What does everyone think

[kaz1983]

I don't think you are being unreasonable and unlike what done people have said she isn't being unreasonable either she us just trying to help you out the best she can she just hasn't gone about in the best way lol I'd take her ip in the offer to come round once a week so you can either sleep, have a bath, clean etc whatever . But every day would be too much x

Thanks Roxanne

I know she means well but it wasny a question of could she come round it was she WAS coming round whether I liked it or not. I do want her round like you say maybe once a week. Hubby works shifts so he is either at home 2 or 3 days through the week then all weekend every second weekend xx

Are you sure your SIL isn't my MIL? Lol. I've had the same gesture from her too except, as she's retired, it's every single day! Had to say to oh and he said to her we'd like a heads up if she wants to visit instead of just turning up (she has a key...).

Anywho, think you're well within your rights to say nicely that, while that's a great offer, you're going to play things by ear. If you do feel exhausted and need a hand, she'll be the first to know xxx

Thanks EssJayPea

Oh dear you have got it worse than me lol but you are right to ask for a heads up when she is coming round and not to just let herself in as she never knows you might be sleeping or just having you, OH and baby time or you and baby time etc

They are just down the road so could be here in a couple minutes if we needed them. My mum doesny work but she wouldny dream of just coming over (she doesny drive so would have to get the bus or wait for my dad geting home) she even asked me if hiubby would mind her looking after minion some days once I go back to work I was like "mum you have had two kids of your own, granted you cany get rid of them as me nad my brother keep appearing for dinner at least once a week" but of course hubby wont mind you looking after minion xx

 

[K80]

This is my worst nightmare at the moment. I always get stressed with visitors at the best of times - worry about the state of house, what I'm wearing, should I offer coffee, is the dog annoying them ... That kinda thing. I know we'll have lots of new visitors when baby comes inc people who we don't see often and haven't been to house before - I'm dreading it. Also I am so worried about lack of sleep (I don't cope well!!) and I know that il want to doze when I can get the chance - not entertain guests!!!!
It's such a tough call - on the one hand it'd be best to make things clear straight away. I'm planning on saying to my granny and mum "give me a text or call to make sure I'm
In and not sleeping before u pop roun" so they get the idea they can't just wander in.
But on other hand people can be so touchy and u don't want to offend anyone.
.......as if there wasn't enough to worry about at this time in our lives!!!!

 

[kaz1983]

[/QUOTE]

Have you said to your mum and MIL that this is what you want just wondered their reaction?

No it doesnyt mean it is wrong for your SIL not to have bathed her child I just cant wait to dress minion and feed them and bath and interact with them Im a big kid myself as is hubby so think we will fit in wth minion just grand lol xx[/QUOTE]

I have just left it at 'we will see how it goes'.... I don't want to create bad feelings.

Hubby and I are exactly the same we are always joking around so hopefully between us we will work a nice little routine out and get through it together xx[/QUOTE]

Yeh think I will do that next time the subject comes up as obviously hubby and I dont know how we are going to feel once minion is here obviously we are gonna be over the moon but you know emotionally and physically etc

I think thats the best way to have a laugh and a joke and it makes life so much easier xx

 

[EssJayPea]

Waaa I just did a mammoth reply then clicked previous post instead of reply!!

Xxx

 

[roxane 1985]

I don't think you are being unreasonable and unlike what done people have said she isn't being unreasonable either she us just trying to help you out the best she can she just hasn't gone about in the best way lol I'd take her ip in the offer to come round once a week so you can either sleep, have a bath, clean etc whatever . But every day would be too much x

Thanks Roxanne

I know she means well but it wasny a question of could she come round it was she WAS coming round whether I liked it or not. I do want her round like you say maybe once a week. Hubby works shifts so he is either at home 2 or 3 days through the week then all weekend every second weekend xx

Are you sure your SIL isn't my MIL? Lol. I've had the same gesture from her too except, as she's retired, it's every single day! Had to say to oh and he said to her we'd like a heads up if she wants to visit instead of just turning up (she has a key...).

Anywho, think you're well within your rights to say nicely that, while that's a great offer, you're going to play things by ear. If you do feel exhausted and need a hand, she'll be the first to know xxx

Thanks EssJayPea

Oh dear you have got it worse than me lol but you are right to ask for a heads up when she is coming round and not to just let herself in as she never knows you might be sleeping or just having you, OH and baby time or you and baby time etc

They are just down the road so could be here in a couple minutes if we needed them. My mum doesny work but she wouldny dream of just coming over (she doesny drive so would have to get the bus or wait for my dad geting home) she even asked me if hiubby would mind her looking after minion some days once I go back to work I was like "mum you have had two kids of your own, granted you cany get rid of them as me nad my brother keep appearing for dinner at least once a week" but of course hubby wont mind you looking after minion xx

trouble is sometime family and friends can be less helpfull , they think they are doing the right thing,and right or wrong probably assumed you would want someone there all the time lol. i would sit her down and say you really appreciate her offer of coming round to help but you will honestly be fine but arrange to meet up once a week on her day off for coffee and a gossip (op she doesnt feel like you are blowing her off completely,plus it will do you good having that)

 

[kaz1983]

Waaa I just did a mammoth reply then clicked previous post instead of reply!!

Xxx

oops lol xxx

 

[VikkiR]

Trust me, you'll be grateful for it if your lo ha trapped wind and/or colic, I wish I had someone to come once a week, nevermind once a day 4 hours sleep every 48 hours is not fun xx

 

[lisaloo]

good lord Kaz, not at all! When you've just had a baby you want to get used to having a new family just the three of you, you dont need a live in babysitter! xx I'd just be straight with her and say that your very grateful but in the begining you and paul want your space to be able to be new parents and that you'll call when you need a helping hand x

 

[kaz1983]

Trust me, you'll be grateful for it if your lo ha trapped wind and/or colic, I wish I had someone to come once a week, nevermind once a day 4 hours sleep every 48 hours is not fun xx

Thanks. I know I sound ungrateful and re\lly Im not just wana have a litle time to get into a routine then deal with things as they happen xx

good lord Kaz, not at all! When you've just had a baby you want to get used to having a new family just the three of you, you dont need a live in babysitter! xx I'd just be straight with her and say that your very grateful but in the begining you and paul want your space to be able to be new parents and that you'll call when you need a helping hand x

Yeh think Im gonna have to be will see if its mentioned again and will mention it then before it gets too far down the line xx

 

[Violet]

This is my worst nightmare at the moment. I always get stressed with visitors at the best of times - worry about the state of house, what I'm wearing, should I offer coffee, is the dog annoying them ... That kinda thing. I know we'll have lots of new visitors when baby comes inc people who we don't see often and haven't been to house before - I'm dreading it. Also I am so worried about lack of sleep (I don't cope well!!) and I know that il want to doze when I can get the chance - not entertain guests!!!!
It's such a tough call - on the one hand it'd be best to make things clear straight away. I'm planning on saying to my granny and mum "give me a text or call to make sure I'm
In and not sleeping before u pop roun" so they get the idea they can't just wander in.
But on other hand people can be so touchy and u don't want to offend anyone.
.......as if there wasn't enough to worry about at this time in our lives!!!!

I'm exactly like this. I rarely get visitors too, so it makes it all the more stressful when peeps do come round as I'm not used to it. I've only got a small family, mom, dad, bro and his fiancée.

My MIL and her family have only been round mine twice in all the time I've known them as they live a 2 1/2 hr drive away and we mostly go to them. I know she wants to know when I go into labour so she can drive up and that's fine, but I've made it clear (hopefully) that I'm expecting her to go round my parents house and wait at the house with them until I'm ready for them to come to the hospital. I think my mom was a bit surprised when I said I wanted her to wait at home, but I hate the thought of everyone in the waiting room and I know peeps will be more comfortable at home. My worry with them is how long will they want to stay up here, but I'll broach that subject a bit closer to the time I think.

My mom is really excited and I know she'll want a lot of contact, especially early on, but me and my mom don't get on well if we spend too much time together (ok we argue lots lol!), but I know she'll take the hump if I say anything. It's not going to be easy to get nice spacing on her visits.

 

[Lulabell]

You said the right thing. I would just be honest with her and say that you need the time to bond and get into routine with your LO. And you need to do this you and your oh alone. Tell her she can visit, but not every day. Only when you want her there.x