not attached

[1sttimemum]

Hi All

This may be a bit of a taboo subject but i need to discuss it with people who may understand.

This timing of this pregnancy was not planned, ALL through this pregnancy i have felt guilty about the people who cannot have children and it accidentilly happened to us.

I have also felt very distant from the baby inside me. Ive had two scans and seen that there is a baby inside me, ive heard the heartbeat loads of times. Yet i dont feel any closer to it. We havent bought much stuff for the baby yet and have lots to do before the baby is here! Im not excited about being pregnant but im not hating it.

I dont look pregnant and dont feel it. I feel the baby kick and TBH it doesnt make me feel gooy or happy - i just feel empty. I'm dreading the birth although trying not to think about it.

I just dont no what to do. I feel like i should be xcited an giddy and everything else, but im not and didnt no who else to come to.

My OH says that cos im always on this site and through books and mags and films, i feel like i should be feeling a certain emotion but that isnt always the case.

I guess i am scared i am not bonding with the baby.....

Help?!

 

[Suzie and Faith]

First of all have some hugs
I don't think you're alone at all, pregnancy is a scary time, mine wasn't planned either and I also feel the guilt you talk about - feeling like it's unfair on others that I get a baby I didn't ask for.

There is ante/pre natal depression in the same way that there is post natal depression, it's just less commonly talked about. Try googling it for more info. There are some organisations with helplines and I think that you can also conact general people like the Samartians.

Maybe speak to your midwife/gp too, they may be able to put you in touch with a support group or may suggest some way of helping you.

I know it's tough, and there's nothing to say those feelings won't appear at some point and it doesn't make you a bad person at all.

Take care of yourself, talk to people, and have some more

P.S I'm always here if you want to chat, PM me

 

[libs]

Please please don't feel guilty about people who struggle to have babies - there aren't a set number of babies to be born in the world so you haven't taken a baby away from anyone.

Some women don't connect with their baby through pregnancy, it isn't "real" yet. You are bound to be unsettled and anxious if this wasn't planned and means a lot of big life changes for you.

Make sure you tell someone in real life how you're feeling - and let them support you so that if it is the start of depression you have someone watching out for you and supporting you

 

[Tillytots]

wanted to send you lots of hugs hun

 

[Tick-Tock]

I just wanted to post and give you some

I had a miscarriage last year, and therefore I'm panicing at every stage of this pregnancy... I feel like i should be excited but I can't be and I think it's because I'm scared it'll all go wrong again.... In a way i can't really believe there is ever going to be a baby at the end of it and so feel quite detached from it.

I know this isn't the same as your situation, but I just wanted to post and let you know that we all have different feelings towards our pregnancies.... There is no textbook on feelings and we just have to manage the best we can...

J
XX

 

[Geordie&Bairn]

AH Hon
Dont feel guilty at all
everyone as a diffrent level of emotion in pregnancy some of the chart sone sedated and calm.
You have nothing to feel bad or sorry about
the baby is still inside of you you havnt met yet and really had a chance tog et to know each other face to face.
And that is strange not to know the face of the baby you carry.
I sometimes fel a bit funny and worry i'll bond and baby will love me.
Id take babybees advice and see if there is a support group near by that you can really explore and talk about you feelings.
Im sure this will help.

As you know im always hear to chat about anything PM email or text me when ever you need to.
Mabye you just need non baby time for a while spoil your self for a bit.#
Lol Sarah xxxxxxx

 

[Kimbo]