Nervously dipping toes back in...

[linxminx21]

Hiya I'm Jodie I'm 28 and a mum of two. I have a boy who is nearly 12...and despite what my ticker says at the bottom my little girl is nearly 6 (where does the time go).
I was adiment I was lucky to get one of each and I wasn't needing to add to my family... But I'm here so things have changed!
I have had an abnormal smear that is needing some treatment but I'm hoping nothing major and I found a lump in my boob which thankfully turned out to be nothing so I think it made me think that if my choice of having another baby was taken away I'd be so sad.
Now the reason I'm waiting... I'm overweight... To be blunt.
I had high BP with my last pregnancy quite bad and was in and out of hospital so doing it purposely at this weight would be asking for trouble.
I want to wait until after Xmas then start losing weight (avoiding sex during Feb due to two November babies already lol) and once Iv lost enough to feel more comfortable then we will start trying.
Iv been off contraception since I had my daughter and we just avoid ovulation!
Sooo that's me....
If you've got this far we'll done! Lol

 

[Mrs CW]

I remember you from when I had my first.
We were sure that we had completed our family but an unplanned BFP which ended in MMC in May has made us decide to have another. Good luck with everything x

 

[linxminx21]

Ohh good luck to you too.
I could still change my mind but I think I'm set on it now and keep thinking of things I'd use this time I didn't last time ect.
I can drive now, we have an extra bedroom and both kids are in school so I think we're in as good position as I'm going to be in Barr my weight!

 

[linxminx21]

I think I may use this as a kind of journal for myself. This section doesn't seem too busy atm.
Af came today a few days early and it's awful too!
I think as soon as Iv had the treatment for abnormal cells and everything is OK I'll start trying... I think lol.
I'm going to use this month to start my weight loss, I'm not expecting miracles as much as I'd like them. I'll wait for my treatment and then ask the nurse where I go from there.

I just need to avoid the start of next year as I already have two November babies conceived in February. With birthdays 4 days apart so I don't want another in the same month if I can help it.

I am reading up on how to help high BP in pregnancy and also on the new guidelines for babies... As believe it or not a lot has changed In 6 years!

I tried breastfeeding last time and only managed 4 days I think my expectations weren't realistic and I didn't expect her to need to feed so often. If I am lucky enough to have another I want to be fully prepared this time and have everything I need. Even down to easy access pj's, the right creams ect.

This would be my last baby for sure as funds and my house, car, ect will only stretch this far without it being a struggle! So I want to do everything I can to enjoy as much as I can without putting pressure on myself for it to be perfect.

I am someone who likes all the info even if I don't use it. I like to know as much as I can, in every situation not just babies lol!
But I also understand things in life happen that change your plans so I'm ready for that too x

 

[linxminx21]

Well my period came and went as usual, I'm quite happy they aren't as heavy as they used to be despite My weight gain.
I have my treatment on my abnormal cells on my cervix tomorrow. I'm hoping for the loop procedure and not the cone, as the cone has a higher chance of later miscarriage and PROM.
The lletz still has a risk of causing issues in the second trimester as tour baby grows it can put pressure on your cervix and cause it to start shortening. I will be asking at my appointment and I will also tell the drs if I am lucky enough to fall pregnant again.
I will push for a cervical measuring scan and make sure I'm monitored as good as I can be due to the small increased risk.
These treatments are necessary I know that and I'm so thankful the cells are pre cancerous and not actual cancer, but they do come at the wrong time lol!
From what iv been reading you can start ttc soon after the lletz procedure (about 6 weeks waiting due to bleeding and infection risk) and they can do the smear test at the 6 month Mark while pregnant.
I think I will get some ovulation tests just to see if I can work out when I'm ovulating this month without the added stress of trying to bd at the right time because I will still be bleeding.
Iv got two birthdays next month. My son will be 12 and my daughter will be 6! It's gone so fast!
So if it takes me a while to fall I will be avoiding January, February and March ovulation because id like some more of a gap between birthdays as it's an expensive time of the year anyway!
I'll report back (to myself lol) tomorrow and record how the procedure went!

 

[KHTW]

Hi,

Finger crossed all goes well, good luck!

I had my screening yesterday and hopefully the results are normal so that we can start trying next month x

 

[linxminx21]

Ohh good luck with that, hope it's all clear for you x x x

 

[linxminx21]

Ouch is all I can say.
That lletz treatment hurt. The said they have taken away about 1cm of my cervix. And that it is about 4cm long so not too much.
The needle they numb you with is absolutely awful and sent me dizzy, I w as shaking and my heart was beating so fast. Apparently it's the Adrenalin in the anesthetic that makes you feel like that it does pass quite quickly though.
It's all over with and I asked when I can start ttc she did say try and wait until the 6 month check up but if you can't then it isn't the end of the world either. So I'm going to wait for my results... Around 6 weeks and then see if I have a clear margin of cells and don't need any further treatment then might start trying.
Iv been looking back at my journey with lacie and I started trying in October and fell in the February ... I will be avoiding Jan, Feb and March this year lol so that won't be happening again!

 

[Mrs CW]

I'm glad it all went well. Hope you're in less pain x

 

[KHTW]

Ouch indeed! Fingers crossed for all clear results. 6 weeks isn't too long x

 

[linxminx21]

Thanks girls. No 6 weeks isn't too long to wait but it's the not knowing that I hate!
It's worse than the tww because I know at the end of it I won't be taking a test to see if I'm pregnant lol.
The pain has subsided now and I'm only bleeding lightly. I have been told that the bleeding can get heavy around week 4 after treatment and that it will make my next period a bit nasty. Could also mess my cycles up for a month or two.

But dealing with the side effects of treatment for abnormal cells is better than if I had left them... By far!

Thinking of holding off on buying the ovulation sticks for now so I don't use them on a cycle that could be all over the place, I shall wait for this period, and my next then start with the opks. I think that's the sensible thing to do and it will give my body time to heal and hopefully get back to normal.

I can't have sex, go swimming and avoid long baths for 4 to 6 weeks anyway!
Good job I love a shower!

 

[linxminx21]

So it's been 5 days since I had the lletz. Iv been in a little pain today. Discharge has changed again (no two days are the same) it's dragging it seems like I had it done weeks ago! Maybe it's because I'm waiting for the results and the ever changing situation down there!
I'm a tampon kinda girl so having to have a sanitary towel on 24.7 is driving me mad. Tmi but it needs some airing down there lol!
No wonder infection I'd common with this procedure!

My oh has been thinking about baby names and how we would get around the room situation depending on the sex of a baby if we had one so that's exciting stuff. With the others he was just laid back and didn't have too much input, especially to just come out with it himself without prompting too!

 

[Mrs CW]

I hope the pain isn't too bad and that you feel more comfortable soon.

It's lovely that your OH is getting excited. My OH was very laid back previously. I think he'll be very similar this time x

 

[KHTW]

That does sound uncomfortable! I hope you are back to normal very soon!

It is so cute when guys get excited about your pregnancy. My OH was also pretty laid back through the pregnancy but when DD was born he just fell head over heels

 

[linxminx21]

Thanx for responding girls... I'm just using this to put my thoughts and feelings down.
Pain is on and off and comes on right when I don't need it to; like on the school run!

He has shocked me saying that and when we have a convo he says stuff like well maybe we will need a bigger car one day. To say when I first mentioned the subject I think he was a bit shocked and not keen on the idea!
I was adiment no more after lacie (now 6) but now I feel like my family isn't complete and would be with another.

Big age gap again though. Nearly 6 years between alfie and lacie (Barr 4 days) and lacie is 6 in November, so an even bigger gap between 2 and 3 if I was to fall pregnant again.
We have nothing from when she was a baby so would be starting from scratch again just like with lacie!
It's daunting... But I'm more than ready! I wish I was pregnant now!

 

[linxminx21]

So nearly 2 weeks from my lletz treatment. Spotting is still there but not as much or as watery. Period is due in 7 days... Oh I'm dreading it. I had an awful dream last night that I needed the treatment again and they said I wouldn't be able to carry a baby to full term again. It was horrible and put me in a right awful mood.
So I got the dog and the youngest and we went round the local nature park for an hour. Shattered us both and the dog!

Looking forward to being normal down there again... So is the oh I think Lmao..
Started looking at what I'd buy differently this time round and what I wouldn't even bother with.
I can remember half the stuff we got with lacie and didn't use! A changing unit is an essential for me though for storage and to save my back !

Starting back at slimming world after the half term. Using this week to cut down on junk and start walking more. ( Iv been driving for a year now and iv gotten so lazy I'm so unfit... Not a good start to any pregnancy if it can be helped)
So ill use this post to jot all my sw in too!
It's all part of waiting to try so I suppose it's in the right section as these are the things stopping me!
Bit of a ramble and messed up post lol... Like my brain atm!

 

[KHTW]

Awful dream indeed brrr! Walking sounds like a good way to clear your head

You have a plan and that is a good thing! Fingers crossed all goes well for you xx

 

[linxminx21]

Annndddddd Iv got a cold... Eyes running, nose running/blocked.. It has a Mind of its own and can change in a second. I'm hot, cold and fed up!

Iv walked to Morrisons today with the kiddies, well they biked I walked. It took us about 2 hrs.
All for baking stuff so the kiddies weren't bored while I'm feeling sorry for myself! I regretted it as soon as I started walking but we made it and now have cookies, cakes and rice pudding cooking!

It's another day of walking to tick off my list even though I didn't feel it and the car was on the drive! Ohh it would have taken 10 mins in the car and been so much easier!
Easier isn't always better though... And I won't get fitter and thinner doing things the easy way!

Time to break bad habits and get my body as healthy as I can for a better chance of falling pregnant, and giving my baby the best chance I can!

 

[linxminx21]

Cold is still here and I'm worse today!
My boobs are killing, well my nipples... God help my oh if he comes home and squeezes them lol... (he tends to do this atm because I had a lump in my boob and had to have it checked for breast cancer so he couldn't touch them they hurt... It was just breast tissue thank God, but he says he's missed them lmfao)
My boobs hurt that much and I had twinge pain in side that I took a prg test. Negative obviously because we about a week or more before ov because I was having the lletz procedure done. So not even a slight chance I would be but with the cold, sore nipples, pains and TMI a bit of a runny bottom I lost my rational thoughts lol!

No results from lletz yet but it has only been 2 weeks! I hate waiting it feels like months ago I had it done!

 

[linxminx21]

May have accidentally ordered some opks... Just to see when I ovulate next month... Maybe... Lol.
Joking aside if my lletz results are back and are OK and my cervix is all ok I will use them to time if not I'll use them to see when I ovulate and see if my tracker on my phone is accurate.