of mornings a week building up to 2 full days. But tbh more often than not we arrived late and left early and some days she said she wanted to stay with me so she did. In the end I cancelled her place about 6 months in to going as I didn't see the point to it and preferred being with her.

    Having experience of working in nurseries when I was younger, and helping out at the montessori nursery when my kids went, I can honestly say time with you is far more beneficial to her social and educational development than being in a daycare setting.
    Often in the 2-3yr old room there are as many as 8 toddlers to 1 adult and children are more prone to fighting over toys and vying for attention.

    I think if you want the break or need the break there is nothing wrong with using some of your entitlement (and you are not obliged to use the full 15 hours, you can choose to just use one morning or one full day or two afternoons etc). But if you do not need that break or the childcare I fully believe toddlers do better at home with their parents or relatives.

    You are entitled to 15+ free hours until the term after your child turns 5, so there is plenty of time to put them in nursery at 3/4 etc if that's what you want to do to help prepare them for school etc (which, incidentally, you can defer school starting age until the term after their 5th birthday.)
    Looking at your ticker, your toddler was born in November/December, so will be almost 5 by the time they would be starting school anyway. In which case if you chose to start nursery at 4 that would be plenty early enough to 'prepare' for starting school 10 or so months later. No need to start that preparation now at 2.

    Congratulations on the bump btw.
     
  13. Ella1979

    Ella1979 Well-Known Member

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    I don't think there's any need to send her at 2 if you don't need or want to. My daughter was looked after by my mum before I got pregnant with my son, then I was at home for 13 months on mat leave - daughter finally went to nursery just before she turned 3 and absolutely loved it! She had no problems settling in and made loads of friends. Personally I would leave it as long as possible! Especially as you already go to lots of groups - she wouldn't get anything more from nursery.
     
  14. fcroxy

    fcroxy Well-Known Member

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    Thanks for the replies.

    I think we'll leave it for another couple of months and then have a talk about it again, but at the time being there's so rush. Just got me thinking as people keep asking if she's in nursery yet! Xx
     
  15. Elfs Mummy

    Elfs Mummy Well-Known Member

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    My daughter started when she was two even though I was a sahm. She loved it she started in a class of 8 with three teachers as it was a new pre school and it was fantastic they had loads of resources and she was so happy to go there even now she begs to go back there. She has three friends that they've done the whole way through together and they're really close which is lovely to see. She went to school able to sit and listen and the transition has generally been pretty easy. I think it's all about finding the right setting for yourself and your daughter :) x
     
  16. babybee

    babybee Well-Known Member

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    I've done the same as you. She'll be starting pre-school in September when she's 3 and a half. She's no more or no less sociable than her friends who have gone to nursery from a young age. The same goes for general development, she's pretty much on par. Like you I do other things with her like groups and classes. I don't think it does them any harm to stay at home till then.
     

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