No idea what to do!

[freespirit29]

My heart goes out to you Hun and I'm so do sorry.
I had to make a similar decision 16 yrs ago with my first. He was diagnosed ith Down syndrome which was a shock but acceptable. We went to Cardiff Hosp where we had further tests which showed his heart was deformed, kidneys weren't working and various other abnormalities. We were advised that if we continued the pregnancy he would more than likely not survive the full term and if he did then he'd have a 95% chance of being born still. We saw so many people and I think those three weeks of my life were a horrid blur. We then were told on the last lot of test that even if little one carried full term and survived birth there was little or no hope of survival of the amount of operations he'd have to endure.
After our hearts breaking we came to the decision that it would be kinder to our lo to end the pregnancy.
The whole experience was dreadful and it's only been the past three yrs I can visit his grave without crying.
My heart goes out to you hun. It's a terrible situation and only you and your hubby can reach any decision you make. I am thinking of you both xxxx

 

[fao]

Have any of you ever experienced a birth where the baby is unable to breathe due to undeveloped lungs? I'm not sure what to expect. Will he be in pain/suffering?

I don't have experience. I can only imagine the physical effects. Sorry I can't say anything to reassure you. Maybe talk to your doctor about this. Maybe there are steps they can do to reduce any pain or suffering? Make sure you find out all you can about what to expect. Don't let them fob you off or make decisions for you about your baby.

 

[Mackmummy]

Have any of you ever experienced a birth where the baby is unable to breathe due to undeveloped lungs? I'm not sure what to expect. Will he be in pain/suffering?

There was a case like this on or born every minute last monday, I don't know if the issues are exactly the same so I don't want to get your hopes up or anything. But the baby had problems with his bladder which had pushed all the internal organs into is lungs, this emant his lmgs were extremely under developed, he was given hours to live following birth if he survived at all. Long story short, he did survive and went home fourteen weeks later. He does have to have dialysis every day but other than that functions normally and looked a happy little kid. Was balling my eyes out. Hope everything turns out ok for you, I really do xxx

 

[Applecrumble]

I am so sorry for your situation (((hugs)))....

The consultant has advised you what they believe is best for you and for baby... I personnaly would request get a second opinion (you are entitled to) If they both concur I would try and accept that the baby will not survive.

If you can accept that and are ready to say good bye at 32 weeks... take the induction as that will put you in the heathliest place for future pregnancies and easier to emotion... Hope where no hope exists is ultamately more painfull, I would seek another medical opinion.

That said.. that is just my opinion and can not imagine what you are going through xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx support is here though if and when you need it

 

[mishi]

Have any of you ever experienced a birth where the baby is unable to breathe due to undeveloped lungs? I'm not sure what to expect. Will he be in pain/suffering?

There was a case like this on or born every minute last monday, I don't know if the issues are exactly the same so I don't want to get your hopes up or anything. But the baby had problems with his bladder which had pushed all the internal organs into is lungs, this emant his lmgs were extremely under developed, he was given hours to live following birth if he survived at all. Long story short, he did survive and went home fourteen weeks later. He does have to have dialysis every day but other than that functions normally and looked a happy little kid. Was balling my eyes out. Hope everything turns out ok for you, I really do xxx

I was just about to post almost the exact same post!! I watched it too. I know each case is different, but I would definitely be getting a second opinion from a Senior Fetal Medicine Consultant.

So sorry you are going through all of this.

xxxx

 

[mum2b410]

I wish I had some advice or something of use to say to u hun but I wanted to extend my sympathy to u and your OH. Its an awful situation to be in and I truly hope that u all go through the least pain and suffering possible *hugs* xxxx

 

[buggy1]

I'm in a similar situation, our baby is missing a vital part of the brain and has something wrong with its spine, it would be unlikely to go to term, or live very long if it did. I wouldn't want the baby to be born and suffer, at the same time I don't want to give birth to a stillborn baby, it is a very tough place to be and the decision is virtually impossible to come to.

We just have to go with what we think is best for them and for us, if you know something is seriously wrong x

 

[storestore]

Hi, everyone. I've been reading all of your responses and am happy to share that we did get a second opinion. What I was wanting was not false hope, but a doctor that was willing to work with us and our desire to do everything we could for our baby regardless of the odds. He told us "Your baby is without fluid but he is not without a brain, or kidneys, or another vital organ that would guarantee a zero percent chance." He went on to say "We are doctors but we have our limitations." So he suggested that if we choose to give the benefit of the doubt, the best time to deliver would be 34 weeks which is in a week and a half. Now, we are still fully prepared to bury our baby when he is born. I even went out and bought him the outfit I would like him to wear when that time comes. BUT, at least I know I have done everything I can as a mom to give him the best chance. Will keep you all posted.

 

[keeptrying14]

Just wanted to say thinking of you and keep positive ur doing an amazing job. Keep us updated xx

 

[mum2b410]

Aww hunny- u r being so brave! I am v pleased u got a second opinion! Wish u and your little one the very best hun......we r all on here should u need us- whatever the outcome xx

 

[HL28]

Thinking of you all. Xxxx

 

[chickadee1990]

Just read through this post and it really does sound heartbreaking, but I wish you the best of luck and your in my prayers. Xxxx

 

[Vixx]

Hi, everyone. I've been reading all of your responses and am happy to share that we did get a second opinion. What I was wanting was not false hope, but a doctor that was willing to work with us and our desire to do everything we could for our baby regardless of the odds. He told us "Your baby is without fluid but he is not without a brain, or kidneys, or another vital organ that would guarantee a zero percent chance." He went on to say "We are doctors but we have our limitations." So he suggested that if we choose to give the benefit of the doubt, the best time to deliver would be 34 weeks which is in a week and a half. Now, we are still fully prepared to bury our baby when he is born. I even went out and bought him the outfit I would like him to wear when that time comes. BUT, at least I know I have done everything I can as a mom to give him the best chance. Will keep you all posted.

You are such an inspiration. When the time comes you will know you have done as much as you could have and that the outcome is taken out of your hands. I really do hope everything works out for you and your OH, and this forum is here to support you either way.

Wishing you all the best for next week xxx

 

[Angelone]

Wishing u all the best and miracles do happen xo

 

[Ashbee]

Hi, everyone. I've been reading all of your responses and am happy to share that we did get a second opinion. What I was wanting was not false hope, but a doctor that was willing to work with us and our desire to do everything we could for our baby regardless of the odds. He told us "Your baby is without fluid but he is not without a brain, or kidneys, or another vital organ that would guarantee a zero percent chance." He went on to say "We are doctors but we have our limitations." So he suggested that if we choose to give the benefit of the doubt, the best time to deliver would be 34 weeks which is in a week and a half. Now, we are still fully prepared to bury our baby when he is born. I even went out and bought him the outfit I would like him to wear when that time comes. BUT, at least I know I have done everything I can as a mom to give him the best chance. Will keep you all posted.

I wish you all the luck in the world, i am praying for your baby

x

 

[Mackmummy]

Still keeping everything crossed for the best possible outcome, you are coping brilliantly, stay strong xxx

 

[storestore]

Well, it's been two months since our story finally came to an end. Our baby boy Dominic was born on June 2nd weighing 6lbs 7 oz at at 36 weeks gestation. He came out kicking a screaming, his hands in tight fists like any other baby. But, as was expected, his lungs were not developed enough to function once the umbilical cord was cut. We made the unfortunate decision to invite NICU team to try some interventions in case there was a chance that he could live. I regret this terribly. He lived for 4 hours on oxygen before we turned it off and let Dominic go. Thank you all for your support while I was on this journey.

 

[mum2b410]

I am so incredibly sorry for your loss hunny......bless your little angel Dominic- im sure he is at peace now. Don't blame yourself for wanting the drs to try- you wanted your boy to live- any parent would! If u hadn't you would be asking 'what if?' I hope that u are able to get through this somehow with the support of friends and family. Wish there was something more I could say xxxx

 

[Wrighty]

i am so so sorry for your loss i can't even imagine how terrible and tough it must have been, you really are an inspiration. Lots of Hugs and Love xxxxxxx

 

[Smr]

So sorry for your loss.