My mums house

[LaurenMM]

We're at home visiting at the moment and to be blunt my mums house is an absolute tip when I say tip I mean there's horrible bits all over every carpet like crumbs and my sister wears hair extensions which are falling out so there's disgusting long black hairs everywhere and (I'm sorry if TMI) but she also picks her nails off and flicks them everywhere (I know - it's sick), the kitchen is covered in bits and our room has cobwebs everywhere. My parents have a really nice house and it's very big and they both work full time so I understand them being tired etc but my mum has 2 days off in the week and some days she only works til 2 or 3 and just watches tv all afternoon. My sister does absolutely nothing she doesn't work or anything just sits on Facebook all day. Literally every time I come here I end up hoovering and tidying up all the time and I get no bloody thanks for it but I do not want Angel rolling round in this shit. They also left our bedroom door open and their cat got in and pooed on the floor. Honestly I don't mean to sound stuck up or anything but it's absolutely vile. I must admit I am a bit of a freak about cleanliness etc but I've got Angel to think of. And I don't see why I should have to come when I should be visiting and taking a break and I end up cleaning instead. I know if I say something to my Mum or Dad they'll go mad at me. I know they both work hard but looking after Angel isn't just a 'full time job' it's a bloody 24/7 one yet I still find the time to make our house clean for her so she can play on the floor etc it's my sister that winds me more than anything, why doesn't she just get off her bum and help?! Argh sorry ladies rant over!!!!! xx

 

[My1stBaby]

:O

id be the same!! i think you're well within your rights to say something, i wouldnt want max around all that dirt. if it upsets them then they'll get over it, say it in a gentle hinting kind of way at first, see if they get the idea? if not then you'll have to be a bit more blunt.

what a shame you cant just go and relax!!! xxxx

 

[littlemiss83]

We have a similar issue with OH's nana. We cant go round coz the house is even worse than you describe your mums, the same but worse, its disgusting, my MIL said her cats got fleas staying there while she was on hols, I wont go round, thankfully OH feels the same. If I was you, I would put off going again, i'm sorry but if your mum/sister cant be bothered to make an effort if your visiting then I wouldn't visit at all, am I right in saying you have to travel quite far? Is it NI to England? And she cant be bothered to clean the house, even a quick hoover & dust away of cobwebs would suffice. As you said, working full time isn't an excuse. Sorry you have to put up with that. I cant think of how you could break it to her tho

xxxxxxxxx

 

[jojo_2012]

Your sister sounds so lazy and selfish. I'd like to say behavior like this will come back and bite her in the arse one day but people like this have a way of working people so they get to sail through life. I think your parents should come and visit you from now on, if they ask why you can tell them!

 

[english rose]

I think i'd avoid going around if you can. Failing that, make sure you've always got a fleece blanket or something that you can lie Angel on, which you know is clean.

 

[LaurenMM]

Thanks girls I'm really glad you see what I mean and glad I didn't come across as stuck up. It's a real shame as the house is big and could be really nice. I don't go round cleaning extensively while Angels awake but I do it during her naps and I make sure I do all those 'niggly' jobs (ie skirting board cleaning) once a week, it may not need it but I'm on top it and as a result I have more time to spend with her as I mainly just have the little jobs to do.

littlemiss; you know me too well!! I moved to NI last Feb and they visited once on my birthday and once when Angel was born last year so in total they spent 4 nights at my house last year and quite often they'd fly over as late in the day as poss (around 5pm) and leave very early like 8am flight so we'd have to get them to the airport for like 5am when we'd been up with Angel!! We stayed in total about 8 weeks altogether, taking an 8 hour ferry while I was heavily pregnant and when Angel was a newborn and me and OH suffer from sea sickness. Even though I keep my house quite tidy most of the time I still make a huge effort when they do come, I get food and drink in and I make sure they have fresh towels and bed linen etc and my mum always moans my house is too small for everyone lol like I'm sorry I don't have a 7 bed house like you!! Like you said it doesn't take long just to quickly hoover and dust and keep the door shut so the cat doesn't get in. I've been keeping Angel on a playmat most of the time but it's quite small and she's rolling round everywhere atm I actually had socks on in the house the other day and mum asked why and I said the carpets everywhere are filthy and she just didn't say anything. I don't wanna cause a row or upset anyone while I'm here but I'm fed up of being taken for a mug!! In the end I got so annoyed earlier I ended up hoovering and cleaning most of the house, in this weather its horrible!!! xxx

 

[mum2b410]

Poor u! I am with u tho hun, would'my let ethan crawl around on a floor like that! It's v tough with families but could u find a tactful way of saying something? Know it must b really hard but u shouldn't have to b cleaning when ur a guest! X

 

[LaurenMM]

I could try and say something just fear of an argument stops me. I did all that flipping hoovering yesterday and it's completely obvious I did it as the carpets were immaculate and my mum didn't say a word when she came in from work, I was not happy!! x

 

[BabyNumber1]

I agree with everyone else, if you dont feel comfortable saying something then just dont visit... get them to come and visit you! They will if they are that bothered...

I have a similar situation with my mum, although not as bad... she went to feed my little girl with a spoon that clearly hadnt been washed properly the other day! I was livid! If i wasnt there, she would have just used it so now i take my own spoons for when she looks after her!

Hope you get it sorted soon, its not fair on you to be cleaning someone elses home whether its family or not! Get your sister to do it if she doesnt do anything! I was made to do my chores when i lived at home! (Dont mean to sound harsh there) xx

 

[LaurenMM]

I agree with everyone else, if you dont feel comfortable saying something then just dont visit... get them to come and visit you! They will if they are that bothered...

I have a similar situation with my mum, although not as bad... she went to feed my little girl with a spoon that clearly hadnt been washed properly the other day! I was livid! If i wasnt there, she would have just used it so now i take my own spoons for when she looks after her!

Hope you get it sorted soon, its not fair on you to be cleaning someone elses home whether its family or not! Get your sister to do it if she doesnt do anything! I was made to do my chores when i lived at home! (Dont mean to sound harsh there) xx

I feel that if I don't visit I'd never see them because even though it's easier for them to fly to us as all they need is their hand luggage they just don't it's always excuses but it's getting too much back and forth on the ferry with Angel.

I'd go mad about the spoon as well hun With my sister it's the same as my mum if I say anything to her she just goes mad or keeps saying "Ill do it later or in a minute". We shared a bathroom when I lived at home and we were supposed to clean it every Friday and take it in turns and it was always me who ended up doing it and on the rare occasion she did it it wasn't even done properly! I was always the one helping my mum round the house. And now if my sister ever does anything of her own accord it'll be something little like just wiping the sides down and my mum will thank her profusely and sometimes my sister even asks for money to do!! She's get £30 every week off my mum as 'pocket money' she's nearly 20!!!!!! Drives me mad ! Yet when I do something, like the other day vacuuming nearly the whole house, it goes completely unnoticed!!! Grr! xx

 

[LaurenMM]

BTW - you didn't sound harsh hun xx

 

[BabyNumber1]

It might be hard at first but maybe its the wake up call they need... If your not going over there as often it might makethem think god maybe we should make more of an effort!

At the end of the day its only going to be them that misses out if they cant be bothered... i know its hard when theres a baby involved as its not fair on them but some people need to face harsh reality! You have your own family to look after and clean up after now, i have to have help to clean a 2 up 2 down cos i work 40 hours a week and feel like all my time is spent cleaning up so i cant imagine how you feel having to do two houses aswell as looking after a baby!!

Your too good natured! I have snapped by now! xx

 

[LaurenMM]

It is annoying and it's the cost too. Ferries and petrol and when I fly that's quite a lot too. I just feel sad for Angel because I was fortunate enough to grow up seeing my grandparents regularly and I'm very close to them. My OHs real Dad lives in Korea so she's already not gonna see him hardly ever and his mum doesn't ever bother and my parents don't bother coming to us either. I hate travelling and it's even worse with a baby. My Dad has his own business which took a nose dive last year, he managed to save it but he's got no staff so he works sometimes 12 hours a day but my mum sometimes has 2-3 days a week off in a row and I tell her just fly over by yourself it's not hard and she's like oh I can't I wouldn't know what to do etc bullshit! She's nearly 50, I managed to fly with a baby by myself and on this trip I flew and I was pushing her buggy and dragging a massive suitcase along too!!

 

[BabyNumber1]

Im sorry but whats hard about turning up at the airport... boarding a plane... and you meeting her at the other end? I havent had to fly with a baby yet, but im guessing its a lot harder with a baby in tow and if you forget something they need then your screwed!

Its an awful situation to be

Were thinking of emigrating to Australia in the next couple of years and weve had so much backlash from our parents saying they wont get to see Francesca etc... but the way i see it is, they can afford to go on holiday every year sometimes twice so they can save up a bit more and just get flights over and have basically a free holiday somewhere amazing!

Families can be so demanding, you would think they would know how hard it is having kids themselves once!

 

[LaurenMM]

Im sorry but whats hard about turning up at the airport... boarding a plane... and you meeting her at the other end? I havent had to fly with a baby yet, but im guessing its a lot harder with a baby in tow and if you forget something they need then your screwed!

Its an awful situation to be

Were thinking of emigrating to Australia in the next couple of years and weve had so much backlash from our parents saying they wont get to see Francesca etc... but the way i see it is, they can afford to go on holiday every year sometimes twice so they can save up a bit more and just get flights over and have basically a free holiday somewhere amazing!

Families can be so demanding, you would think they would know how hard it is having kids themselves once!

Yep exactly it wasn't even like difficult flying with Angel once you're sat in departures and actually on the plane, so if I can manage it I'm sure she could.

It's such a shame they're not supporting your decision I see it the same way as you, my parents have 2/3 foreign holidays a year and last year my mum kept commenting saying she'd sacrificed one of them to see Angel when she was born. I was like "Oh boo hoo so you've only had 2 holidays this year you poor thing"... whatever!! I've not said anything to them but I'm making this my last visit for a very long time. I'm sick of travelling to them all the time and getting no appreciation for my efforts whatsoever. The only good thing is they're both so good with Angel but we cannot keep doing this xx

 

[BabyNumber1]

The way i see it is you need to do whats best for you! And travelling all the time isnt going to be good, especially if its you making all the effort! It would certainly get on my nerves!

Hopefully you making a stand will make them make the effort for once

Families hey! Would have them!! x