Im upset :-(


Well-Known Member
Aug 17, 2006
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I just needed to talk to some people that will understand a bit better how i am feeling....

I just feel like i am no good as a mummy. I am stressed out as Charlotte doesn't seem to be settling down at all with feeding (always hungry), and feeding in the night and is bad with wind pains through the night so i am getting no sleep and feel like a zombie.

I love her bits and none of it is her fault but i feel like i am doing something wrong. I know she is only just over 6 weeks i do not expect miracles, but i also do not know what is "normal" for a 6 week old baby.

The last few days from about 5 pm till last bottle and bed (7ish) she just screams and screams and normally seems tired but will not sleep and nothing will calm her. It really upets me. SHe also still does not like being put down somewhere to sleep and screams even though its so obvious she is shattered. DO i leave her to cry and keep checking on her becasue i am worried she will never learn to settle herself if we just rock her to sleep all the time??? We can get her to sleep at bedtime without rocking her even though it often involves some screaming.

My DH is fantastic i could not ask for more, but i feel bad for him too as i am tearful, mainly cos i am so tired and feel like things wont get better. Please do not think that i dont want CHarlotte its not that at all i am just bit down, but i know i am not properly depressed.

Sorry for the rant. I just really needed to get this off my chest.

oh hun :hug: I don't have a lot to say but didn't want to leave it unanswered.

Do what feels right for you and LO - if you want to try leaving her to have a good cry and see if it works then do it as long as you're not tearing your hair out listening to it. But if she wants to be held and you're happy to do it - do it :D I've never seen a teenager who has to be held by mum to settle so I'm guessing they all grow out of it eventually.

Some babies go through a phase of crying for no reason, Josh did it at about 3 months - from 2 till about 4 each day. There was nothing wrong with him.

Can you get someone else to give you a bit of a break - even if it's only to lie in a bath in silence, or read a magazine or go for a walk.

Actually that's just reminded me - I used to put Josh in his pram and walk when he started crying - sometimes it helped, other times it just helped me :hug:

Ione is crying out right now and won't settle in her cot although we know that she must be tired, so you're not alone! In the last week Ione has got a little better over the night, going 3 or so hours between feeds instead of 2 or 2 and a half hours, I'm almost feeling human again. One night she only woke up once at 4.30am for a feed and then slept through until the morning instead of the usual grunting from 5am - joy!

I think it's important to get them to learn how to get themselves to sleep in the cot, but that's easy to say and not so easy to make happen in real life. I think the books say to go in and pick them up for a few minutes in silence to calm them down then leave them for another 5-10 minutes and carry on like that until they settle themselves. I tried to do that yesterday for an hour though and it looks like we've got the same problem tonight.
This phase can't last forever, so hang in there!! :hug:
i remember it well. it gets easier i promise, just go with your instincts the first few weeks are so hard but you'll get through it. sleep when she sleeps and be there for your OH like he should be there for you and you'll be fine. tiredness is the worst possible feeling.

:hug: :hug: :hug: :hug: :hug: :hug:
Jake used to scream every evening from about 6pm until the early hours of the morning. We started using Infacol and it started getting better then stopped when he was about 8 weeks old. It might be worth trying Infacol as it could be a bit of colic. Just remember it will get better soon. I feel for you as I can remember how tiring it was.

:hug: :hug: :hug:
Eightball- we have the grunting problem, normally after the middle of night feed-anything from 2am to 4 a.m she goes to sleep but then starts grunting which means i nknow she will wake up in the next half hour and then i am usually up for the day then. Is that similar to what happens to you??
Maybe try infacol, it might just help if its wind that it causig her to be upset, also if she has a screaming fit and won't settle wrap a blanket over her, and stand outside for a minute (if its not raining) - the wind on her face might help distract her from the upset, this always worked for me.

Hope she settles better soon for you :hug: :hug: :hug: :hug:
Awww hun, saw this just now - as usual i see these things when it has all been said! You're a lovely mum and just look at Charlotte and you will know SHE thinks you're great, and she's right!!! Big hugs, it does get better, I promise. :hug: :hug: :lol:

It does sound like colic. Ellie had this and it is awful. :hug: We found the only way she could get some relieve was being upright. The vacuum cleaner used to help distract her from the pain. We also we shown some massage techniques on her tummy by the HV which did used to help in addition to folder her knees upto her chest holding and releasing.
nikkif said:
Eightball- we have the grunting problem, normally after the middle of night feed-anything from 2am to 4 a.m she goes to sleep but then starts grunting which means i nknow she will wake up in the next half hour and then i am usually up for the day then. Is that similar to what happens to you??

Yes, for a long time she started the grunting from about 6am, about an hour after her last feed, but then it started getting earlier and earlier - sometimes starting at 3am. She starts of grunting then shouting out if you don't go over and get her. When she's done it at around 6am either me or my husband would take her into the living room and get her sitting in her chair and she'd be fine and fall asleep there (grrr).
I started Ione on infacol last week to see if it'd help and it did seem to stop the grunting in the night and we got a few good nights but on the downside it seems to make her cry out in pain in the day with wind more. The other night she started grunting again so I don't know whether it was just coincidence that the grunting went away in the first place. I'll let you know how tonight goes!
Are you trying infacol? If you are we can compare notes! :D
When Isaac was little he was unsettled and windy so we changed his forumla to cow and gate omnio comfort and used infacol and it worked wonders with him! He slept through from 6 weeks and no endless crying fits.

Lou :D
The first few weeks are the hardest because you and baby are still getting to know each other and trying to get some sort of routine in your day to day life. From experience I would say you rocking her off to sleep would do more harm than good, as babies arent silly and she will get used to it so when you do put her down to sleep she will get upset. If she's hungry still then could you not try the milk for hungrier babies? its thicker and takes longer to digest meaning she wouldnt be as hungry all the time. Im sorry my advice isn't exactly helpful but I really hope things get settled soon hun, just keep with it and try and get lots of 'you' time it does help you to relax :hug:

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