My boyfriend seems to have lost interest

[GemLou97]

Hi,

Apologies for the details in advance!!

I’m currently 16+1 weeks pregnant and recently my boyfriend just doesn’t seem interested in sex with me or anything. He says he loves me and that I’m beautiful and that it doesn’t bother him having sex with me even though I’m pregnant but before I got pregnant and even in the first trimester we were having sex most days. When we got to around 12 weeks he just seems to have lost all interest in me. We can go to bed and next thing he is just asleep and it just makes me feel ugly and unattractive because he doesn’t want sex with me. I know he says he still thinks I’m beautiful but it just makes me feel so unattractive. 2 weeks ago I tried starting to get things going and get him in the mood and he said “If you want sex we can have sex because I feel bad” and I told him I don’t want it because he feels bad not giving it to me and that broke my heart because it’s supposed to be an act of love and not a sympathy act. Now he seems to go to sleep before anything can happen.

It might sound stupid and like I’m overthinking it but I cry to myself once he is asleep wondering if this is how it will be for the rest of the pregnancy and maybe even after.

Anybody else been through similar?

 

[Vintageling]

sending huge hugs I cant advice you hun but just ask him how he is feeling about having sex you might find an answer if he talks

 

[BabyWomble]

Have you talked to him about how it makes you feel rather than trying to initiate sex and then feeling rejected? This has been happening in my relationship too, however when we discussed it there were real reasons for him avoiding intamacy. Last month he was involved in an accident that left him in pain for nearly 3 weeks, then he had toothache resulting in his wisdom tooth coming out. I’ve also been suffering with hayfever and can’t sleep well at night so it turns out he just hasn’t felt up to it and when he has he wants to allow me time to rest. He actually got upset that I would feel as though he doesn’t want me anymore. He says I’m even more beautiful to him now because I’m carrying his baby. Sometimes the best thing to do is let your partner know how their actions make you feel because he may think you’re initiating sex just to please him and he’s trying to be thoughtful by giving you some space to rest etc. Please don’t bottle it up and fester on it, that won’t help you or the baby and I’m sure it would make him feel awful too.

 

[millielaura]

Have you spoke to him about it? My husband was like that in one of my previous pregnancies and I spoke to him and he said he was worried it would hurt the baby! So I found him stuff online that said it doesn’t lol. He did say with my daughter when I was big that he felt a bit weird when she would move etc like he felt weird having sex when his baby was “right there” sort of thing lol so I think they can sometimes just feel a bit weird rather than being not attracted to us? He was quite clueless as well like I had to explain about the mucus plug etc and how baby is then also in the amniotic sac so he wasn’t going anywhere near it and neither would sperm lol. Xx

 

[Diamond18]

A lot of men worry about having sex whilst pregnant, specifically first time fathers. There's a lot of myths out there about hurting the baby, hurting you, baby being able to touch/feel the penis etc. it could just be overwhelming for him too. Best thing to do is ask him. Suggest new positions, lingerie etc. If all else fails, treat yourself to a new electric friend! Haha Xx