my OH is sick of me - anpother one of my usual essays :-)

[Ginnymarie]

Hi guys

well, my OH is having a stressy time at work. He had a 4 day weekend and we got loads of house stuff done but we got 'really tetchy' with each other.

In the past, I was always quite indepedent and got out and about, visited friends,family, went on holiday loads without him as he is a bit of a boring fart and NEVER wants to go anywhere or do anything. He prefers his guitar, playstation or the pub....so I just used to do my own thing, which worked quite well as I even went travelling/trekking to Nepal without him and he let me go, he does not try to stop me.

He decided to start moaning at me at the weekend saying he never had anytime alone and I never left the house...I am 9months pregnant !!!! what does he expect me to do, climb everest, this of course set me off in tears, I feel too big, vulnerable and pregnant to go out and do thing on my own. He made me feel awful and seems to resetn me, says he is sick of worrying about me.

Is this him being worried about the labour, change in life and having a reaction, I hope so, cos normally he is pretty supportive. I really am not looking forward to him coming in from work in a mood again.

grrrrrrr

x

 

[Tick-Tock]

It sounds to me very much like he is stressing about his impending responsiblity..... not really had to worry about it as he hasn't had much to do these last 9 months, and not much that he can do wrong for the baby. but very soon its going to be a team effort and he is probably worried about getting everything right (that's how my OH explained it to me anyway).

J
XX

 

[Happybunny]

Aww poor you, you could really do without all the emotional stress of an argument at the minute.
I think you are right, if he is usually so supportive, maybe just the stress of work and the realisation of a big life changing event looming has made him snap - he probably doesn't mean anything nasty or horrible - but, being a typical bloke, he can't articulate his feelings properly.

I don't know what to suggest apart from maybe have a nice meal together (at home or out) and just chat about how you are both feeling, honestly and calmly and let him know that you are counting on him for his support.

I hope you are feeling ok in yourself, please don't let it get you down too much. The strain of the last few weeks are difficult enough without having to worry about this too.

 

[nikkimitch]

yep definitely sounds like stress related to impending change of life - my dh is hopeless round now until baby is about 6 weeks old!! - first time I took it very personally got very upset and even left on a couple of occasions (with the baby) with second baby wasnt so bad and with third I was experienced enough to give him a good talking to - this time round we have already had 'the chat' and am hoping he'll stay chilled and not take his stress and worry (he's a doc too so sees the worst in every scenario) out on me

hope things improve for you - concentrate on LO

 

[Bloom]

Aww theres no need for him to take his bad day out on you but you are probaly the closest person too him therefore he will vent at you. Hes probaly nervous and worried and has a whirlwind of emotions going round his head about the birth and baby.

I dont think its fair that he takes it out on you though, you have enough to cope wit without worrying about him. Maybe try talking to him and reassure him that its a massive life change for you too.

 

[jools02]

Same as Tick-Tock said really. I think men feel a little helpless when their OH's are expecting and what with this and all the worry about whether he can step up to the role and be a good father, can provide for his family etc they understandably get a little scared and anxious. I think most men find it hard to express their feelings and I'm sure he didn't mean to come across in the way he did.

 

[mummysarah+co]

my hubby got like this before i had ebony.
i think its having to adapt to the fact that there will soon be another mouth to feed and that everything will be quite different there will be a complete change in the way things are done, its so sudden for men whereas we go through the entire pregnancy and get to know the LO beforhand in our own ways.
it can be quite an anxious time for them (us too obviously!!) he has all the worries of whether he's closeby when you need him to take you to hospital and during labour etc.... hopefully this will pass as he starts to accept it more as the big day gets closer and closer. his anxieties should evolve into excitement!!! hope it all goes ok hun

 

[Ginnymarie]

thanks guys

you totally hit the nail on the head, the waiting game and limbo land is getting to him as is work and he can't like most men talk about it.

He is also worried about money and started making comments about saving and moaning about how expensive the car seat was etc...

I think it is all getting too much for him, he looks white as a sheet and was sick the other morning for no reason. I feel like I have to be the tough cookie for both of us right now...this is not good really seeing as it is me who will be going through lots of pain very soon

I must admit he was like this before our wedding, just like organising ALL the baby things, I organised all the wedding and he just turned up, they don't realise we have had months of worrying, preparing then right at the last min things dawn on them.

Thanks again guys so nice to get some affirmation on this x

 

[Suzie and Faith]

I can imagine it might be hard on the men sometimes but that's no excuse to take it out on us now is it! Silly them!
Don't worry though hun, i'm sure he'll adapt and everything will be fine.

P.S tell him to go out if he wants space, lol!

 

[Tillytots]

hang on in there hun, we havent got long to go now and then he can be all mushy over bubs and you'll stop being SO boring xx

 

[muppetmummy]

I agree, sounds like he's getting stressed about the life change. I'm sure he'll be fine once the baby arrives

 

[lfc_sarah]