need your help ladies, please dont judge!! :(

[jessicalouise7]

hi, this is my first ever time to this site and my first ever forum post, i am at the end of my tether with something.. it goes like this..

i am 5weeks + 4days preg.. my LMP was 8-01-10 and i had sex with a man i was seeing on the 16-01... he withdrew but obviously i am worried about pre-ejectile fluid... my ex and my little boys dad told me he wanted me back on the 18-01 (2years after we split i had been trying to get him back, make it work etc we always had a good relationship for my sons sake though) we had sex on this day and then on my ovulating day 22-01... i have calculated this as its 14 days after the first day of my period.. anyway as you can see i am a little confused about this.. it just really really bad timing... i wasnt using protection as my pill ran out and i was gettin some more (silly of me i know) and thats how i found out about my pregnancy....

any ideas if theres any chance i could have conceived a baby with the guy i was dating? or if my partner is indeed the father.. i cannot go through with it no knowing a hundred per cent and plus i am worried the strain on our relationship of a baby will make it difficult.. although i do really want this baby. my son is now 3. i know this is a case for jeremy kyle and i never thought something like this could happen to me. please help!!!!! jess x

 

[Pudds86]

I'm sorry to hear about your situation. It would be wrong of us to say it was definately one or the other, and too be honest we aren't going to know. It would make more sense for it to be the one closest to your ovulation date, but then again you dont know when exactly that was. Sorry I can't be more help xx

 

[Annie050408]

Sounds to me like the 16th would perhaps be too early to have conceived and it's more likely it was on the 22nd you conceived.

Btw, it sounds from your dates that you are more like 7 weeks pregnant hon.

Good luck and happy and healthy 9 months! xx

 

[Mamafy]

Hi & Welcome to the Forum

From what you're saying I think the most likely father is your partner. You more than likely conceived the baby on the 22nd rather than the 18th. I THINK the 16th is too early.

 

[louise280981]

^^^^^ what they said
welcome to the forum and we are always hear to listen and not judge lovely xx

 

[vixxie77]

I agreed with all the above, you could wait til your dating scan before telling anyone or pay for a private one early, you may be able to find out exactly how far you are so you can work it out?? x x

 

[frankie707]

I agree with everyone else - impossible to say for sure but more likely to be your partner especially as the other guy withdrew and you had sex with your partner closer to ovulating. Good luck with your pregnancy.

 

[Sam's Mum]

It is impossible to be sure as you don't know exactly when you ovulated if you're only counting 14 days, and sperm can live up to 5 days. How long are your cycles usually though? If you have longer cycles the chances are you ovulated later than 14 days after the start of your last period, which would make it unlikely to be the other guy x

 

[jessicalouise7]

thank you for your replies, yes i had a scan on the 26th and it said i am less than six weeks and the doctor advised that i was 5 weeks. so five weeks back from that was the 22nd.. but of course i am worried that his pre ejectile would be in me and alive six days later! am i worrying about nothing, or should i not take a chance on this! i have done some calculators online and they say i am more, do you know why this is? confusing stuff. thank you to you all. i love this forum already xx

 

[jessicalouise7]

and my cycles are 28 days xx

 

[vixxie77]

You're pregnancy starts from first day of your last period, thats why they say your more, even tho you didn't conceive til 2 weeks after. Not sure how that works with dates doc gave you tho coz that should be how they work it out x x

 

[FebMum2Be]

If the doctor said you were 5 weeks pregnant, this would mean conception happened 3 weeks ago, they add an extra 2 weeks on to count from your last period, or was he counting from possible conception date? Welcome and good luck x

 

[Piglet10]

hi and welcome!, i was gonna say pretty much what febmum said.... your only actually preg for 38 weeks the 2 extra allow for the middle of the month iykwim. chances are if your not as far on as you thought its the second guys... i hope it all works out for you!! xx

 

[jessicalouise7]

im so confused, i had a very light period on 5-02 and i was told this was spoting, it was really really light brown and very little of it.. i assumed 5 weeks was shown on the scan then the baby was conceived on the 22nd, and not 3 weeks ago.. they said this too i think i explained the situation, embarassing as it is! x

 

[Sam's Mum]

Dating from a scan means nothing really unless you're not sure which month you conceived (because the dates were close enough together for either to have fertilised the same egg if you ovulated early)... but while it is possible to get pregnant using the withdrawal method it's more often because the man doesn't pull out in time, not because of pre ejaculate, as if he has urinated since he last ejaculated there shouldn't be any sperm in it. I'd still say it's far more likely to be your partner's x

 

[jessicalouise7]

thank you, the dating scan said on 26th feb that i am less than six weeks. i am eager to find out my due date and how many weeks i am, initially they said i was 5 weeks and when i had my scan i was expecting to be 7 and half weeks. x

 

[mummynmummy2b]

Hey, dont worry about being judged, think we've all found ourselves in a Jeremy Kyle situation at some point!! Just wondered whether your partner knows the situation or not??
From what I understand even if the other guy had released some sperm berofe withdrawing it is unlikely for them to live for 6 days until your ovulation especially of he didnt release his full load in there! Sorry couldnt think of a nice way to phrase that!! If you had sex with your partner before you ovulated and also on the day of ovulation i think its much more likely to be his.

I know its hard but even finding out your exact date of conception or your due date wouldnt tell you whose the baby is. If you had sex with both men before you ovulated there would be sperm up there from both men already when you release your egg. As there was probably no egg there to fertilize before the 22nd you would concieve on the 22nd whether it was your partners sperm or the sperm of the guy that you were seeing. Sorry i'm finding it hard to explain what i mean but basically unless you concieved before you had sex with your partner on the 18th you wont be able to work out whose it is. You could prove that it is the other guys if conception took place before the 18th but if conception took place after the 18th even if it was on the 22nd you still couldnt prove for definate that its your partners without a paternity test as there would have been sperm from both men present when your egg was released. Much more likely that its your partners but without a paternity test no way of telling for certain.

Hope everything sorts out for you
xx

 

[HelenJ]

It is impossible to be sure as you don't know exactly when you ovulated if you're only counting 14 days, and sperm can live up to 5 days. How long are your cycles usually though? If you have longer cycles the chances are you ovulated later than 14 days after the start of your last period, which would make it unlikely to be the other guy x

sperm only lives up to 5 days in good quality fertile cervical fluid, meaning if you didn't have any cervical fluid when you were intimate with this date you are NOT pregnant of him, but of course I don't know if you keep track of cervical fluid (if you do then it is easy to know who is the father)

if you always have a period of 28 days but ovulated at day 22 you cannot be pregnant now, because you need at least 12 days after ovulation for the egg to implant, so this would mean your ovulation was earlier then day 22nd.

 

[Star*]

hey

• So today you are nearly 9 weeks? counting from you scan on the 26th of FEB when you were 5 weeks?
• BUT you say that your LMP was on the 8/01 and you have regular 28 day cycles meaning technically you would be nearly 11 weeks pregnant today.
• IF your are 100% sure that you LMP was on the 8/01? then the only thing I can think of is that you ovulated really late that month meaning that the guy whom you had sex with on the 16/01 could not be the dad.
• Your partner now, have you had sex with him any other time after the 18/01? If yes then from the dates i would say you ovulated late and he is the dad!
• I cannot see how you are nearly 9 weeks pregnant that the 16/01 guy can be the dad (espesially if you ovulated later than the 22nd) which by your dates it looks that way his sperm would no way have lasted that long.

Hope this has helped. One more question can you remember when you ovulated by remembering your cervical fluid texture? from your dates i really believe you ovulated later than the 22/01.

xxx

 

[jessicalouise7]

thanks for your responses, i had a scan yesterday, and it showed i was ten weeks exactly, they said my due date is 20-10 and that by their calcuations my lmp was the 13-01 making my calcuations of conception to be the 27 (when i ovulated??) however i dont recall having intercourse on or a day before this day, yes my partner and i had sex on the 18-01 and the 22-01.. so are the chances even more likely to be his? my partner i mean. i had sex on the 16th with the other guy, who i am really hoping is not the father! i know my guessing of my lmp was 8-01 but this was just brown discharge and i was on for a while, so maybe their calculations were right but i do know that i was NOT on my period during the time i had sex on the 16-01!!! i dont have any faith in my scan, going on what i have told you now... advice please? these forums really are a god send x