Need to have a moan...

[Piglet's Mama]

...and sorry ladies, this is going to be a long one.

The long and the short, my OH's family are doing my head in. Comments from hubby's uncle:

"Oh what a horrible time to be pregnant in the summer"
"Oh and your baby will bottom of the class in school, that's a shame"

Then to top it off, and just to set the scene hubby and I eloped when we got married...

"Can I just say, because we all missed out when you got married, it would be totally inappropriate if you didn't have a christening..."

Then SIL didn't even react when we told her, she said "I KNEW something was going on, why didn't you tell ME, I will be the baby's only REAL auntie". Then she comes round yesterday, I'm wasn't in so she's referring to me as SHE and HER and the baby as IT, to the point hubby says "Who is she She?" and saying nasty things about me like "I bet SHE won't even let us babysit" and "Will you get IT christened as SHE is catholic and that will cause some drama" I HATE HER!

As well as that, her and the MIL are so besides themselves about the baby they have gone out already and bought stuff. I've said to hubby I don't want anything in the house yet, it's too early and if anything goes wrong I don't want to have to deal with that on top of everything else... they know my Mum lost a baby at full term and this plays on my mind, plus we haven't even had our nuchal screening yet or anything. So I asked hubby to tell SIL this. Now she's either thick or he's too soft and hasn't told her as she texts this morning saying can I come round with a present? I had to text her in the end and say I'm not being ungrateful but it's too early for these things. She then makes me feel guilty saying she got me a frame of "Baby's First Scan" - well I have something like this already as it's MY FIRST BABY! Why is she buying me this? So she texts saying "do you not want it?" And I feel like saying "I don't want anything from you - f8ck off!" but instead I'm like "Well I have something like that as it's my first baby and I've bought myself something like that..."

Girls - am I too sensitive or is my SIL a f8cking nutter like I already think? She has done nothing but make these last couple of weeks a misery for me. She ruined the day we had the scan for my hubby because she didn't even say congratulations, she's been two faced behind my back, undermining me, making me feel guilty. I can't deal with her. I keep thinking it is going to be 100 times worse when baby is actually here.

I just don't know what to do. No doubt she will be slagging me off now to hubby and my MIL but I actually don't care. I can feel my heart thudding and I'm so stressed I could cry!

Rant over x

 

[Kay1987]

ohhhh poor u, everythin is so much worse with the hormones! i can relate as my MIL ruined my 1st pregnancy by being a total cow about it for the 1st 6weeks and then the same thing, kept buying things really early when i told them i was against it, buying everything that I wanted 2 get and pick myself etc, i could go on and on and on. She still does it now, i swear she thinks that my son is hers sometimes. The bottom of it is they probably are being a bit bitchy, if ur not bothered about fall outs just tell them 2 back off and if not just accept eveything they want 2 get 4 baby 2 keep the peace and dont use it! I just smile and say thanks 2 everythin now and then stick it in the back of the wardrobe, otherwise i just get myself all wound up about it and end up wanted 2 scream at them all! ppl think they r helping by getting u things but they dont realise they are sometimes taking away alot of "firsts" for u with your pregnancy/baby. x

 

[Annie050408]

Let me tell you something hon, this is 50% other people butting in and 50% you having an issue with them. How do I know this? I'm living it as are many ladies on here. Don't ask me why but so many of us first time mums suffer from feeling very posessive over our bubs right from the time of bfp and while we can just about put up with our own mums giving advice/gifts and getting involved it is seriously not appreciated from anyone else. I can't bare other people getting involved with anything to do with my bub and I have developed an intense dislike for a couple of people since falling pregnant because of it who I really liked before. Some of the nasty comments re the baby and christening are uncalled for and just people being stupid. As a teacher I can tell you that the youngest in the year are not always affected by being a 'year behind' as July and August babies - it all comes down to home support and natural ability.

Try to ignore them hon- having said that, that's a bit rich coming from me who has the same sort of issue! X

 

[Piglet's Mama]

Kay, you're so right; alot of these things are MY firsts and I don't want to share them and I feel like "why should I?" it might be selfish but I just want to be left alone! I don't want to fall out if I can avoid it but I've had this sh1t for 6 years, when we moved to our first flat, when we bought our house, when we got married and now I just can't take it anymore. Had a bit of a go at hubby on the phone and said he needs to think about where his loyalties lie as I'm sick of being made to feel like second fiddle to his sister, mother etc!

Annie - I think you are right too, I already do feel like a mummy lioness, I dread the first few days with people coming round and wanting to hold the baby, I've already said to my Mum I need her there at that point to help deal with MIL, SIL. But it is just them, I know I will be fine with my Mum, family, friends - it's just with these two. They are so two faced, all nice to my face then making sly comments behind my back. I don't want them and their poison anywhere near my baby but my hands are tied x

 

[Kay1987]

It can be very frustrating, i was exactly he same, OH's mother doesnt have alot of common sense and i used 2 dread it if she had my son and the first time i ever left him with her i was a nervous wreck! As hard as it will be u have to try and remember that they are going to be babys aunt and grandmother and ur baby will love them 2 bits regardless of your own feelings. My son LOVES his Nana and i sometimes have 2 let things go and bite my tongue for his sake coz hes so happy to be with her. As for your pregnancy its yours and only yours so enjoy it!! x

 

[KellyHook]

aw jen, sorry they are getting to you... i know how you feel, my family are great but my OH.. argh they drive me up the wall... My SIL even said the other day 'I soo hope you have a girl' even though she knows that me and OH would like a little boy as we already have brooke!! i turned round and said, we would like a boy.. and she said well thats not the way it was ment to go! I (meaning SIL )was ment to have a boy first and then you... she was trying for 6 months to fall pregnant and it didnt happen, and because i fell pregnant on my first cycle i think she feels a little bit jealous!! but she has now decided to get married before trying again for her next baby! i wouldnt say anything like that to her, she should just be happy for us! and MIL gets digs in all the time, E.g we was talking about names and a couple of names she suggested and my OH suggested i didnt like.. so she gets all snotty with me and says 'looks like it will be kellys decision and no one elses' (OH is her goldenboy cant do anything wrong) as if im going to let our child be called something i hate!! but i dont care aslong as i have my OH and my family thats all i care about!!! Just do what you want hun, its your baby not theirs, they will have to get use to it!!! xx

 

[Piglet's Mama]

Kay - I can't imagine our child loving either of them LOL!

Kelly - I am going insane! We've had the same thing re names too. OH made the mistake of telling his Granddad the girls name we like, Lacey, and it's got back to MIL & SIL (what I REALLY wanted to avoid!) and we've had "Don't you think of Racy Lacey or Stacey" and "Well I don't like it (from the SIL) and Mum won't like it either" FFS! I DON'T WANT YOUR OPINION!

x

 

[Kay1987]

lol names thing drives me insane. my MIL wants us to call it Ross - Jonathan if its a boy which is OH and his brothers name! is she for real! when i said no she said what about "stuart - Ian " which is their middle names! ha! She always turns her nose up at whatever i say i like coz they r 2 modern 4 her so now i say NOTHING! x

 

[KellyHook]

On certain names that i like i told MIL , she said... I am not going to call my grandchild that, its soo embarrasing!!

You will call it what i F'ing decide you witch!!! lol obviously i didnt say that to her, but really wanted to!!

Argh families... xx

 

[KellyHook]

lol names thing drives me insane. my MIL wants us to call it Ross - Jonathan if its a boy which is OH and his brothers name! is she for real! when i said no she said what about "stuart - Ian " which is their middle names! ha! She always turns her nose up at whatever i say i like coz they r 2 modern 4 her so now i say NOTHING! x

MIL suggested i called the baby Debralina if its a girl.. WTF... (sorry if anybody likes it lol )

her name is deborah, so wanted to have a part in the name!!! Seriously

 

[Kay1987]

lol i know its like they think they have the final say! they actually have the cheek to laugh at some of the names i say when i obviously like it and then hit out with something like "what about Nigel" lol x

 

[Kay1987]

MIL suggested i called the baby Debralina if its a girl.. WTF... (sorry if anybody likes it lol )

her name is deborah, so wanted to have a part in the name!!! Seriously

Actually made me LOL! x

 

[KellyHook]

lol i know its like they think they have the final say! they actually have the cheek to laugh at some of the names i say when i obviously like it and then hit out with something like "what about Nigel" lol x

who names there kids NIGEL these days..

 

[Piglet's Mama]

OMG - I can imagine my MIL saying that to me, if she does I'm gonna knock her out!

My MIL has suggested:
Bruce, Gary, Taio, Clint, Dino, Romeo, Tikka, Chille, Safari... she is deadly serious as well!

And they turn their noses up at my suggestions! It's a joke! x

 

[Piglet's Mama]

lol i know its like they think they have the final say! they actually have the cheek to laugh at some of the names i say when i obviously like it and then hit out with something like "what about Nigel" lol x

OMG Kay - I know; why do they think their opinions count for anything? x

 

[Kay1987]

Shes on a differnt planet. She is so desperate to find out what were having (which im not going 2 do) and 2 pick a name she likes, shes pushing really hard 4 it trying to change my mind which makes me more determined 2 do it MY way. i honestly couldnt care less what they think of the name coz theres not a chance in hell i'll be giving birth to baby Nigel!! x

 

[Kay1987]

who would name their child after a curry!?! i mean Tikka FFS!!! x

 

[Piglet's Mama]

who would name their child after a curry!?! i mean Tikka FFS!!! x

I know!

This is what I'm dealing with! x

 

[Kay1987]

God help u Jenny, that is gunna b hard work!! haha! Lacey is lovely by the way, bugger them! x

 

[Piglet's Mama]

Awww thank you hun.

God, give me strength... x