Not sure where to post this. Feel really sad and upset right now.

[LoopyLouize]

I am sorry if this offends anybody but I need somewhere to write this.

I have realised today that I am at my witts end, I really am.

I am always alone with LO, it's not that OH doesn't help it's that he isn't here. He works away. I have a lovely group of friends who are all the same age as me and we have LO's of the same age who we visit each other 2 or 3 times a week... This is what I think has caused my feelings more than anything... Will explain why further on...

Right from the word go H has been nothing but hard work, off course I expected becoming a mummy to be hard work but what I didn't expect was 22 hours worth of crying a day! I started my resentful feelings at this point if I'm honest. To make it worse, she's never been any better as the weeks have gone on.. She constantly cries and cries and cries, she has a bath, she cries, she has a bottle, she cries, she goes to bed, she cries, she is in her pram she cries, she is in the car, she cries..She's in my arms, she cries. I feel utterly and massively useless. I can't leave my house in fear of pissing people off with the constant crying.

My friends have babies, one week older, one week younger, 4 weeks younger and 8 weeks younger who we see on a regular basis and I swear they are the most happy contented babies and do nothing but coe and smile and look at there mummies with love and affection. I get nothing but screaming paddys and red eyes with tears streaming.

I am sick of the constant battles, the biggest one being that she will not take her bottle at all, she screams through annoyance I'm giving it to her but then screams at being hungry!

She is barely sleeping during the day and is restless during the night and has me up all night now, not to be fed mind, just because she's never in a deep sleep and is being bothered by something.

I sound like such a bad person I know, and trust me I can't feel any worse about how I feel. I feel like utter shit. I'm rarely feel like eating and it's not just because I rarely feel like it, it's because I don't get a minute to myself, when I do get a minute I don't want that time be stolen just to eat! I want to just sit and have a moment to myself! (now for example).

I feel worse when I see my friends babies, I love them all to bits and the little ones, I just feel nothing but sadness and envy when they leave! It's constant, Awww H never does that or me justconstantly trying to console H whilst they visit!

Today we met at mine and 2 friends brought ther little ones, on baby being 17 weeks and the other is 15 weeks, they did nothing but smile and just be typical little babies who make you melt... They played with all H's toys and appreciated them and interacted, i couldn't help but compare how they where to H and think "she doesn't do that, she never smiles, she never plays like that, god if I put her on her play mayt she screams etc etc"

When everybody left and H was yet again throwing a massive tantrum I just broke down and cried, I still am now I'm giving myself a headache through crying so much.

I love my little girl to bits, I really do! I just can't help but feel nothing but sadness when I look at her now.

I just want her to be happy

 

[tinkerbell86]

Have you tried different bottles or formula? What about a nightlight/ lightshow to settle her? My lo didn't like the dark when he was young but now he loves it being dark which can be hard in this weather!

Sometimes letting them learn to self settle is the best thing. I hated it but my lo was fine after a couple of times.

Sorry if you've tried any of these just trying to give an option.

 

[LoopyLouize]

Yeah I have tried many different formulas,bottles and teats and none make a difference.

I tried to self settle, it doesn't make a difference, she cries regardless of if I hold her and give her constant attention or even if I leave her to her own devices.

It's ok, don't apologise, your only giving me ideas I appreciate it x

 

[LoopyLouize]

Oh and we have black out blinds and a cot mobile with a nightlight so again, doesn't work xxx

 

[Jaxx01]

First things first, please, please don't be so hard on yourself! It's a tough job hun and you've done the hardest thing by holding your hands up and saying what you've said!

Have you taken her to the doctor? She could be screaming because of reflux or colic??

You are certainly not alone in feeling like this hunni, I have stanley who is 6 ninths and currently on his 4th constant hour of crying through teething and my 4 year old who is quite demanding!! I sometimes want to just hide in the cupboard lol

I really hope you get things sorted, there is light at the end of the tunnel xxx

 

[LaurenMM]

Oh hun I'm so sorry I really have no experience with this. Please don't think you're a terrible person or mummy. You're doing the best you can for you and little H. God I only have a difficult baby come naptime so I can't imagine what you're going through all day long I was really sad to read this because I know how must feel and you seem so nice I'm sorry the only thing I can suggest is maybe speaking to GP or HV and explaining how it's making you feel? Really sorry you're going through this xxxxxxxxxx

 

[hellywelly]

I think what you could really do with right now is a hug and a break from it all. I can oblige with a cyber hug and wish I could come and give you the break as well. You aren't a bad mummy at all, just tired with a baby that is more difficult than others. I felt the same when E didn't smile til she was nearly 8 weeks and everyone on here said theirs were at 5 weeks! I do wonder if you could ask for help from your GP or health visitor because crying 22 hours a day doesn't seem right, even for a grouchy baby. Not sure what else to suggest but wanted to let you know I was listening and that this is the toughest job in the world - don't be too hard on yourself. xxx

 

[ISH]

You have been incredibly strong, I would have broken down on day two!

Can't you get someone to babysit at all, even an hour would make a difference

 

[Elliellie]

Big hugs. I'm so sorry you're going through this. Constant crying is awful, I know it can send you potty & do all sorts to your emotions. Do you know what's causing it? Does she have reflux or something? I'm sorry I don't have any advice, just felt really sad reading your post as must be so hard to deal with so much crying, especially on your own. I know what you mean about friends making you feel awful too, Isaac sleeps really badly & all my friends babies have slept through since a few weeks old. Things will improve though, she will get easier to distract & play more. Sorry it's so tough & don't feel bad at all, we're here for you to moan to! XxX

 

[vickib_1984]

lou you are not a failure, you are not a bad mummy, you are a mummy who is being pushed to the limits by a baby who has suffered from birth. have you stopped all her meds now???? how is the weaning going???? is your hv giving you enough support or yur family for that matter???? xxxx

 

[Maria1977]

I'm sorry that you're having a tough time, really sounds like LO is struggling with something.

Don't worry about things like playing with toys or play mat though, Oz hated his play mat, with a passion, never ever once enjoyed it! And he wasn't really interested in toys til he was about 4.5-5 months old. Now nothing holds him back though.

It does seem like there is something though, have you been referred to a paedeatrician (sp?)? If not, i would request this and ask for testing of everything. Reflux, hearing, eye sight, reflexes etc everything and just get each thing elimnated.

She may well be very anxious, it's so hard to know at her age. She might very well change and grow out of the crying over the new few months.

I do feel for you though, hearing your baby cry is the hardest thing in the world, esp when you feel so helpless and don't know what to do to help them.

You def need a break, from each other. Does your OH step in when he's home? I think a day off/night off on a regular basis, not a one-off, would do you the world of good, and would probalby benefit LO too as she probalby picks up on your stress and worries too.

Massive

 

[littlemiss83]

Louise - that couldve been me writing that exact thing about 3 months ago. Kayden was constant with crying, constant...no joke, I cried & cried & wondered what i'd done, I turned into a bit of a monster tbh, it changed me a bit. But once he got his reflux controlled he was ok, I know that your not sure if your LO has got reflux or not, but still the crying is....omg its horrible isn't it. I couldn't leave either. And I walked about thinking why is everyone else's baby not crying constant, look how happy mum is..i'd love to be happy for a while. Kayden still crys quite alot but not as much, he cries constant when he gets hungry, and he cries constant when he gets tired, in between isn't as bad.

Duno what to suggest but I really think there is something underlying with LO & I know how hard it is with hospital appointments & stuff, but...I duno, would you consider visiting a private doctor, who could maybe prescribe better meds or CMA formula (this stuff helps babies that dont have CMA too, you dont need to have CMA to use it) You can also buy this stuff online I think w/out prescription (seen it but never bought it)

I really hope you get answers, coz yeah its bloody difficult the first cpl of months but it should start getting better for you around now. Which is whats making me think LO is in pain

xxxxxxxxx

 

[DW1978]

Oh hun, I'm so sorry you are feeling so low. You are a fantastic mummy so please don't beat yourself up for admitting you need help. I think you should definitely speak to your hv about how you ate feeling and try and get them to find out why h is so sad all the time. Huge (((hugs))) xxx

Sent from my HTC Wildfire using Tapatalk 2

 

[Sleepy sue]

Hi Hun don't be down on yourself you do an amazing job with her. It's totally understandable that you've had a melt down tbh I think I would have before now!

I've seen plenty of piccies of your beautiful girl and she's stunning you should be so proud. I bet all your friends have their moments too they just don't say!

Are you waiting for a consultants appointment?
Lots of hugs for you x x

 

[becciboo26]

I'm sorry you ate feeling so bad sweetheart, I don't really have any advice but also sending you a cyber hug xxxxx

Sent from my HTC Wildfire S A510e using Tapatalk 2

 

[LoopyLouize]

Wow! So many replies of support! Thank you all so much!

I don't mean to be ignorant but I will reply to you all after the my takeway delivery has been lol!

I ordered a takeaway as I am starving and cannot be bothered cooking. I don't want to answer the door bawling my eyes out, I read one or two of the first replies to this and started the waterworks again! Not because you have upset me but because the words and support made me emotional!! If i read more ill cry more and ill look like a right weirdo amd Don't want to scare the driver lol.

Xxx

 

[katie_lou]

Hun I know how you feel lately I have been feeling like a crap mummy but deep down I know that I am a good mum and I'm doing my best . Ruby cried non stop the first few weeks it was that bad that some horrible bad decided to call me a bad parent on a train full of people . She did eventually get better but this past week or so she has been awful and especially of a night time . I don't really have any advice but just Remeber that you are an amazing mummy and even though things are bad now eventually they will get better .

Big hugs

Xxxx

 

[TORino]

I'm so sorry you have to go through this, it's awful the crying etc. not that it's any consolation of course but I feel EXACTLY the same as you. I wonder what I have done to deserve such a high maintenance baby!

Are you still seeing the consultant? The health visitor has insisted my baby is crying in pain and she's going to do everything she can to help me today whatever that may be

 

[Bee7]

So sorry you feel this way. Don't beat yourself up, you have nothing to apologise for. You sound like you're dealing with a lot and coping brilliantly.

Firstly, i know it's hard but you should never compare your LO to anyone elses. Everyone is guilty of seeing babies of similar ages and thinking, why isn't my LO doing that yet? Is he/she underdeveloped? Why does mine cry so much more? And so on. But the fact is that every child is different. They develop at different stages, they have different personalities and temperments and comparing them is no more productive then comparing yourself to Kate Moss and thinking 'why am i not a supermodel?'

As the other girls have said, you should probably take your LO to a doctor or speak to your HV. If you really stress to them how this is making you feel then surely they can help or put you in touch with someone who can help? Is there anyone who can have Harlow for a little while to give you a break? A good nights sleep can be like a personality transplant i find!

Really hope you get sorted hun. Remember that although things are hard at the moment, it won't last forever. She will grow out of this, it's just a matter of time. Good luck xxx

 

[Sarah13]

Awww, i really feel for you, don't know how you have coped this long. I've not read all the replys so sorry if Im repeating but have you tried a baby massage class? When used properly it can do wonders for all sorts of problems. Kynon loved our classes, didn't make him sleep but calmed and chilled us both x