My husband doesn't want a baby yet but I do!

[Beccaboop1986]

Hiya,

I need help I really want to start trying for a baby now but my husband wants to wait a bit longer but we have been together 8 years so I think I've waited long enough now!!

We are both 25 and got married 5 months ago and he says it's a bit soon to have a baby and his career is going well so he would rather wait a year so but i can't wait that long I feel like something is missing in my life!

I feel really jealous of my friends and my younger brother who all have children and sometimes don't want to be around them and their children and then I feel guilty because I know I shouldn't be like that as it's not their fault I just feel like how come they get to have children and I don't!!

I hate feeling like this!! Please help!!

Thanks Becca x

 

[natashateale]

Hello, i was in a similar situation as you earier this year. I was ready for a baby so much, it was all i thought about, was jealouse of other people with babies. But my partner wasnt ready for another one for the same reason that he wanted to concentrate on his career. I had tried speaking to him about it loads and it was getting me down. I left it a while and spoke about it agaon and was shocked to find out he wanted another. We have been trying for 3months and nothing yet. You need to sit down and tell him how you feel about it and how important it is to you. Asking him if you can 'meet in the moddle' and start trying later on this year or something as you wont get pregnant straight away.
Men dont understand the feeling woman have for a baby. And besides he has 9months after you have conceive to wait anyway.
Good luck hun and your not alone with this. Xx

 

[Pudds86]

Oh bless you hun. It must be really difficult for you. The thing is you need to try and respect his feelings as well. i know it will be tough but the last thing you want is making him feel like he needs to have a baby right away and then for him to resent the baby for making him give up his career. You will get there in the end and he may come around to the idea sooner than you think xx

 

[Alexandra84]

It must be really hard when your plans don't match up with your husband. I agree with pudds86 though, I think you'll need to try and respect his feelings about it. You're both going to become parents after all and it's important that both of you are for it 100%. I can also kind of understand his point of view, 25 is a young age for a man to become a father. He might want to feel more secure and stable before helping to bring a child into the world.

I feel quite fortunate that my OH made it clear straight away that he really wanted children so it was really up to me to pick a good moment and go for it. He is much older that me though (18 years) and has settled his career and had done many things that he wanted to do before having kids before he even met me.

 

[Kezzamunster]

I've been with my OH for 13 years in September & we aren't getting married until next year, I'm 28 & he's 31

I've wanted a child for majority of our relationship but he hasn't always felt the same & the timing has never been right for either of us because of one thing or another

We did TTC for about 3 months last year but put it on hold as I needed to sort myself out financially & my OH is working his way to promotion plus it put so much pressure on our relationship because we weren't on the same page so to speak

As a couple of the girls said it is a joint decision as your both be becoming parents & also another year waiting isn't going to hurt

You can use that time to make the most of your time just as a couple, save for one last holiday, save for the future, become healthier......there is so many things you can do within that time

Keep us posted with how you get on

xxxx

 

[natashateale]

Sorry if it came across as if i was saying it not his choice i was just saying is there noway of meeting in the middle with it because both of your feelings need to be taken into account. I know how hard it is and sometimes it does feel un fair. But sit and talk about with him. Keep smiling like one of the girls said he'll come round to the idea xx

 

[bjones]

Hi ladies.
I'm so glad I found this thread. I have been desperately wanting to start a family for a year now. I'm 31 and my partner is 38. Due to circumstances with my boyfriend's work, he is worried about starting a family when things are so uncertain. (He's worried about losing his job). I've tried to explain to him that there is 'no right time' but he is refusing to start trying this year and has asked me to 'wait and see' what happens in work. If all is ok in the new year then we can stop using contraception and start trying. I'm just finding it incredibly difficult to focus on anything else and am wishing the year away in the hope that something positive is going to change. I'm just concerned that I will be having the same conversation in January. He keeps telling me that 'it won't take long' to get pregnant but how can he possibly know that!? I don't want to be nearly 35, and he 42 when we have our first child. I know that men and women are having healthy children at these typical ages but it really worries me. A little bit of advice on how I can 'work on him' or just focus on positives would be really appreciated ladies! Its so hard when all our friends are having children and i'm worried it is going to take us years to start and have a baby!! Thanks in advance xxxx

 

[Maria1977]

My clock didn't start ticking til I was 28, by last year when I was 33 my OH (he's younger than me by 3 years) still wanted to wait really lol. I told him that it might take years for us to concieve so we should get started, esp as I'd been on the pill for so long etc etc. It did the trick...

Fell pregnant within 8 weeks of ttc lol xxxxxx