NEW HERE. ADVICE APPRECIATED

[scarlett1965]

Hi. I have recently found your website and think its great. I was wondering if any of you had any advice for me.
I am 42 yrs old and have 3 children, Alice aged 20 (and 13 weeks pregnant herself!), Jack aged 16 and Lilli from my second marriage aged 4 yrs. I have been ttc for 7 mths now. Lilli was a twin but I lost one when it was only 8 weeks old. Since then I had an ectopic pregnancy in November 2004 (tubes still intact) and a silent miscarriage in November 2005. We decided to give up trying and I went on Depo but came off it in early May, this year. As many of you must know the desire to have my one last child is overwhelming. My younger hubby is great and says as long as he has myself and Lilli he does not mind. However I love children and although I am so looking forward to having a grandchild, I am desperate to have one of my own. I am so grateful and feel lucky for the children I have already got, when some people cant have them, but that does not stop my longing. I know I am probably trying to hard but its all I ever think about. Three of my younger friends have got pregnant in the last few weeks and I am so happy for them but I still think.." why not me?" Is there anyone there the same age as me ttc or if anyone can give me advice on what I can do to improve my chances of conceiving I would be so grateful. My cycle is erratic.. sometimes 30 days sometimes 42 days!. I am not stupid but sometimes get confused when the best time is for me.
many thanks
Scarlett

 

[hannah9000]

Hi, welcome! I know alot of the ladies here chart their temps using http://www.fertilityfriend.com, you can also use ovulation kits which detect your LH surge and check your cervical mucus and position.

I have chosen to just go by cervical position as I believe I will get overly obsessed if I do the others! I'm bad enough as it is!

 

[scarlett1965]

Hi

Thanks for the info..will look that up in a bit. Excuse ny ignorance but what is cervical position.?

 

[hannah9000]

Your cervix, it goes through different stages at different times of the month, so for instance when you ovulate it goes high and soft, and when you are due af (period) it goes low and hard. It involves using your fingers!

 

[scarlett1965]

Thanks for that. I have just joined the website you gave me so hopefully that will help.

 

[mandspice]

Welcome Scarlett! I'm not too up on all the technical stuff yet so I'm not charting or temping or anything (just BDing as much as poss!) but I do know that this forum is invaluable and great for getting stuff out of your system / seeing how others are doing without stressing your partner!

Good luck xxxxx

 

[scarlett1965]

hi
Many thanks. Yes my poor hubby!!! its so great to talk to others about what you are feeling without depressing them (hopefully!) As said my family are great but with my eldest pregnant herself I dont like to talk to her about my problems and dont want to dampen the good news and excitement about her own baby, and my grandchild as we are all so pleased. you all seem a fantastic, friendly group of people and i am glad to have found this. Good luck to you all ttc and I am waiting for the first BFP since I have joined. i will be so pleased, it will almost be as good as conceiving myself!!!!!!!

 

[reallyoldmum]

Hi Scarlett - as an older mum myself welcome - I too have a 20 year old daughter and a nearly 18 year old son - its my second marriage and we are trying for our first together.

I do use FF for charting as I feel at my age I need to give it my best shot but it is very obsessive - I know I ovulated 7 days ago and I can think of nothing else!!

Anyway good luck and I hope your stay here will be a short one x

 

[scarlett1965]

Hi
thanks for your encouragement. Do you mind me asking how long you have been ttc? I dont know of anyone my age that has had a baby but I suppose there must be many. Are there any physical things that help? Like which position is best, any foods that help etc? also do you know is it best that hubby wears loose boxers or tight ones? Any supplements that seem to work? Any advice would be gratefully received. My Doc says there is no reason as my periods are regular but I know that menopause is slowly creeping up on me!!!!!!!!
I have just picked up Lilli from school and another of my friends has announced she is 9 weeks pregnant! happy for her, of course but feeling sorry for me!

 

[reallyoldmum]

I dont mind at all - this is our 7th month ttc - we have suffered 2 chemical pregnancies and one early loss last month, so it doesnt appear we have any trouble getting me pregnant - just getting it to stick!!

Started a round of tests today - doctor is testing my progesterone levels and at the start of my next cycle will check my FSH level for the dreaded M word!!!

Like you I had my children early but I do know quite a few people who have had babies in their late 30's early 40's but I can actually hear my biological clock ticking somedays!!!

As for doing anything special - I just try to eat a balanced diet - am taking folic acid and have cut out as much caffine as possible -I dont really drink anymore but will at the start of my cycle maybe have a couple of glasses of wine.

My DH is doing nothing..... typical - although the doctor does want to do sperm tests after my blood tests just incase......

 

[scarlett1965]

Hi
Thanks for the tips. I am sorry for your losses but Good luck with the tests. I may get my Doc to do progesterone levels but as I have only been trying 7 months he thinks its too early to explore.! I have just read some great info on this site about what people did to help them conceive and I am going to try it all!! Zinc, selenium, bananas and loose boxers for hubby and for me.. no weeing straight after sex, legs in air for 30 mins ?( God help me.. I have fibromyalgia!), Pregnacare, a spoonful of honey every day, natural yoghurt, and Green tea (yuk).
This site is brill.. am so glad I found it. You dont realise just how many are ttc and the support is fantastic.
Thanks again

 

[reallyoldmum]

No problems - it is fantastic - the people on here are so supportive, I have been so grateful of a kind word or a point in the right direction, some how it makes this long and very stressful journey much easier.

Oh yes I forgot we do try and get me to O after sex - usually with the aid of an electric friend (tmi sorry ) - picked up that tip on another site and I am sure it worked last month for me - tmi again - but I didnt seem to loose so much when I eventually got up if you know what I mean!! It always amazes me just how much information I share on this site.......

 

[Flick]

Hi Scarlett, welcome to the site and good luck. I am also 42 and TTC, but this will be my first (why have I left it too late ) Like you, the doc seems quite happy to let me carry on and says there is no reason I should not concieve naturally.

I am sure you will find the 'fertility friend' website an excellent help and will pick up loads of tips, but if you get stuck I'm sure there will be someone on this site with lots of help and advice. We are all in the same boat so don't be backwards at coming forwards

 

[sookie]

Hi Scarlett,

While I can't vouch for these herbal regimes myself as I haven't tried them, nor do I know anyone who has, I came across them yesterday when looking for natural help in ttc myself:

http://www.tryingtoconceive.com/

Click on the 'herbs for her' link. There are different products for different situations. There is one for women over 35.

Good luck!