Night time crying

[Mildly]

Oscar seems to sleep really well during the day, he'll often fall asleep after a feed and then I just transfer him to him travel cot and prop him up against his V pillow. He'll quite often slide off and find his own position, normally on his side where he'll sleep for hours.

Come night time we feed him and wait for him to drop off to sleep. The last couple of days he has been fighting sleep and keeping his eyes open and then crying because he is obviously overtired. We've tried a dummy which will help him drop off then we take him upstairs and put him in his moses basket. Then he seems to thrash about knocking the dummy out of his mouth and then he starts screaming until we pick him up and put him in or bed with us. He will then whinge and still try to stay awake until he eventually falls asleep on one of us. Then we try to put him back in his moses basket and the whole thing starts over again.

I am almost at my wits end. Now OH is back at work, I feel so guilty that this is waking him up and making him tired during the day. He is great and helps try to settle Oscar at least 50% of the time, if not more. I also hate the co-sleeping, we've being forced into doing. I can't sleep properly and it just feels wrong to me that he is in our bed (sorry I don't mean to offend those who co-sleep, it just isn't for me). The whole situation is making me really weepy, at night and during the day.

Does anyone have any solutions or are we stuck like this until he gets a bit older? We've tried a hot water bottle/our clothes/breast pads in the basket. The end is elevated too and we've tried swaddling.

Also the other thing is everyone else I know in real life doesn't seem to have a baby that cries loads like we do. Is it just just something that parents don't mention or am I in the minority with a whinging, crying baby?

 

[LisaJ1986]

Got no advice i'm afraid as i have this issue too at the moment.
So i sympathise

 

[Mildly]

Thanks for the reply, 's to you too.

Just out of interest, has your LO been like this since birth or is it more of a recent phase?

 

[clarey]

Oh hun, it sounds to me like he just has his days and nights confused still, it took Eva a little while to make nighttime when she slept most, I am sure he will sort it out soon. It is exhausting but it honestly wont last forever. Does he sleep in his moses during the day? We used to put Eva in hers a lot and I think it kind of acted as a cue for sleep, dont know what else to suggest Im afraid but big to you x

 

[purple13]

as clarey says, he's just got night and day a bit muddled still - it took connor ages for his body clock to match ours, in fact he was about 4 months old before it really sank in.

what you've posted is exactly what we went through, with LO lying on your chest as you try and get some sleep - any sleep!

all i can say is that it will pass! make daytime naps in a loud bright environment and keep nighttime dark and quiet; he'll get the idea eventually

don't write co-sleeping off immediately; i hadn't really intended it, but there are a lot of benefits not least to mention the ease of nighttime feeds.

try and nap when he does during the day, and get OH to sleep somewhere else at night (spare room/sofa) if he's really struggling.

 

[Sherlock]

I'd say he is nowhere near his bodyclock recognising day and night and atm is just sleeping when tired. He'll slowly adjust but it won't happen anytime soon.

Also don't forget newborn babies just want to be close to you. Hear your heartbeat, smell you and so on. They just don't understand being left on their own in the early weeks. A few are ok with it but most want to live on you and be cuddled. Its perfectly natural to them and they don't understand being apart from you. To him you and he are one person.

I remember most nights I simply sat in bed cuddling Galen and feeding him inbetween on my boob. This went on for about 3 weeks. IIRC you are breast feeding but giving a formula feed at bedtime? I'd be inclined to give him the boob before bed rather than a bottle for a few reasons a) its familiar and more natural to him b) being close to you skin on skin is calming and he can dreamfeed.

But what you are epxeriencing is normal and will ease as time passes. Once his bodyclock starts to register he'll find his own pattern. Daytime sleeps with noise and so on and bedtime and night dim and quiet. Over time he'll get used to this and he'll find his own sleep time at night. My guess is as he is cuddled up to the V pillow in the day he is more cosy and therefore sleeping better. At night he is then going into a flat basket on a pretty firm mattress. I know which one I'd prefer. I'd keep him flat for all sleeps tbh. He has no need to be propped up for sleeps in the day. You may find he won't settle as well in the day if laying flat and minus a cuddly pillow. I'd be inclined to use the moses basket for day and night time and simply move it back upstairs at night. Its more snug and cosy than a big travel cot and hopefully as he gets used to daytime sleeps in it he'll get better at nighttime also.

 

[Geordie&Bairn]

have your tried music we played classical music andit worked a treat Collier would listen to the music and fall alseep quite swiftly
and we only used the moses basket and now the oct for night time slep he used the bouncer chair for daytime sleeps
so when we put him in the moses basket now cot he knows its time for a longer sleep/night time
Id breastfeed Collier laying on the bed an he would fall asleep afterwards then id place him in the cot
if he woke in the night id just pop the music back on and hey presto it calmed him down
i hope things settle soon hun

 

[Sherlock]

Music is always good. Something soothing as sarah said.

We got a mobile and LO loves it. Used it from about 4-5 weeks iirc.

 

[Redshoes]

I do hope Oscar's settled down a little for you Mildly
On the topic of music, we used wave sounds with Isaac and they worked for a time, there's also the option of a light cot mobile, as you'll know, LO's love lights

 

[LisaJ1986]

Thanks for the reply, 's to you too.

Just out of interest, has your LO been like this since birth or is it more of a recent phase?

This is a recent phase. Been going on a bit over 2 weeks.

 

[DaisyRose]

Hiya,

It all sounds very familar!!! He'll settle down as he gets older - the first few weeks are very tough as they make the transition from being inside you to being out in the big world.

Now Ruby is a bit older I have the opposite problem - she crys a lot in the daytime as I'm so busy with the other two girls as well that I simply cannot hold her all the time (and she is now too heavy to have in the sling for lengthy periods). I tend to move her around with me in her bouncer, or sometimes she likes to kick about on the floor in her play nest or on a blanket.

Just give it time and gradually introduce the basket (I started with just a couple of hours at night as my OH is out long hours at work too and needs his sleep). Also, if you haven't already, you could try putting the basket very close to your bed so he can hear you and feel that you're close. I've also always done what a couple of others have suggested - I've always kept the basket upstairs for night sleeping so that they make the connection: basket = it's night time - time for sleep. I do put Ruby to sleep in it sometimes during the day though if I feel she is getting overtired and the girls are waking her. Funnily enough she rarely settles in it during the day though which is pretty amazing considering she sleeps for up to 7 hours overnight.

Good luck, it does get better.

 

[maybebaby]

Austin would only sleep in his moses basket when I put a pillow in for him to sleep on! He just didn't like the mattress, I think it was too hard for him. Maybe that's why your LO will sleep on the v-pillow but not in his basket?

Oh and of course babies cry hun, your friends' babies will too it might just be they don't talk about it. Your LO sounds perfectly normal

 

[Mildly]

Thanks for all your suggestions, things have been better now that we are using a dummy in conjunction with putting him down. He seems to want to comfort suck a lot. At the moment he does often lose the dummy and starts crying but I think that is down to his tongue tie. He does seem to be realising that at night time he should be sleeping for longer though which is good. We will look into a musical or light mobile for him too, he does seem very aware of things so it won't be long before he gets interested in those sorts of things. He likes music in the car, or maybe it is just the car's rocking motion and his bouncer chair has ocean/wave sounds on it.

There was a bit of a blip last night as he has a sore throat and is a bit snuffly and so screamed for most of the night but he sounds better today so fingers crossed he'll have a better night tonight

I guess I've found out that I have no patience for lack of sleep and that I was horribly unprepared for the newborn stage. It is reassuring to hear that it is normal though, thank you for your stories and advice

 

[Sandi4Paul]

i remember that period. like you we didn't want to co-sleep, that lasted about 5 nights and then we gave in, but when he was fast asleep we moved him to moss basket so he woke up there in the morning.


trust me everyone's babies cry that often.


Sandi