my good experience of medical miscarriage-hope this helps

[crowgirl]

Hi there. If you do a search on crowgirl you will see that me and my partner have been through a long and drawn out pregnancy which sadly ended up not being viable. I had a missed misscarriage at 9 weeks and had to decide whether to wait for it to happen naturally (which could have taken a month or more) have a d and c or a medical miscarriage.After a lot of soul searching I opted for the medical miscarriage as I thought it was slightly more natural and less intrusive than a d and c (although my consultant siad that in my case, either were viable options).The natural way appealed because it was natural but I realised that I was sectretly hoping for a miracle and that it would prolong the grieving process for too long to be good for me.Ive decided to post my experience as I know when I had to decide I searched and searched for peoples expereinces of both to help me decide what to do. I was very scared of having this done as I hate blood and pain, but actually I handled it alright and think I made the right decision. It was sore but not agony as I imagined and I was surpised at how well I coped as im a real wuss and hate gore and pain!.On Friday I went to the early pregancy unit and had one last scan to reassure me that a miracle hadnt happened.This was very important for me as I had not bled or lost my symptoms and kept having tearful moments when I wondered if theyd made a mistake and if it was ok after all (the cruelty of missed miscarriage is that you never feel there is anything wrong as your body carries on being pregnant even after the baby has stopped growing) The scan still showed the baby had not grown any more so I took home the tablet and took it on saturday morning (this softens the cervix) and apart from the odd slight cramp I had no symptoms.The weekend was long and I dreaded monday. When it came I was calmer than I thought, as id been through such a lot over the last 3 weeks I felt stronger than id anticipcated.i was teary just before they gave me the first suppository (3 tablets) but the midwife reassurred me I was doing the right thing and siad that she was pro life and would never have suggested a medical termination unless she was sure. I had mild cramping but no bleeding until the second batch 3 hours later when the cramps were a bit worse and I had a bit of bleeding.I worried then as I really wanted it to happen in hospital where I felt safe. the third batch bought on more cramping (like really bad period pains) and I took co codomol to help and passed a few blood clots but I still didnt pass the sac which would normally happen within the day.I was really upset as the midwife told me it may take a week to pass on its own and the whole point of having the medical mgt was so that I could move on with my situation and get back to normal and TTC asap. (The alternative would have been to come back in 48 hours and do the whole thing again.if this didnt work i could wait to do it naturally or have a d and c) What happened in the end was that I went home very deflated and crampy but thank goodness within 1/2 hr of getting there passed the sac (which looked like a big blood clot/livery thing ......which again very weirdly didnt freak me out...I just felt a huge sense of relief the second Id done it. I put it a container as the hospital will analyse it to see if there was anything obvisouly wrong to cause it). I continued to cramp (and still am) mildly and bleed mildly but am really ok apart from being extremely tired and a bit weak as ive lost a fair bit of blood I suspect. (I wonder if a D and c makes you feel like this.....if not I guess its worth baring this in mind if you are deciding too...)Tomorrow I am going to the hospital for a scan to check the pregnancy has gone and have blood tests. I hope I havent been too graphic in this post, but I know I was looking for one like it myself before I made my decision so really hope it helps someone. I think these decisions are very personal and its really important to chose whats right for you. For me I feel like ive come full circle by doing it this way and have got some kind of closure.i know im going to have some sad times ahead but the main thing is we can try again was soon as I get my next period (which will be 3-6 weeks) so we are trying to look ahead and not back. Very very good luck to anyone going through this sad time and thank you to all those who have taken the time and trouble to post me over the last few weeks and support me through this difficult time.I hope to see you in the first trimester website before too long. lots of love and good karma to you all... cx

 

[miffy]

Hi crowgirl - thanks for sharing your story - sounds like you're coping really well. I'm at a similar stage after opting for a d&c on Sunday (started bleeding on Saturday) - I'd already passed most of the tissue naturally at home (buried the foetus in the garden - sorry if tmi - it just didn't seem right to flush it away). Went for the d&c to put an end to it all really, so like you, we could move on. Fortunately I didn't have any pain so I was really lucky. On Monday, I just had this huge sense of relief, I'd been waiting for it to happen for a week so maybe that had something to do with it. Now I suppose I'm feeling a bit flat and empty, just want my next period to come so we can get back to TTC.
It's been a very sad experience, especially as I've no family around me (except hubby and gorgeous toddler who have kept me going!) and most of my friends here are pregnant. It's something I just thought would never happen to me, but it's amazing and tragic the number of people who have a similar story to share.

Hope to see us both back in tri 1 soon!

Take care

 

[Baileysmummy]

aww huni, well done you for being so strong about it, and looking forward to getting back to TTC really soon..

please take these hugs

 

[crowgirl]

Thanks to both of you for your kind words. Unfortunately I now know why I was so tired.I went to hospital today for a scan and to everyones surprise the sac is still there......its moved down but has not come put at all.I was utterly unprepared fro this as I had started to move on and deal with things so it really shocked me and I couldnt stop crying. Normally it would have happened by now, im just being really unlucky apparently. So the midwife admitted me again and induced me again today and again I havent miscarried.Just bleeding and cramping......really fed up now.Im back home and have one more dose of tablets to take at 630 pm. I've decided that if this doesnt happen by friday I may have a d and c after all as im shattered and dont know how much longer I can keep positive with this dragging on so much.I feel really unwell and wish it could all be over so that I can pick up my life again and look forward.My partner is away working (He left as we thought it was all completed) but due back tonight thank god.My mum has come up to help out so im sure itll all be over soon. I'll post again and let you know the final chapter and whether im still glad I opted for this ! Cx

 

[fothers]

This is very similar to what happened to me Crowgirl- I totally understand where you are coming from

 

[enn]

yea i went through the pain mine had been passing out hosp said it was prob best that my body passes it natually as it was anyway. i didnt actually bury the feutus cause i didnt know what to do with it so i did flush it down the toilet. i lived at my anns at teh time but i not living there now and shes selling house soon so for the best i did the right thing i think. noone told me what to do with it so i did what i thought was best.been a year and 4months since i lost that child but i do think about him/her as the date comes near and i pop into this part of the forum.

 

[miffy]

Hi crowgirl - you poor thing - I'm so sorry that this is being so drawn out for you. I hope they can get it sorted soon so that you can get some closure and start getting your head round it. Thinking of you, nobody should have to go through all that.

Big hugs and take care

 

[happy-chick]

Im glad you feel that you can now move on & be postive. Stay strong, you are an inpiration xxx

 

[crowgirl]

well both attempts at inducing the miscarriage have failed so i think I am sadly going to have a d and c tomorrow after all! I could sit it out but ive no idea how long that might take. the tablets dislodged the sac, but its moved down the womb and is now sitting right at the bottom.I feel like its sitting on my cervix but that my cervix isnt opening which the midwife says is possible. Anyway, im regretful its come to this as I really wanted it to happen naturally but logistically my partner is away from saturday for three days and it makes more sence to have it done tomorrow I think.Also every day thyat gos by its harder to keep from sliding into depression (which i did last time) which I really want to avoid this time for my own sake.I have still have no regrets that I tried to do it naturally , just that it didnt work. Hoping it happens tonight, but if not ill post my exoperience of d and c tomorrow. Thanks for replying guys and speak soon.cx

 

[lotti77]

I can totally relate to what your going through
I went through the same when I lost my twins at 16 weeks. The smallest twin died on xmas day 2001 but would not naturally come away from me for 3 weeks whilst the bigger twin struggled to survive. I just continually bled for that time. Eventually the bigger twin lost the fight but I decided to let things take they're natural course. 2 weeks later nothing but bleeding so I also opted for chemical management this also failed.
After a further 2 weeks I was so distraught by the whole thing I reluctantly opted for a D & C
I do not regret my decision now as I could not have coped any more
I send u
I apologise if this seems insensitive but you are not alone in this I have lost 4 Angels to Heaven

 

[crowgirl]

Hi there.What lovely messages from you all.Thank you so much.Well I went in yesterday am for my D and C.I was quite scared but knew it was the right thng to do.The scan prior to it showed that although my sac had moved from where it had originally embedded it still had a long way to go.As i had already partially miscarried I was bleeding and in a lot of discomfort...I felt like I had this heavy weight pressing down on my cervix, and really needed closure.The minute I woke up and realised it was over I burst out crying with relief. the weight had gone....I was a bit sore and very tired and dozy yesterday but today am hardly bleeding at all and feel a lot better, although still exhausted.I think Id bled so much by the time I had the proceedure that there wasnt much left to come! I am so glad the ordeal is over.I would still do it all the same again I think, as it was only bad luck that scuppered me. Now i just need to move forward.I am still ok, but scared of a possible depression that could come on now that I dont have to cope with the medical side of things.I am determined to fight it though, as I keep reminding myslef that ive got everything going for me : a fiance who I will marry on teh 14th July this year, no reason to suspect I cant get pregnant again, a nice flat and good friends.....now its "over" I need to really work hard at not getting down though, esp when I return to work to a room full of pregnant friends.for now imjust avoiding being on my own and trying to fill my days with ncie things.I am def not going to work next week as after the last 5 weeks I need some quiet time to get my head back together....My best friend is in hospital being induced at the moment too (shes had 2 failed attempts...we have been having surreal conversations on the hone, both in hospital waiting to be induced, but for differnt reasons...), but again im determined not to let my experience ruin my expereince of her first baby......I love her so much and she miscarried 3 years ago and then couldnt get pregnant for 2 years until this one so deserves all the luck in the world. I know I will feel a little tug when I hear shes had the baby and be really emotional about it, but guess thats to be expected.Well thats prob all from me now, unless anything else happens.....so good luck to all of you going through similar heartaches...I am so distressed to hear about your terrible experience lotti.That must have been awful fro you, and no I dont think you have been insensitive in the slightest. It sounds like you went to hell and back and must be a very strong person to have got through that.I really admire you and wish you all the luck in the world with the future.I guess the one thing you cant fight is nature and that when its meant to happen it will....we will all get through this one way or another. Emily, how has returning to work been for you? Im really pleased that your bleeding has stopped.That marks the end of the chapter and the start of the the next doesnt it.Good luck with TTC and let me know how you get on.Hope to see you all before too long in the first trimesterlol cx

 

[breezee1984]

i wish i could find it somewhere inside of me to move on from the horribleness i myself have expreienced, but i am very slowly coming to terms with the fact that may very well never happen