my mother has upset me today

[budge]

the other day a girl i know who had a baby girl in january offered me a pile of gorgeuos baby girl clothes. As i don't know what im having and its got to be one or the other i decided to accept. I went to get them yesterday and by golly what a gorgeous pile of stuff. All clean and fluffy and baby smelly .
Today i told my mum while she was here and i excitedly got the clothes out to show her. She was all long faced looking at the clothes and i asked her what was wrong. You know what she said
she said ''i want you to have a boy, don't you want a boy?''

talk about pressure. . I told her in a rather curt way that so long as baby comes out with all its bits and bobs in the right place i wasn't bothered to be honest. And she accused me of being nasty and left.

Do you think i did the wrong this getting those clothes? Its not likei haven't bought a few boys clothes too. I just think if it is a boy then i can give them away to someone else.

im not sure if its my hormones playing up today or what but my mums really upset me. I almost feel like if i have a girl she will be disappointed.

someone get a tuna fish and slap me if you think im being soft.

 

[mary70]

i think you did right hun i am with you as long as they have all there bits thats good enough for me.
my mil said if hannah was a boy she didnt want to know because she already had 4 grandsons and i went mad

 

[sam96031]

no your not being anything hun you stand up for yourself ive got boy and girl stuff aswell just incase your mum shouldnt have put you in a position where you have to stand up to her but well done for doing so i woulnt have the guts so big hug 4 u

 

[Princess_Puddles]

I think it sounds a bit selfish to me cause it's gonna make you feel like you have done something wrong and also the baby is gonna think its not welcome (Well when it understands)
I'm sure she will come round though!!

 

[budge]

im sure she will but i just feel she shouldn't have said that. It was as if she was putting pressure on me to have a boy.
its really pissed me off.

 

[nikki1306]

I am in exactly the same boat hun only with my OH and not my mum ,he is always talking to his mates saying when 'baby Ronnie comes' and i always say what if it's a girl and he's like no it's gonna be a boy,he wants a boy so much that i feel so much pressure that it often upsets me ,he tells me that it wouldn't make a difference if it was another girl but i am so scared that he wont bond if it is ,i know how you feel hun xx

 

[Jo]

Aww Budge

I don't think you are being soft at all so I've put the tuna away for another day!

I don't think mums think before they open there mouths,( we won't be like that) i understand why you took the clothes, why not? you can always pass them on or flog on Ebay

People always say stuff like that, everyone was on at me about it being a boy, because i already had a girl, so what i don't care a baby is a baby

She'll prob think about what she said and see you had a point and apologise

you did right to stand up to her

 

[Jaidy]

im sure she will but i just feel she shouldn't have said that. It was as if she was putting pressure on me to have a boy.
its really p*ssed me off.

Oh Budge, give me cuddles

I felt similar to you the other day, we were at Rich's mums house and his gran was sat there and we were talking about the baby obviously calling it 'he' cos its a boy. Rich's gran didnt know we were having a boy and said 'Why are you calling it 'he' when it might be a girl' and I said 'Well we know its a boy from the scan' and she just looked at me and said 'Oh thats not very good, I wanted it to be a girl!!!'

I was mega P*SSED off Budge, I felt like saying 'Well thanks a lot then il send it back shall I just to please you??!!'

We are overjoyed its a boy and would have been happy either way, like you say so long as the baby is happy and healthy then who cares what sex it is. Some people just say selfish things, and im sure they dont mean it, Rich's gran only said it because she has a great-grandson already and would have liked a great-gradaughter. Well tough!!!

Whatever your baby is, your mum will love it 100% and try not to feel pressured because whatever sex that baby is it cant change now.

It will be gorgeous and she knows it.

 

[budge]

I am in exactly the same boat hun only with my OH and not my mum ,he is always talking to his mates saying when 'baby Ronnie comes' and i always say what if it's a girl and he's like no it's gonna be a boy,he wants a boy so much that i feel so much pressure that it often upsets me ,he tells me that it wouldn't make a difference if it was another girl but i am so scared that he wont bond if it is ,i know how you feel hun xx

aww luckily my hubby thinks the same as me nikki so i haven't got that pressure. Its horrible though isn't it

 

[lauramumof2]

Awww,thats a shame. Its daft for her to be like that and when the baby comes out, boy or girl, she will love it because its her grandchild. She is going to feel really silly for saying what she did.

I think her problem should really be lying with the online pics of her daughter dressed as a smurf (preggers and non preggers) and as a giant cock(a bird for the few who havent seen that piccie).

I couldnt have cared less what sex my baby was going to be.

Laurax

 

[budge]

 

[bev]

Well, it's so true, you can't pick your family!!
Sometimes I'd love to trade mine in for a new one especially when they are a bit mean or interfere ahead of time, like, mum saying, "god, you're not gonna dress my grandchild in that?". It was only a really cute AC/DC baby grow!!
Plus a sister telling me at EVERY opportunity how big I'm getting!! Wait till she has a baby I'm gonna give her some abuse

I think we all have these problems, at the moment I think all you can do is try and laugh it off, but if it continues when baby is born instinct will take over and give'em hell.

Bev x x

 

[angelfairy]

Hey Budge, you are perfectly right to feel a little peeved off by your mum's comments. I'm in a similar situation to you in so far as my in laws are desperate for me to have a boy as they already have two grand daughters from my hubbys brother.

My father in law has referred to my bump as my grandson and it really pisses me off - makes me think will they love my baby less if its a girl.

Xxxxxx

 

[budge]

angel fairy i was in the same boat as you this time 9 years ago!!

i was so pressured to provide a grandaughter for my parents then as they had got 4 grandsons.! i did right htat time and now i have the other end of the stick to preovide a boy! its fooking laughable really.

 

[Tasha20]

Aww budge thats not very nice no I think she was being totaly out of order, whats with mums ay I'm not even talking to mine .

Don't worry about her just think about you and your little ones thats all thats important

 

[angelfairy]

yup gotta laugh or I'll end up having a hissy fit at them! Thing is, we've been married for over 8 years now and are in both in our 30's they really should be a bt more sensitive to the fact that we're so excited to be having a baby at all that we would be happy with a boy or a girl.

At the same time we would love all our family to feel the same way.

Deep down I know they will be over the moon regardless of what we have, and I'm sure it'll be the same with your mum hon

Just have to put up with the little comments for a while longer....your little one is coming to meet you real soon!

 

[mummykay]

Budge - my mum was really nasty about me having a boy cos she wanted a granddaughter. When the woman at the scan told me I was having a boy my mum hissed 'you couldnt even do that properly'

talk about mean

 

[budge]

oh thats awful mummykay

 

[mummykay]

thanks for the hugs budge!

ive lost all contact with her now and i wouldnt change my little boy for the world!!

 

[Jade89]

im not sure if its my hormones playing up today or what but my mums really upset me. I almost feel like if i have a girl she will be disappointed.

someone get a tuna fish and slap me if you think im being soft.

aww budge I don't think your being soft, your Mum should be equally exited weather you have a girl or boy...at the end of the day if the clothes are gorgeous AND second hand AND free then thats great! It saves money that way than if you were to buy them, if you do have a boy you could pass them on to someone else who would be just as grateful as you were. It's not very often you get nice clothes given to you, most things I have had given to me look really worn out by the washing machine etc, luckily I have LOADS of brand new clothes too though.