My husband is too embarassed to get tested

[clem]

Hiya, have most of you TTC on here had tests done to see if anything is wrong? We've been trying for 18 months but no luck. I think we should see a doctor but my husband is really shy and says he just couldn't do the 'cup' thing. Any advice?

 

[PippaJ]

Hi and welcome

Sorry to hear you're having some problems. Me and my OH had the go through all the tests too, we had tried for 1.5 years with no luck. I went to see my GP and we were referred as a couple to a local hospital. I know how hard the 'cup' thing is for men, my OH had to do it twice. If it helps you don't have to do the task in the hospital, you shoud be able to do it at home as long as you can get the sample back to the hospital within an hr of producing it. If you do it at the hospital it is very private and you will be able to stay with him if you want to.

Maybe you should both go and see your GP together so that they can put your husbands mind at rest alittle first.

Hope this helps and good luck xx

 

[ema-lou24]

hey hun,
my OH stu has done this, hes not near the computer right now, but he will be later to let you know how he felt doing this etc, its ok me saying it but hes the only one who know how it really feels cos he done it.

I know when we got given the "cup" we made a joke about it and named the "cup" melinda (off ghost whisperer), it kinda lightened the mood really.

In the end, he felt that he needed to know

He will be on later to let you know, hope everything works out for you hun xx

 

[PippaJ]

Thats a great idea Ema-Lou xx

 

[ema-lou24]

dammit... forgot to sign in as me ...

 

[stu]

hey clem..

as ema-louise said, we have done this..

We always thought it was going to be because of ema's previous medical problems that we wer having sod all luck in falling pregnant but there was something nagging in my head ( no not ema ) that it might be me... I use to work with solvent and UV inks and they are very dangerous if in the blood stream etc..

anyhoooo..

i went to the docter ( that in its self is hard for us guys to do as its just not the done thing! ) but i explaned the situation and she, YES SHE talked me through everything.

As ema said i have a thing for jennifer love hewit ( melinda ) and our way to get round this was to name the cup melinda

How did i feel? Well tbh i felt strange, bad, guilty, depressed and was crapping myself BUT i had to know.. and lets be honest.. its no like its the first time ive used manual power ( sorry people ), what i done was simple.... in my head i reminded myself that I WANT TO BE A DADDY, simple.. if i dont do this then i dont find out whats hapning down there.

done i t, handed the cup in and got the results... i now know what i have to do..

You could always get one of those home test things, ema will tell u what one we done... saves going to doctor at first

hope this helps.. and also i hope ur OH understands he aint alone.. i felt like my whole world was falling apart BUT u quickly get through it and realise its something u gotta deal with as a couple and tackle it together..

 

[JJ Mum]

Great reply Stu, x

 

[ema-lou24]

manual power!!

i think thats he 1st time ive laughed all day!!!

 

[PippaJ]

My OH has just read this as he's sat on sofa next to me and agreed totally.

Great reply Stu, it does pay to keep a sense of humor through all this stuff

 

[Flossie]

Hi Clem

My husband had to do this too, he was embarassed but like stu said he has to think of the main goal of being a daddy! Its good that you can get a male opinion on this.
To be honest most doctors will want to check the male first as this is the easiest test, my recommendation would be to think of it as an hour out of his life and he never has to see that person again. When I started having various tests it was embaressing at first but it is just something that has to be done and im so used to it now it doesnt even bother me!

Good Luck x

 

[stu]

would also like to point out, only reason i even contacted the doctor was because we done a home test thing, simple to do and takes about 45 mins of sitting aiting really...

it came back with results that tbh had me on the floor!

THATS when i desided fudge this, am went to the doctor!

canna say having my "ahem" balls cupped and asked to cough was the most enjoyable experiance ive ever had but it had to be done so it was done...

in fact.. i actually have "date" wi malinda this month

 

[PippaJ]

We did the same thing as you. I bought two fertility tests for me and my OH. Mine came back ok but his showed him as infertile. It was the hardest two weeks ever waiting for the results from the hospital, and the test we did wasn't accurate so I didn't recommend doing it on here as all it did for us was scare the crap out of us.

 

[clem]

Thank you all so much for this advice. Especially Stu, as I know these forums are not usually guy orientated!

I did look into the home testing kits but the online feedback on them was overwhelming about how unreliable they are. Plus you presumably still have to go to the doctor in the end either way, so I havent really pursued that route.

I think my OH is terrified that it might be him and that we wont be able to have children. He is a chef and they notoriously have a low count due to standing in front of hot stoves for years on end. But I keep telling him that even a low count doesnt mean we cant have kids at all (am I right about that?)

So far the desire to be a Dad still hasnt gotten him into the doctors. I think the fear of what he might learn is stronger at the moment.

Sorry to sound so clueless but I came on this forum because I dont really have anyone else I can talk to about it all and you girls (and guys) are all in a similar place. So thanks again for any advice and I hope to chat to you all more about many other topics re TTC too.
Clem x

 

[ema-lou24]

if he has a low count hun, then you CAN still have a baby, but means you need to take vitamins etc, and work harder to get it.

it might not be him thats the problem, or you for that matter, theres just people out there that take longer to concieve for whatever reasons.

But he needs to go get checked, to determine what he HAS to do to become a parent, hope im making
sence....

we are here to help as much as we can hun, so ask away, im sure there will be someone with words of wisdom, id go insane if i didnt have this forum!

My OH (stu) has been told he has a low count, but myself, stu and doctors think i have had 2 chemical pregnancies, so it can and WILL happen for u/ us xx