Not enough BD'ing

[AJay]

Hi girls advice and friendly words needed........
So after a miscarriage in April and a Chemical last month, the anxiety of conceiving is getting to me. Now on cd 14 and we have only managed bd once this week on cd 9. Both my husband and myself have been under the weather and not in the mood. Last night we had an early night but ended up picking at each other, which led to an argument. So the result - I sat in bed on my own, Oh on the sofa watching Glastonbury!!! I feel we have missed some crucial days but I have not yet had a positive on my ovulation testing strips and cm seems good (although I am new to all this testing and symptom spotting). Does anyone else find that the pressure of bd'ing at the right time causes friction between you and oh.

I have read that it is important to have sex on the few days leading up to ovulation so that there is a good supply of sperm to meet the egg. You would think I think I should know this having been pregnant three times

 

[scn]

Maybe you just need a month off to let both your emotions settle after your recent losses. It has caused a bit of friction in the past for me and DH, but since our loss in April, he is fully on board and has asked me loads about opk's, temping etc and realises how important the timing is so he is doing his very best to keep me happy

 

[jodie34]

Hiya i agree maybe give yourself a little break me amd hubby was really at breaking point and thought are marriage was truly over however we have sorted things out and also took the pressure off ttc no opks no phone app just dtd wen we feelike it and most importantly have fun im so relaxed this month ive not really ss , takin the pressure off has really helped us as we were dtd to command hubby felt used wen he didnt feel like it id get in a mood so it really wasnt working for us it was putting far too much pressure and stress on us xxx

 

[Lou1103]

Me and my oh argue quite a lot during those times and the added 'pressure' is so frustrating!

I agree with scn, especially after the losses at the moment to me it seems like 'even if we do everything right it still goes wrong' and it just makes everything negative.

If you havent ov'd yet theres still hope so i wouldnt worry too much. When me and my oh got married we dtd for literally 14 days straight (including all through ov) and i didn't get pregnant lol. I personally support the 'potent' theory, when he's been away with work & i ov when he gets back i get pregnant xxx

 

[Vickilou25]

Just bd for fun not to make a baby that way he doesnt feel like hes being used as a sperm shop just because its the right time for you x

 

[AJay]

I did some research the other night on whether it is best to store up the sperm or dtd very regularly when trying to conceive.

My experience on all three pregnancies has been conception following a period abstinence (not intentionally)???

Just paid for a baby Psychic reading by Suzy Rayne
xx

 

[AJay]

Vickilou, I think that is exactly how he feels right now - a sperm shop. I have even been analysing his supplies - have they been restocked frequently enough, has he been taking his vitamins to help with the quality etc. Oh poor DH xxx

 

[Lou1103]

Haha analysing his supplies bless him!

Well then after your few days off it should work! When are you due to ov? Thats the same for me, everyday doesnt work at all!

Is that a personal reading or over the net? Xxx

 

[AJay]

I would say any day I could ovulate, I really think my cycle has changed slightly since mc. I have bought cheap testing strips for the first time (since conceiving ds) and I am testing morning and night. Although I just was not in the mood to test this morning. I usually just go with how I feel cm, boobs and a slight ache in my lower abdomen (not very scientific I know).

The reading is online - just google psychicbabyreadings by Suzy Rayne. They cost £6.25 at the moment.
There is a thread by Emilybest titled 'TTC for 2 years so I'm trying a psychic' She had a reading in May and has just got her predicted June bfp. Let me know if you do it - it takes up to three days to get your reading xxxx

 

[Lou1103]

I've only ever used those clear blue digital ones, theyre expensive so helps you resist testing twice a day

Hmmm no i wont be doing that. There's a physic event here next week but think it will depress me. Im so negative at tho mo, bfps mean nothing to me so i do think its best that we wtt. I cant resist still coming on the forum though lol xxx

 

[AJay]

Hmm, there is a very very faint line close to the control line on my o' testing strip. Next few days I suppose??

 

[Lou1103]

You should be covered if u do it today/tonight then? Xxx

 

[VickyClare]

Hi AJ,

I was just going to post a thread very similar to yours.

I feel that we have "missed the boat" too. I keep saying that timing's key to becoming pregnant and all he can say is "I don't want to book it" which really frustrates me and we have been having arguments about it

I have had positive OPKs and feel that now I'm ovulating and need some more swimmers lol but he's just getting on with his own thing while leaving me in tears of frustration and hurt.

I know exactly how you're feeling hun. Such a difficult stressing time (especially for me as I'll be 38 in October and know that my clock is ticking)

Take care and hope that you will get your BFP before too long.

Keep strong, Love n hugs Vicky x x

 

[AJay]

Thanks everyone, we are much more chilled together tonight - a glass of wine helps. I am not going to put any demands on tonight - just see how it goes xxx

scn - I think the way you involve your dh in your cycle charting is really good - it must help him feel part of the ttc planning.

xxx

 

[Iwant3]

It is hard when you know all about timing and are concious that you only have a limited window of opportunity - so you may end up DTD when you or your OH don't really feel like it - and with pressure to 'finish' etc.....

We usually only end up DTD once or twice either day before or day of ++ opk and that's it. But I have had 2 children this way and had 3 bfp's (no sticky ones yet) this time ttc.....so once is all it takes if it's not too far before O day!

 

[AJay]

The pressure is definitely a barrier and off putting. Last night was much more chilled and successful - I didn't way a word about dtd - it just happened. Hope timing was good as the pink line is brightening up on my ovulation testing strip today.
Thanks for all your words of comfort yesterday, I was having a pretty crappy start to the day yesterday after arguing on Saturday. Its amazing what a dose of sperm can do for a girlie when she is ovulating and hoping for that bfp, it brings back the 'maybe, just maybe this month, feeling'
xxx

 

[Blueflower]

When me and my oh got married we dtd for literally 14 days straight (including all through ov) and i didn't get pregnant lol. I personally support the 'potent' theory, when he's been away with work & i ov when he gets back i get pregnant xxx

We did it every day when we moved house and were convinced I was pregnant but it was just cystitis, LOL! Then on holiday we did it every day for 10 days and no luck! A couple of close friends kept saying things like "you need to relax, when you go on holiday it will happen" which was really annoying cos they expected us to come back full of baby news and were disappointed and surprised it didn't work! Grrr!

The 'potent' theory is interesting! If it coincides that could be a good one!

 

[lisey]

Oh ttc can put such pressure on bding. My OH used to get a bit worried about finishing sometimes cos be was overthinking it. I dont talk to him about anything ttc related, he has kind of caught on to when fertile time is but I think he doesnt feel any pressure cos I dont talk to him about it. I used to obsess about how many times we bd but I wont again cos last bfp was from one bd on cd 12 (ov on cd14). We did bd on cd14 too but I have a feeling it was too late. Good luck, if you havent ov'd yet you are still in the game x

 

[Lou1103]

Same with mine, i try not to talk about it with him but he knows roughly when and asks me if
I need 'topping up' sorry if thats a bit crude! I think theyre a bit like children lol if u can turn something serious into something funny they relate to it better xxx