New To First Trimester

[grace7]

Hiya Girls,
I have already have a 3 month old girl called Ellie but last week found out i was pregnant me and my partner have been contemplating whether to have a termination or not as they will be so close in age and at 1 point we chose too but now we have changed our minds.
I found the forum when i was pregnant with Ellie but i was in my third timester. Hope everyone is ok and i wanted to say Hi.
The one thing i am dreading this time is the morning sickness i had really bad with Ellie! Anyone here already had a baby who had morning sickness with the first but not the second?! Im hoping that may happen with me but probably not LoL!

Anyway looking forward to goign through my second pregnancy with all of you and hopefully make some good friends.

Grace and Bumpx (I dont know how far i am yet got to go to the docs)

 

[sarah113]

Congratulations hun!!!

with my girls i had really bad morning sickness, but with my little boy and this one (which is a boy) i only ever felt a bit sick
Good luck hun

sarahxxx

 

Hi Grace,

I know that you're anxious at the thought of having another baby so soon after your first (and probably coping with being pregnant and having such a young baby), but I just wanted to tell you about some of the positives of having babies so close together.

My mum had four babies before she was 24 (sadly, her first baby died after birth). My older brother is only 11 months older than me and my younger brother 15 months younger. I had a great childhood with my brothers because we were all around the same age and so liked doing the same things at the same time: we all got similar things at Christmas and believed in Father Christmas until the same point. Days out and holidays were easy because we were all at the same age to enjoy e.g. the seaside or the funfair etc. We were all able to walk to school together and look out for each other. As adults, we socialised in the same places and shared friends. That's the good part of being a child with siblings around the same age.

As a parent of two children born exactly two years apart - I should've had mine closer together! When you have your first baby, if you're anything like me, your world is thrown into chaos. It's a huge responsibility and the work and stress seem relentless. I never really "enjoyed" my first baby - I wished his life away! I wanted him to grow up and not be dependant on me, I felt like I couldn't handle being on call 24 hours a day for the rest of my life. It stretched out in front of me like a life sentence! Even so, I started trying to conceive my next baby by the time he was a year old. It was tiring, coping with a toddler whilst pregnant.

When my second baby was born, things actually got easier. People had told me this, but I didn't believe it at first, but it was true. With your first baby, you fit everything around the baby. With your second, because you have another child who needs to be fed, changed, entertained etc. then the new baby has to fit around the family. Probably because of this, they tend to get into a routine much more quickly.

Your house is already full of baby stuff. Your life is already totally geared up towards a baby - an ideal time to slot another one in there! It means that you get all this "baby stage" out of the way in just a couple of years, rather than going back and starting all over again if you'd had a bigger gap between your children.

At first, my son was very jealous of his baby sister and was quite rough with her. Now, they are as thick as thieves. From the time they were 2 and 4, they've played happily together, entertaining each other and are more independent of me as a result. Half the time, I barely see them these days! On Saturdays, they go to a little computer club on their own. They walk together to school. When they're home, they are in one or the other's rooms, playing games together. They also "gang up" on me if I tell one of them off. Of course, they still argue from time to time, but I'm so glad I had them close together.

At first, I thought the house would never be free of changing mats, nappies and wipes etc. That I'd never be able to leave the house without a buggy and a huge bag, but that's the same with one baby. With 2 close together, that stage lasts just a bit longer, but then, all of a sudden, you have two children who can walk about, get themselves dressed and occupy themselves for a few hours.

You do get your life back, bit-by-bit. I promise you. Even though things seem overwhelming at first, it's great to have children close together. By the time this new baby arrives, you'll be an expert at the baby stage and take it all in your stride.

I think becoming a parent for the first time is the scariest part and, before you've even got the chance to get used to that, you've found out there's another on the way. Of course you're anxious, but I really think that in 4 or 5 years' time, you'll look back on this and be so pleased that you had your children close together.

Good luck and congratulations.

Love,
Wendy
xxx

 

[grace7]

WendyWandy thank you so much that was so nice of you it has put alot of things into perspective for me, like you said at the moment its just the whole shock of it all and im worried about going to back to work and then having to tell them that i'm pregnant with another and going on maternity again.
Thanks again Gracexx

 

[smurf]

Wendy I just wanted to say thank you what a wonderful way of looking at things I am the youngest of 3 girls with 18 months between each of us and our lives were like that growing up we played together all the time and now were all adults and nearly all in our 40's (they are and I will be in December) we are closer than ever.

This is my first baby and god willing I will have a second fairly soon afterwards because as I am almost 40 I really don't have the luxury of time on my side but I've alwasy thought of it as being a bit daunting having 2 small children close together but you've made it sound much more positive.

Grace congratulations on your pregnancy and I am glad you didn't opt for the termination your hard work will be well rewarded in a very short time.

 

Hiya girls,

Smurf - My only "gripe" growing up was that I didn't have a sister! I'm glad you are so close to yours. Congratulations on your pregnancy and "nearly 40" isn't too old. As I said in other posts, I had thought my gran was 40 when she had my auntie 40 years ago, until my mum reminded me that my gran is 82 (so she was 42 when she had my auntie all those years ago). My auntie is such a placid, laid back person - I'm sure she has having older parents to thank for that I'm glad to hear you're having your longed-for baby and I'm sure you'll be able to fit another one in within the next few years.

Grace - I understand now that you're worried too about how they'll react at work, but really, although you may feel a bit awkward about it (what - as though you're "taking liberties" having another child so soon? ), your employer can't do anything about it, because they can't discriminate against you in any way for being pregnant or they'd be breaking the law. Besides, hopefully, they'll view it as a positive too - they surely had to get a replacement for you this time? Perhaps they could keep that same person on/re-hire them for your next maternity leave? If I was your employer, I'd think that although it was a bit of a lengthy absence, at least your family will be "complete" (at least for the foreseeable future) so would be more beneficial in the longer term. I hope your employer sees it like that and is supportive. If not, just come here and have a moan!

xxx