Need some advice please, worrying

[orangefluff]

Well, OH called from Afghan last night and he let me know that he doesn't have any cover for if he needs to stay here for any extra days on his leave. He's due back here on the 30th for 2 weeks R&R to coincide with my due date on the 5th Dec and has to fly back on the 13th.

I have been ok with this up until now as I had stupidly got my hopes up that he would probably be able to stay a bit longer, say if I went overdue or had complications like a c-sec or something. But last night I came back down to reality with a bump as I realised that he's here for such a short time and there is nothing I can really do to make sure I have baby before or on my due date.

It's not something I want at all but I said that I would talk to the midwives tomorrow about the possibiity of being induced. I really don't want to as I don't think it's natural and I'm worried about the increased pain and stress but I'm also worried that if I go really overdue either OH will only have a couple days with baby or he could even go back before I've had the baby and I think that could affect me mentally quite badly.
He has spoken to the welfare people and they have basically said 'we'll cross that bridge when we come to it' if he needs any extra time but I know how bad they can be and at the end of the day OH has to follow orders.

What do you girls think? I know a lot of women get induced but not often out of choice. I'm worried about making the wrong choice and feeling bad about it for myself, baby, OH or all of us, it's so hard. Or am I just stressing too much too soon? I guess after all baby could be on time then I wouldn't have to worry!!

 

[Emmamb]

I doubt ur mw would put u forward for induction but she may give u a membrane sweep to try and help things along. Fx bubs is on time or early xxx

 

[flexilexi394]

I think you need to relax more than anything, and you still have a couple of weeks and anything could happen! It must be scary for you as not a lot of us have this situation, and I think it's amazing that your about to do a lot alone. I hope baby comes on time and you have an on time baby xx

 

[orangefluff]

I doubt ur mw would put u forward for induction but she may give u a membrane sweep to try and help things along. Fx bubs is on time or early xxx

Really? Am I being naive about the whole induction thing? A couple of people have said to me that MW might put me in for one in these circumstances. Thinking about it though I guess from their point of view it could be a waste of resources etc....

 

[orangefluff]

I think you need to relax more than anything, and you still have a couple of weeks and anything could happen! It must be scary for you as not a lot of us have this situation, and I think it's amazing that your about to do a lot alone. I hope baby comes on time and you have an on time baby xx

Thanks hun you're right, I do need to relax, I've been so good up until that phone call last night!! I didn't realise I'd got my hopes up until he said that he couldn't get cover and got pretty upset - was the first time I've got weepy on the phone to him since he's been gone.

I must chill I know and just try to convince baby to come out - raspberry tea, pineapple, curry, etc etc!!!!

 

[JJ Mum]

Oh I hope baby does come in the window, your right it's so hard for you guys like you and Frankie to get OH back and stay back to not mioss out and help you. I really don't think the services think enougth about familys when pregnant, after what they do for a job for us.

I would try every trick in the book hunt to get yourself ready like the tea, and the primrose oil thing and currys and relaxing . I don't know about induction and the rules, but you could ask your midwfie next on her views on this and props and cons and then maybee she would sweep you early?

 

[frankie707]

Oh hon, know exactly how you feel - we've had dates etc changed so much recently.

I asked midwife about induction and she said that they stick to their 10 days overdue rule unless there are medical reasons, she said that the mental impact on me would be considered but an induction can increase risk of c-section and so that would leave me in a worse state with new baby, DH leaving and operation to recover from. However, saying that I'e heard that in areas that are heavily military they can have a different attitude to it as they are much more used to OHs dissapearing off so you may get a different answer.

I'm taking the raspberry leave tablets, EPO and staying as active as possible to try and encourage this LO out asap - not that worried about doing the birth thing when he's away just want him to meet his child and be able to help me out for a few days when baby is here.

Definitely talk through all your options with midwife, I'm going to speak to mine about their policy on sweeps when I go next at 39 weeks.

 

[sexyamy2005]

my MW said that they will induce u if ur partners at risk of missing the birth cos of being in the forces, this was mentioned at my booking appt, so not sure if things have changed or depend on ur location, but id push for it hun, its gona help daddy bond with baby and also prevent any added stress on you,

luckly for me my hubby is a sports coach, so only has to find cover for the class he is teaching when i give him the all important phone call, but i kno 4 yrs ago when my cousin had her daughter (her hubby is in the forces) they set her off at 39wks to ensure he had time with baby and i think because u are so far on, and babys just gathering weight, they wouldnt see it as a big problem,

id mention it to M/W and see what she says,

good luck hun

xxx

 

[orangefluff]

Oh hon, know exactly how you feel - we've had dates etc changed so much recently.

I asked midwife about induction and she said that they stick to their 10 days overdue rule unless there are medical reasons, she said that the mental impact on me would be considered but an induction can increase risk of c-section and so that would leave me in a worse state with new baby, DH leaving and operation to recover from. However, saying that I'e heard that in areas that are heavily military they can have a different attitude to it as they are much more used to OHs dissapearing off so you may get a different answer.

I'm taking the raspberry leave tablets, EPO and staying as active as possible to try and encourage this LO out asap - not that worried about doing the birth thing when he's away just want him to meet his child and be able to help me out for a few days when baby is here.

Definitely talk through all your options with midwife, I'm going to speak to mine about their policy on sweeps when I go next at 39 weeks.

Thanks Frankie, yeah maybe around here the midwives are used to this kind of thing, I guess I just need to discuss it with someone - don't know why but I'm a bit nervous to do it although it would only be discussing it! I don't want them to judge me, I would not be considering this if it weren't for the small window we have. How have I turned into such a worrier after only one bloody phonecall?? I've been so chilled about it all this far!! Prob has something to do with the fact that I said something to OH which came out the wrong way and now I can't stop thinking about it and I won't be able to speak to him again for a few days. Maybe the emotional pregnancy hormones have kicked in again....

Good point about the birth though, I think I can do that without him, even though he'd be gutted if he wasn't there, but I would love to have a bit of bonding time and help once bubs in in the world.

 

[orangefluff]

my MW said that they will induce u if ur partners at risk of missing the birth cos of being in the forces, this was mentioned at my booking appt, so not sure if things have changed or depend on ur location, but id push for it hun, its gona help daddy bond with baby and also prevent any added stress on you,

luckly for me my hubby is a sports coach, so only has to find cover for the class he is teaching when i give him the all important phone call, but i kno 4 yrs ago when my cousin had her daughter (her hubby is in the forces) they set her off at 39wks to ensure he had time with baby and i think because u are so far on, and babys just gathering weight, they wouldnt see it as a big problem,

id mention it to M/W and see what she says,

good luck hun

xxx

Thanks Amy. Wow just looked at your ticker, really not long for you now!!

 

[midnight]

id ask if i was you the worst they can say is no and they will most likely start off with a sweep if your cervix is favourable and as soon as your OH is home you can try the sex thing to see if that helps. they wont think you are silly for asking or anything like that they must of come across it before and it i agree its rediculous that there isnt something in place for dads in this situation

 

[frankie707]

I was worried about asking too - thought she would think I was being selfish /thought baby was an accessory I could have at my demand but she was really nice and understood that I was upset about the whole thing. Dont be worried about asking - looking at where you live I reckon they will be very used to it and hopefully their policy is to try and get you going in time for OH to be around.
Did you speak to mw yet? Hope you're feeling less stressed today

 

[orangefluff]

Ok just spoke to a midwife at my practice regarding their policy on inductions. She said they will wait 10-11 days if baby is ok and no complications. I explained to her about OH and his leave dates and she said to speak to my midwife at my home appt next Thurs. She said that in that case it would be a decision that would need to be made by the hospital, the midwives can't decide.
So that's all understandable and fair enough. Still burst into tears when I got off the phone though, what's happening to me?! I need to keep it together!!!!

 

[Mervs Mum]

I would NEVER advise induction on anything other than GENUINE medical grounds. Do you know your uterus is more likely to rupture during an induction than it is when having a vaginal birth after a c-section - it's importnat to know that induction carries risks to you and your baby.

What about trying some reflexology? It can be VERY effective! My last lady went into labour within hours of her first treatment!!
If you look for reflexologists on Google then ring them and 'interview' them about their experience and success rates with pregnant women - tell them you are talking to a few and will get back to them. You wouldnt buy the first house that seemed to fit the bill without checking out a few more so check round and see which you like the sound of. The lady who did my clients has a 70% success rate with one session after EDD so if you can get someone experienced, a couple of sessions might do the trick. Acupuncture too - although that's slightly more aggressive and can lead to meconium. x