normal to feel like this?

[chellieboo]

We recently had what is classed as a biochemical pregnancy following an IVF cycle. I just can't seem to move on properly. After 2 years TTC I finally thought we had done it, only for it to be taken from us a few days later.

I can't get the date the baby would have been due out of my head and I can't stop thinking about what could have been had it been a sticky BFP.

is it normal to feel like this or am I over-reacting?

Does anyone have any advice to help me move on and stop thinking about what at the end of the day was only a small bundle of cells?

 

[Slinky Sarah]

hun im sosorry this happened...i conceived naturally both times and lost but to go through IVF and then it happen must be horrible


I still cant get either of my babies out of my head either i think its normal to think of your children though tbh. It may have been a bundle of cells hun but that was your baby, you need to grieve for your loss ok.

Cry, scream, anything you need to help, even if it is thinking it was a bundle of cells, if it helps you process things thats the main thing ok.

Here anytime if you need a chat

 

[chellieboo]

Thanks

that really helps. I worry that i'm being pathetic for it to be affecting me so much, and that I'm overreacting to what has happened.

I do still picture it as our baby, and think that is possibly why I am finding it hard to move on, and while I can be objective about when talking or typing about it being a bundle of cells thats not how i really feel if that makes sense.

I can't imagine ever being pregnant again, or being excited about it.

I'm so relieved that there is at least one person out there who doesn't think i'm a weirdo for feeling like this.

I am so sorry for your losses

 

[*sara*]

Hi im so sorry for your loss, I had my son 8 yrs ago through IVF (ICSI) luckily for me it worked and he stuck, so i know the stress of fertility treatment, i have since married a new partner and we have been trying for a number of yrs for a baby, we have fallen pregnant twice this yr and i have miscarried both times, so i also understand what it is like to suffer a miscarriage. I too have been thinking about my due dates and in sept will be the due date of my first miscarriage and keep thinking i should have a baby soon but of course i wont , i find that you dont get over a miscarriage but it does get easier to cope with. Im here if you want to chat Sara xx

 

[mrs_metal]

I think what you're feeling is perfectly normal, I still cry for my baby, not every day like it was at first but at least once a week, and can't get the due date (24th aug) out of my head, the closer I get to that date the harder it's getting, especially as I'm not pregnant again yet.

You need to mourn your loss, no matter what stage your pregnancy was, it was still your baby and you'll always love it. I think with time it will get easier.

 

[chellieboo]

I'm so pleased I finally plucked up the courage to post this.

thanks so much for the reassurance that how i feel is ok and normal.

 

[mum2be?]

hun i felt totally the same with i had my m/c last year,

we were lucky that i was due to go on holdiay so went away with oh for 10 days to get my head together. This helped me very much,

But all i can say that i always think about what if, more for the first 3 months then i always thought about it but never effected me as much until the due date was comming after this date i relaxed again. there will always be moments when you will think more, but you are only just starting the emotions and its perfectly normal

here to chat if you need

 

[Anna23]

oh hun it's totaly normal

 

[rusks]

i have no idea how you must be feeling but its not something that can easily be forgotten hunny, thinking of you xx

 

[Becky]

What you're feeling is completely normal!! You've suffered a loss and need time to greive. Anyone who has lost knows how you're feeling and has felt the same. You have to give your self time to come to terms with what happened. Unfortunately it never goes away but over time you learn how to deal with it so that it doesn't interefere with everyday life.

The main thing is to give yourself time and not to have any expectations of when you'll feel a bit better about it, everyone is different.

 

[emeraldsroses]

I'm so sorry for your loss Of course it's normal to feel the way you do. When I lost my son, I couldn't get his due date out of my head either. To make it worse, he was supposed to be born on my 35th birthday. So this year I didn't celebrate my birthday only because it was supposed to be his birthday.

Becky is right, though. You need to give yourself time to process your grief. It's going to be a (long) journey but over time it will get easier to cope. Sending you lots of

 

[tracey 2]

im sorry for your loss of course its normal to feel like this hun you are grieving for your child and thats the most natural thing ever so follow your emotions let it out when you want to

here if you need to chat

 

[chellieboo]

Thankyou so much girls. I am so relieved that you are all here

 

[puppylove]

Hey hun yip i feel its very normal to feel what ur feeling like the other girls ive been feeling it also, with dates its hard to look into the future as those dates that should of been very very special will never go away, ur in my thoughts