New to this, advice please...

[Joey2011]

Hi Ladies,

I'm completely new to this so forgive my ignorance!

This is my 5th month of TTC (this is the only acronym I know!) and although that's not long, my husband and I haven't used protection for over ten years.

I've always been career driven and so far this year three very close friends have had miscarriages and so that's made me have a whole new perspective as I now realise that TTC is only the start of it. For the first time in my life I've listened to my heart and I do want a family and so I've decided not to put it off any longer.

Since January I've convinced myself naively that each month I was pregnant and it's all I think about and this is so not like me. My husband is great and very supportive but I just don't know how I'm going to stay sane throughout this process.

Any help, advice or support would be a huge help. Just to know someone else feels, or has felt the way I do would be a comfort.

X

 

[racha]

i know what you mean i have been trying for a few months and each time i get excited its hard not to and easy to convince yourself x

 

[jarjar81]

Hi Hun...welcome!!
Me and my OH have been trying since Jan 2010 with no success. About 3 months in I was about 12 days late, convinced myself I was PG and couldn't believe how easy it was...then I came on and was heartbroken. We have been using no contraception now for about 5 years. The way I look at it is that TTC is one of the hardest things you can do but what a reward you get at the end!! Stick with it hun. The past year or so have been really hard for us and we've had many rows due to the pressure etc...the only thing I can suggest is sex sex sex!! My OH has such a low sex drive which is why, even though we've been trying so long, I wont go to the Doctors yet cos I know the first thing they'll ask is how often do you have sex...when I turn round and say 'I'm lucky if its once a week' they'll laugh me out of the surgery!! Good luck hun! xxxxx

 

[secrethope]

Hi Hun, I'm in exactly the same position, career has come first and now i'm letting ttc take over my life. I had a negative test today which means I'll be on to cycle 6 any day now.

So many people here feel the same as you so ask anything, share anything and whinge as much as you want. It's a bloody frustrating time but we'll all get there in the end.

xxx

 

[racha]

its great here

 

[Joey2011]

Thank you all so much! I just never thought that (a) I'd want a family and (b) that I'd turn into a nut job in the process! I'm quite sensitive to pain in the pelvic area as I have cysts and a fibroid, all have been checked out and they're ok but they do cause me to have abdominal pain, nausea etc which I have confused with implantation etc. I've read far too much already and this hasn't helped!

I feel like I've made new friends already! Thanks for taking the time to reply!

I just hope this forum is accessible through my iPhone as I'm 'working' from home today and am sure I'll need my daily fix!

X

 

[Joey2011]

secrethope, I'm really sorry about your negative today, forgot to mention that x

 

[vickib_1984]

hi and welcome good luck through your ttc story and everyone on here are so nice xxxx

 

[racha]

your welcome its a good place to talk and make friends.sorry about the negative secrethope the witch caught me this morning x

 

[Joey2011]

Thanks vickib_1984, I know that this will be along journey, I'm hopeful and I'm going to stay as positive as possible.

racha, I feel so much better already I can't tell you!

I've just finished my P and I'm on a 30 day cycle and ovulate before day 18 if that makes sense? Should my husband and I be having sex every 2 days from now until the 18th day of my cycle or every 3 days?

X

 

[racha]

staying positive is the best thing to do.the advice i was given today is having sex every day when you have finished x

 

[Tanya4beauty]

You're not alone, I think we all feel the same. You think falling pregnant will be so easy but it seems not! Makes me wonder how people have so many ' accidents'.
I was the same as you, career driven and I never wanted kids. This aching want took over me last year and now that's all I think about too.
This website is fantastic and I think it's becoming my guilty pleasure, it's a good crutch when you feel down. No one understands how you feel unless they are going through the same thing and that's why it's so great on here.
I only joined this week and I'm slowly learning my way around and the different terms! I feel like I have made friends too as everyone is so lovely.
Baby dust to everyone! Xx

 

[Joey2011]

Thanks racha, I hope I'll have the energy for that! Tanya4beauty, I'm still in a state of shock that I actually feel this way! I find myself sneaking on my phone trying to find information that will make me feel better. You're right that it's an ache, I totally feel the same.

I'm ready to start TTC this month and I feel excited but then it gets so much harder, especially the week I'm due. It's like torture and I know I'm the one making it so much harder on myself rather than think that there is no pregnancy until I'm late. It's simple but I really wish I could really stick to that so it's easier to deal with. I need to try and be more rational about it and try and keep my emotions as controlled as possible. Easier said than done hey!

Does everyone else have sex every day before ovulation or do you have a different routine?

X

 

[jarjar81]

When I was signed up to this website last year I found that everyone on here helped me through each month more than my actual 'real life' friends cos EVERYONE feels the same. Its so comforting to know you can come on here, have a rant and someone will agree with you rather than pretend they're listening cos they dont feel the same way as you!

As I said in my earlier post, my fella's sex drive is so low that some months we dont even try...I would love to be able to do it every day and know you've covered all your bases but with him it tends to just be around the days of OV...which obviously hasn't been good enough so far!
xxxxx

 

[Joey2011]

You're so right jarjar81, my 'real life' friends are trying again after their heartbreaks and I feel like I shouldn't complain too much in case it upsets them. I just dream of what it would be like to be pregnant. Any new clothes that I buy are suitable for being pregnant, I just can't believe it's impacting every aspect of my life, even clothes shopping!

It must be so hard your OH having a low sex drive, that must add an additional level of stress for you. Does he exercise? That can increase sex drive I believe.

I know you'll all be there for me every step of the way, thank you for giving me hope.

X

 

[secrethope]

Hiya, thanks for the good wishes everyone

I have tbh that don't really feel like sex straight after my period has finished. I tend to ovulate around cd 12 so when my new cycle starts I'm gonna try cd 7,9,11,12,13 at least also I'm gonna try and make it as fun as poss-that has gotta help!

There is a sperm meet egg plan (google it if you want loads of info) and I think that involves every other day til you start getting positive ovulation tests and then every day til 2 days after ov.

Hope that helps!

 

[vickib_1984]

its always a long journey and a hard one i have a 7 year old but am strugglng to fall again i have pcos and all i have to talk to was my hubby now i have people on here i can talk to and ask advice from and i love it no one else knows my business in my life so i find its easier on here xxxx

 

[Joey2011]

Thanks secrethope, I'm on CD 7 and starting to feel cramping already, I think I do ovulate at around day 10,11,12 even on my 30 day cycle so that's early isn't it? Anyway, I'm going to try from tonight. Keeping it fun is the key, I've never spent so much on underwear! I'm going to buy some ovulation tests as I had mine done at the docs. At the docs I was CD 18 so if they detected ovulation, does that mean I had JUST ovulated? How long is ovulation detected for? I'm just trying to work out if my theory of ovulating early is right or not.

VickiB1984 - it is so nice to know you can confess all of your feelings and noone will judge you. This is like a modern day confession booth! I feel like a weight has lifted already!

I'll be grateful for any info regarding ovulation detection.

X

 

[Corrinne37]

Hi Joey,
Im new on here too and I feel exactly the same way as you!
Last month I absolutely convinced myself i was PG I though i could feel th implantation cramps and everything, it made me feel crazy, then the disappointment when I tested negative(early) I felt so low, convinced myself was too early and i was still PG, when witch arrived, still convinced myself could be implantation bleed!!! It was stressful and horrible knew I had to come on something like this to chat to like minded people!!!
I also feel the pressure of time as im 37 , and also my Mum got early menopause at 41!!

Trying to stay strong and keep believing that it will happen for me.

Big Hello to everyone else on this thread - hope we get to chat more in the future!! xxx

 

[Joey2011]

Corrinne37 I hear you about the clock ticking! I'm 32 and I used to think I had forever to have children (if I decided to have them) and now I have the agony of failing each month is really hard to deal with.

It's strange as it's almost like you have to let go of yourself, you know what I mean? I've worked hard and long to get where I am and if I'm determined, I usually achieve my goals. I feel like we're at a time of getting everything we want because we work hard for it and why not. This is THE only time I can think of that I feel like I'm really failing. I've never really failed at anything so maybe this is my test, I don't know.

I'll have to make sure I don't come on here after a glass of vino, I'll be in tears!

You're all so lovely, I'll be saying baby prayers for all of you.

X