Need help with my mother!! *Updated with photos*

[Jollypops]

Guys i need your help cos i dont know how to deal with this.
Since telling my mum i'm expecting shes been out buying the same as all mums i'm sure, but the thing is the bits are awful.

We've tried to explain nicely that we dont need anymore or that we dont need that colour but its still happening to the point that i have booked a 4d scan today to find the sex out to hopefully get her to stop buying such hideous outfits.

I will post pictures later but to give you an idea most items are now mint green (hat, mits, vests), plus small crochet blanket again in white and mint green , and all i can describe as really tacky bits.

Dont get me wrong i dont want expensive items, our bits we've got from asda, tescos etc but its just what they are.

How do i get her to stop??? Do you think telling her its a boy or a girl will stop her buying mint green?? Have you had to deal with something simular?

 

[MissyRee]

First off a hug is clearly in order! Luckily my mums bought bits tht we've liked but if she bought something i wasnt keen on i think id either just say its abit different to what we'd like to put him in or id just never put him in it lol.. I think finding out the sex could definitely help you as she'd be more likely to go with the colours for tht team and probably avoid the mint green! Lol im intrigued by the pictures to come x

 

[Mildly]

Aww Jollypops what a situation! Do you think that telling your Mum the sex will mean you get the same outfits but in either pink or blue? So they will be just as hideous, perhaps?

I'm quite lucky as my Mum had a look and got bored, I think she'll buy stuff after LO is here. I have already stipulated NO PINK (family and friends are still unaware we are having a boy but are aware I'm not a fan of pink stuff regardless ) and I think my Mum really wants a Granddaughter so she is holding out until our 'daughter' is born before she goes mad on stuff

It might be a good idea to take your Mum aside and gently tell her that you want to buy all the clothes yourself but would really appreciate help with bigger items and then give her a list of bottles/sterilizers/breast pump/nursery items that you want. That way, although she'll be hurt but still feel needed hopefully. I don't envy you, it is a difficult situation

Looking forward to seeing the hideous clothes though

*Really sorry if you've been offended over my pink comments anyone, I don't mind pink but I don't like an overload. TBH I don't really like an overload of blue either - I saw a nursery entirely in blue and thought it looked very cold. Oscar will mostly wearing khaki and oranges/reds/greens I think. As would my daughter if I had one

 

[Hazel]

My MIL has gone a bit mad on stuff. First granddaughter

She's doing me a gift basket but I have told her not to go to mad as I want the enjoyment of buying things myself.

I must admit I'm dreading the dresses she'll get. I went shopping with SIL yesterday and even she said be prepared for the frilly dresses but I will just smile and accept them as I don't want to hurt her feelings.

I'm not a frilly dress person but more wellies and jeans type of girl.

 

[nickilubs]

I would ask her if she could get you some vouchers so that you can spend them when he/she is born everyone gets loads of clothes before and straight away when your babes born but within a year they have grown out if it all and your left with lots of clothes that don't fit. Hehehe awwww Im dreading the things Im going to be landed with! Cant wait to see the pictures!!!!

 

[MagicMarkers]

oh dear lol roll on 20 week scan ! Couldnt you just tell her you HATE green, theres other unisex colours after all lemon, browns creams and beiges, or tell her that you want to go on a big shopping spree with her once you know what your having so save her money til then ?!?! That way you can sort of reign in her tackiness ?!!?

 

[HideiLu]

Oooooh dear!! I even see the bear on your sig has a mint green balloon from her too!

Is it just the colour of the style?

Maybe try mentioning other things that you need in the hope it will steer her away from the clothes? Or arrange a day to go shopping together, and she'll get a better idea on what you like and may hold off buying until then?

 

[aramintalovegrove]

Oh I feel for you we had exactly that with my MIL when we first had my DS, I put up with it for a while but as he got older the clothes became hideous so we had to say something!

Basically I sat her down and explained that although I really apprichiated(sp?) all the money and time she was taking to buy stuff, we did not have the same taste and would not put DS in it. We agreed on shops that she couldnt get it wrong (debenhams and gap mainly) with the proviso that we also had the reciepts.

I also arranged a shopping trip once in a while so we could both go out together to get stuff and she would buy (used to use blue cross sales as good times to do this)

Gradually she has got my style and I can let her go out and get stuff (also DS has his own sense of style now which is very handy as he has good taste) I can also say politley sorry I dont like that, sorry its not my style and she isnt offended.

I dread having a girl this time as I think we will have to educate again, BUT I have already said to her that she will have to get to know what we will prefer if it is pink!!

 

[Jollypops]

Ok here goes..........(Some dont look that bad in photos now!)

The above i dont like

This hat my friend can fit on her head (Shes 32!)

This is ok if we have a girl

This i dont like and is hugh

These are fine if we're having a girl

These are way to big and ok if its a boy!!


Wouldnt mind if it was unisex!

 

[Jollypops]

Batteries have died in my camera so will have to post the rest when there charged again

 

[Mildly]

They are very girl orientated It seems a bizarre choice of stuff though. I would definitely have a word with her, some of the other girls appear to have their MILs and Mums quite well trained in terms of taste I hope she isn't too sensitive

 

[nickilubs]

The first 3 are sorry they just are!!! My OH likes the bibs though

I like the yellow cardi and the girls stuff the last girls baby grow is cute!.....just defo not that hoodie and green tracksuit bottom type things!

I think you should really ask her to stick to neutral! Suddenly get a thing for cream and brown and keep on and on about how lovely babys look in fresh white colours! Green stuff reminds me of toothpaste.

 

[Laur_250]

Ooooh I see what you mean! My MIL has been knitting mad and before we found out the sex she was doing everything white, which is ok but there's only so many frilly white cardigons, hats, etc a BOY can wear! So when we found out it was a boy we just basically said we only want blue/brown, etc now so she's got some new ones coming. I also found a book and copied the things I liked to give her, a subtle hint but maybe you can try this? Show her a catalogue and highlight things you like?? Or simply tell her you dont want any clothes until you know the sex as you want them to wear certain colours once you find out as you dont like dressing them all in neutral and wanna make it clear they are a boy/girl. Good luck I know its hard!xx

 

[Jollypops]

Cheers for your replies girls. Sometimes i think its just me, but you have confirmed my thoughts!
I told mum at the begining that we wanted neutral, browns, biege, creams but that seemed to go to lemon and mint green
We have told her that all we wanted now was cardigans in cream or white and thats we ended up with the lemon and green cardi and the green blanket! Also said that she was buying girly things and what if it wasnt a girl, but it didnt seem to bother her.
Mum is really sensitive, this is her first grandchild as i'm the only daugther and it took us 12 years to get this far (and failed IVF) so can understand that shes happy cos the whole family are. I know i've upset her already as i got a text today to say that a lady at her works daugther had a girl over the weekend and said that i could send a card and give her some of the clothes mums given me

Me and mum dont have a close relationship, dont really know why, but i've always looked at it as though i'm the adult and shes the child, its always me thats had to sort things out (mum left my dad when i was about 1) and then met my step dad, got married and have been together on and off for the last 25 years!

She knows what we still need to get like carpet for the nursery, furniture i've showed her etc but just cant seem to stop her buying these awful cheap clothes....... did ask hubby the other day how i could damage them by mistake as i'm all over the place at the moment so maybe they might have to go on a very very hot boil wash or maybe get the cat to be sick on them or something.

Sorry for the long post

 

[Jollypops]

Mum couldn't be angry for long if they had an accident could she???

 

[dannii87]

LOL! Oh I'm so sorry to laugh

Poor you though! See, I'm really funny and I've said from day one what I like and what I don't. I'm terrible because I don't like kids TV programmes on T-Shirts and things... Like Barbie tops and Thomas the Tank Engine slippers or anything like that I also don't like flashing trainers (god I'm going to cause some strops in town aren't I! lol) But I've made it clear from the start and in fact, I've made people worry about what to buy me in case I don't like it lol!

I think it's so so sweet what she has done, going out and handpicking these little items for her first grandchild, so part of me wouldn't say anything because the thought that's involved it so lovely and sweet.

Maybe she's hoping this one's a girl so she can have a great relationship with her because yours and her relationship isn't as good as it could be? I think I would have a little think about WHY she is buying all these bits. A) they're cheap bits and bobs (not meant nasty in any sense! I buy cheap stuff from ebay!) so she finds them easy to pick up and put away for you...

How about saying "Mum seriously, I have TOO much stuff now! What with all the lovely bits you've bought and what everyone else is buying etc! If you want to start buying little things, how about nappies, baby wipes, talc, dummies etc" - Maybe that would work?

I think it would be a great shame if she felt like she wasn't needed in a way because she's clearly so excited and wants to buy these things. Bless her!

If things get really bad, and you've hinted that you don't need anything else, perhaps at that point you could sit her down and tell her how awful you feel for saying this and although the bits are fantastic and the thought is lovely, they're not really to your taste

There is a nice way of saying it, and you're lovely so it couldn't come out wrong whatever you say

xxx

 

[nickilubs]

I also don't like flashing trainers

OMG how could anyone not love flashing trainers!!!!!!!!!! Haha wait till Evie wants a pair of Lelli Kelli's!

 

[Jollypops]

There is a nice way of saying it, and you're lovely so it couldn't come out wrong whatever you say

Dannii i'm really not tacful - I say things as it is or as i see it (It hasnt worked so far )

A) they're cheap bits and bobs

You got it in one!!

How about saying "Mum seriously, I have TOO much stuff now! What with all the lovely bits you've bought and what everyone else is buying etc! If you want to start buying little things, how about nappies, baby wipes, talc, dummies etc" - Maybe that would work?

I thought by saying that i needed cardigans it would have helped!!

I dont want to stop her buying but just change her judgement in things, she should really know what we like being my mum!! I've showed her everything we've brought to keep her involved and showed her everything we want to get.

this gender scan does the job, not going to tell her we're having it until after though i think.

 

[mary70]

if i were u hun i would just accept everything and smile, i did this with my mother in law and then all the stuff i didnt like i gradually gave away on freecycle, they get so much stuff they never know they havent ore them

 

[Steelgoddess]

Sorry I had a little giggle too..

I can understand the stress behind it... Its hard to tell parents that kind of stuff without them getting hurt however you do need to tell her you are not finding out the sex so buying stuff which is for a girl or boy is not such a gr8 idea at this time, tis is a toughie though...