Need advice please ladies *update*

[JoJo79]

Ok so i have a close friend (one of the mums at school) last yr she sadly lost her baby at 15weeks pregnant, obviously extremly devastated about it (and the way she was treat was horrendous too)

I tried to be supportive ( i was/am here for her but not had this experience myself) then at xmas she confided in me she had sadly lost another bub

I again supported her and kept it quiet as she asked me too, now ive found out im expecting ive been trying to find a way to tell her,

Was gonna do it today til she told me she had decided to find out where they'd scattered her babies ashes and how she felt ready (its been 7 months now)

Obviously i didnt say anything bout me expecting, how do i tell her????

(sorry for essay) xxx

 

[Coco pops]

oh thats a horrible situation to be in but I am sure she would appreciate hearing from you first so I think its important to tell her before she either guesses or someone else tells her. Theres no easy way or time think you just have to bite the bullet....good luck xx

 

[JoJo79]

Thank hunni no one at school knows i want to take her to one side and tell her first before i tell anyone else at school

I know i shouldnt feel bad but i do, i know she'll be happy for me but at the same time i know how sad she'll be if that makes sense?

Just to find the right words xx

 

[angelmma]

Aww god thats a tough one as I know you dont want to 'hurt' her with your good news. My friend had a mc about 4 months ago and she was one of the first people I told, as I always confide her. I just broke it gently saying that I was pregnant and she was genuienly happy for me although did say she was wishing she was pregnant. And she does ask how my pregnancy is going, however I dont 'Flaunt' it, I always talk to her about normal stuff and keep pregnancy related stuff to a minimum as I know its still raw for her. Good luck, and congratulations on your pregnancy xxx

 

[JoJo79]

Thank you i know she'll be happy for me as i said its just do i wait a bit longer til she deals with her closure (her words) xx

 

[Princess81]

Well, maybe you could write it to her in a letter. And basically explain why you have found it so hard to tell her and explain that you didnt want to be insensitive. Therefore she can let it all sink in whilst she's reading? Just an idea x

 

[JoJo79]

Sounds good thank you xxxx

 

[Hemera]

I would hold off telling her until the 12 week scan, and then if the moment seems right in the meantime let her know.

 

[pinkyprincess]

My aunt had a miscarriage at Christmas slightly earlier than that and I was really worried about telling her but she was thrilled for me. In sure she'll be happy for you. Maybe take her for a coffee and tell her in a situation away from school?

 

[JoJo79]

Thanks everyone you've all been a big help xxxx

 

[Sarah13]

Was in the same situation with my friend, her baby died at 3 weeks old last year from a terrible chromosone thing that wasnt picked up till she was born and then she sadly told me when I was 6 weeks she had just had mc. It really upset me and I was so worried about telling her, even more so that our due dates would have been close together. I made sure she was one of the first to know after my 12 week scan and she was really happy for me. We also chatted about her baby and mc and was really open with each other. Must be hard for her and just hope things work out soon. Just be honest, open, and understanding, it will be a hard conversation though.

 

[pixie17]

i agree with those who say to tell her before she finds out elsewhere or guesses. I think your friend will be happy for you but will probably appear a bit sombre about it. although i agree with not 'flaunting' it she may feel worse if you dont speak to her about it at all. what about giving her a 'pass' in that if you bring up your pregnancy in conversation when she is feeling sensitive, tell her that she can say 'can we change the subject' or whatever suits and that it wont be taken offensively by you?

 

[JoJo79]

Ok so me and my friend were chatting yesterday and i just told her! She is over the moon for me really happy, she said she doesnt feel sad she wants first baby cuddles!

I explained how i wanted her to know before anyone else at school, she said she felt honoured

We've had a cuppa and a natter today and shes fine, phew,

Thanks again for all your advice ladies xxx

 

[pinkyprincess]

So glad everything went ok!

 

[BabysMomma]

Awk that's really nice. Hope she's ok and good luck with your pregnancy. x