Need help with sister

[h33]

Hiya ladies

I need some help with my sister she is 7 years older than me and we have always wanted kids and a family and we both started trying for kids together unfortunatly for her she had a lot of problems concieving so while i went on to have Willow and Conal she went in for treatment.

About 9 months ago she got pregnant and unfortunatly for her she miscarried, she is now pregnant again 23 weeks and she is just worrying all the time and won't enjoy her pregnancy and i don't know what to do tohelp her.

I tryed saying everything would be fine withe her last pregnancy and it wasn't so i don't now how to get her out of panic and worry mode and into happy and excited mode, i know it is only natural for her to be like that but i am worried that if she never enjoys being pregnant that she won't enjoy her baby and will worry about it all the time.

How did everyone that has been though loosing a baby eventually enjoy the fact that they were having another.

Thanks

Heather

 

[xJodieLoux]

I really don't know what you could say or do, to be honest I don't think you could turn her way of thinking around. No matter how many people tell her it's going to be ok, it's her who has to choose to believe them. Don't talk, listen, sit down and get her to tell you everything that's on her mind. Even if you just sit in silence and she goes on about her worries, feeling's about her previous loss, for hour's. That might do her alot of good to get it all off of her chest, rather than her starting to tell about her worries and be stopped straight away and told everything is ok. I'm not saying you don't listen but I know alot of the time when somebody has a worry and they begin talking the other person quickly jumps in with "Don't worry, you'll be fine" and that's the end of the conversation.

 

[tracey 2]

its hard hun i know but there is no way that you can turn around what she is feeling, its only natural. You can take her mind off it only so much but it will get better, i think as long as your there for her if she wants to chat or maybe do something together to help her relax and unwind for a while it will help.

all the best to your sister hope all goes well for her

 

[happy-chick]

I agree with the others hun, there isnt really alot that you can do but taking her mind off things would be good.

Good luck to you both xx

 

[h33]

Hiya

Thanks fir replying i do try and listen and take her mind of it but sometimes i feel like i'm such a fraud i have fortunatly never lost one and i have 2 beatiful children while she was trying just to have 1 so how can i comfort her in her loss.

I just feel she tried so hard to get pregnant i want her to enjoy it she's missing out on so much all the excitment of buying clothes, prams, toys and everytime she goes for a doctors appointment or scan she hinks something is going to be wrong instead of being excited to see or hear her baby.

I hope that doesn't sound harsh but i don't know how else to explain it

Heather

 

[tracey 2]

it doesnt sound harsh hun not at all, i can kind of understand how your sister feels its not the same i know but when i found out i was pregnant shortly after my m/c i was so nervous and scared just waiting for it all to go wrong.

you wait till she has that lovely baby in her arms and i guarentee you she will be the proudest happiest mum ever.

 

[vicfion]

I may not be any help but I had similiar experience as your sister... It took me almost a year to get pregnant.. The dissapointment and all.. Eventually I got pregnant but found out the baby has no growth at about 2 months if not mistaken... Had a few scan to confirm and was so sad one after another scan... And eventually have to go through D & C... The night before admitted to hospital out of nothing I just cry and cry and cry... Very fast after a month of rest I got pregnant again.. and same thing all over again I got spotting and all but I was able to pull it off and have a beautiful girl even thought she was under weight (about 4 pounce).. She came out fine and now a 7 years old healthy girl During being pregnant with her I worry night and day and even had nightmare.. One time I remember I dreamed of a dead baby in a box and this has made my pregnancy filled with worries... So I guess it comes naturally for your sister to be worry.. All you can do now is be there for her whenever she needs you.... Just keep her out of stress... And watch out her diet... Just basically be there for her.... Now all came out fine.. My second one has no problem.. Even my third pregnancy had a little scary moment (bleed for an hour),all turned out fine.. I just hope your sister will enjoy every moment of her little angel inside her Update us Fiona