It's just not fair!! :(

[kanga86]

As some of u may know I was pregnant at the same time as a girl (let's call her Sarah) at work, she is now 14 weeks like I should be!! Which is hard enough in it's self as I have to see her go through it with no problems. Her baby was an accident and mine was planned, so why was mine taken away! Not saying I deserve it more than her but it doesn't seem fair to me

I am on my 2nd day back at work after 3 weeks off and finding it hard to stay strong. I just spoke to my manager and he told me that (lets say Chloe) another one of the cleaners I supervise and the sister of Sarah is also pregnant! As far as I know she isn't in a relationship either. I think she only got pregnant because her sister did and she didn't like how her younger sister was pregnant before her!!

It's so not fair that all I want is a baby, my baby back, and everyone else is pregnant or getting pregnant! Even my cousin is currently pregnant and splashing it all over facebook about how rough she feels, I just want to tell her to fuck off!

No real meaning of this post other than to moan, feeling very sorry for myself and to make matters worse I am still bleeding 18 days after the initial bleeding and day 14 after passing everything! When will this end! Struggling to see the positives of anything at the mo xxx

 

[knopk@]

Oh hun, I was in the same situation last year - I lost my bean and everyone around was getting pregnant, at some point I just stopped socialising it was so hard. Trust me, it will get better with time but hopefully you will have another bean very soon. The positive side is that you did get pregnant so you will again, I am sure. Big hug

 

[MrsHakaxjdx]

i agree with knopk@. we lost our baby last year and there where loads of people at work pregnant, even due a couple of days after i would of been. i hated watching them buying stuff from work for their babies. we got pregnant again hun, im sure you will be again!!
Life is sh*t at times, stay positive, your loss will make you stronger x x x

 

[laurat]

Oh honey, its just so hard! Everyone else in the world appears to be pregnant and have no problems! Not that any of us wish they do! You are not alone in these feelings and it is natural to feel this way. Ive found there are good times and bad and you just have to try to stay strong. Getting back to work will eventually hopefully keep you occupied. Spend time with your oh and if you feel you need to go back to the dr about the bleeding then do! Big Hugsxx

 

[sarah1]

Hey Kanga, sometimes life just sucks doesn't it? I feel exactly like you on some days.

I thought I was dealing fine with our 18 month failure TTC and losses, but saw my friend yesterday his gf is pg with their 2nd....he just talked loads about how ill she has been and how they can't go on holiday like us etc etc etc and I just wanted to scream 'yes, but you got the baby!'. Its so annoying when people say 'it'll happen for you' when they have no idea if it actually will. Sorry, thats not helping is it?!Just wanted to let you know you aren't alone even though you feel like you are. It truly is the most awful thing, no matter what kind of silly hopeful stories and words people make up. You need time to grieve and feel better. Maybe take a holiday or a little break away if you feel up to it?
I would deffo go back to the doc with your bleeding, that seems too long. Do you have any pain or feeling ill besides the bleeding? I had an infection last time and I was bleeding and felt a bit like I was getting flu, so if you feel like that then deffo see the doc.

Hang in there, I promise taking it day by day (and hiding away from all the pregnant ladies everywhere) you will start to feel better and more human again. xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

 

[kanga86]

I haven't had any pain or feel ill at all since the mc happened. I was going to leave it til friday before phoning the socs again aboit the bleeding, hopefully by then it will have gone. I really want to get away from everything until I am pregnant again. But because I have been off for 3 weeks waiting for things to happen, I'm only getting paid ssp! Which means next month we will have next to no money, really wish we could go on holiday just me and my oh. Everything sucks at the mo.

Satah1 I am grateful for ur honesty, being told it will happen and u have been pregnant before so no reason for it not to happen again really don't seem to help especially when all u want is ur baby back. I really don't k ow how people cope going through this more than once, especially if it takes a while to get pregnant in the first place, I really hope u get ur bean soon sarah1. We were only trying 2 months when I conceived so hoping it won't take too long. But u never k ow what will happen next time!

Feeling a bit better now after a rant and time to calm down but when I was told it was like being slapped in the face!! I feel like such a failure to my oh as I couldnt grow our bean! Although he blames himself! U can't win either way and nothing u can do can stop these feelings, just bury them with positive thoughts xxx

 

[EllieC]

oh hun! so know how you are feeling. sending you loads of hugs, you so deserve them. I hate how when you go back to work after a couple of hours its like everyone thinks, 'shes ok now' when that so isnt the case. Thinking of you xxxxx

 

[dyscochick]

Big hugs kanga, I'm where you were 3 weeks ago, having had a very long day of cramps and bleeds. So many friends are pregnant and have little ones I'm not sure how I'll cope back in the real world. My heart goes out to you with 2 people so close to you at work being pregnant, it must be so hard. big hugs xxx

 

[kanga86]

The weird thing is I am finding it harder to deal with now than I did then!! I really hope u don't suffer to much today dysco, thinking of u.

Any advice need just ask, although mine was natural I might be able to answer some if u questions xx

 

[Nurse 26]

kanga, its really tough seeing others pregnancy news, i hope you are ok, as the others said your time will come and it will be extra special

 

[TORino]

It's really horrible going through all of this, big hugs xxxx

I have only just started feeling 'back to my old self'.. if that is even possible. It still stings a little when people announce pregnancies, even now. Since I had my miscarriage at least 4 of my FB friends have announced their pregnancies, so did a girl I work with (who is due 2 weeks after I would have been). The worst thing was my SIL announced her pregnancy about a month after my loss, I was gutted. I almost went off the rails with that one, especially as she had said when we told her she wasn't trying so it was unexpected.