my 14yr olds txts :shock: tmi for me

[yummymum]

Oh why did i think it was a good idea to look at Jakes (14) texts

somethings a mother just doesnt wanna know

Ok so one message said

I am in bed doing something begining with w and ending in anking

another said

I know u said you are too young for sex but what age do u think u will start having sex oh and by the way i havent shaged stevie

So now what the hell do i do with this info ...I dont want him to know ive been looking and have talked about safe sex ect is there much else i can do ...other then tell all the mums round here to lock up there girls

I know its not funny I just not sure what to do

 

[Princess81]

Holy. God.
I was bad at 14 but I didn't get bad texts (that'll be because mobile phones weren't out then)!
The teens I see know far too much as well.
This is what I would do: say to your 14yr old: Go and get your mobile phone - I want to see it. You'll get some protesting of course but say that you've seen things in magazines about kids getting texts that they shouldn't and then read what's on there (provided they aren't deleted) - if they are still there then you can raise your concerns?
Another (not so nice point) consideration is: Do you know how old this other person is that's sending the texts? they may be older than your 14 year old.
Its part of your parental right to know what's going on, I'm afraid that the right to privacy doesn't come into it and it's probably a good thing you found out about those texts.
it could be harmless (extreme) flirting but you're best off knowing that there's such sexual stuff being said at such a young age.
Maybe the others have different ideas from me, I'm not a mum and so don't have any parental experience, however, i have seen how they go off the rails when control is lost.
Good luck and I hope the girls here can give you some good advice. xx

 

[Mamafy]

Run away?

Bring up the subject of safe sex again but it could just him putting on a big front to his mates?

 

[Princess81]

Yar, he might just be sexting. No physical stuff involved.

 

[yummymum]

The girl is yr 8 and he is yr 9 so she is 12/13 I hate to think he is pressuring her ... Though when i read on she finished with him bcos she is scared ...yet he is meetin her tomorrow to talk ...he as lied cos he said he was going to play football i hate being lied to

 

[yummymum]

Yar, he might just be sexting. No physical stuff involved.

Yeah maybe ...I had him at 14 and know what 14yr boys are like , I would of hoped ive drilled in safe sex into him ...I will try get his phone but the bettings theyve gone as there was only messages from last few days on there ..127txts sent in 3 day !!

 

[Princess81]

Oooh 12/13? Maybe just tell him you know, and you've caught him lying! her parents might go bonkers if they hear that.

I don't think I even knew what W***ing was at 12!?!?!

 

[Mamafy]

God she's so young

Tbh then I'd confront him with the phone

 

[yummymum]

Exactly they mature a lot in 1 yr at that age ..he is one of oldest in the yr so if she is one of the youngest then there would be nearly 2 yrs between them

 

[Princess81]

could you just give him bromide or something that'll solve all the probs.

 

[yummymum]

I only know her age cos ive just gone thru his FB , I was told he was seeing a bad un that smokes and to see her age makes me sad

 

[yummymum]

Bromide ??????

 

[Princess81]

It's what they give military lads to surpress the sex drive when they are away

 

[yummymum]

Wonder where I could get that from ...all i need is a horny teenager in my house at the moment NOT !!!

 

[Princess81]

everything's available on t'interweb!! No that's a joke - not being held responsible for any bad side effects lol.

Think you'll just have to tell him you've seen the phone and suffer the consequences mrs, at least you can have your say and relay your concerns. And give him a good boot in the arse and tell him to wait til he's fifteen for that kind of carry on

 

[yummymum]

Yeah I think so too , Just he knows if i demand his phone i can its part of our agreement but i havent for such a while he,s forgotten to delete ...I worry the more i go on at him the better at hidin stuff he will be come if that makes sense

 

[Princess81]

Yes, you worry assess, adapt and overcome. You have the upper hand tho, no doubt all threes tricks he tries at hiding things you'll think of first! X

 

[titch]

OMG you have got to find him out somehow. Could you say you popped along to watch him at football and he wasnt there or something?! I know what you mean, you kind of dont want him to know how you find out or he'll just get better at deleting and you'll have no info on what he's up to! Let us know how it goes.

I think you need to do something though because this girl needs to be looked after too, she obviously isnt as ready as your son and Id hate to think she'll go ahead with it just to keep him happy, so many young girls do that and it breaks my heart for them.

 

[Toonlass]

its a tough one hun. I agree that you should talk to him about this but you need to find a way of bringing it up without him finding out you have been through his phone. My mam read my diary when i was about 14 and i remember feeling so betrayed. It would be a shame to break down the trust between you and your son.

The idea of asking him to fetch his phone so you can check it infront of him is a good idea but then you need to come up with a good enough reason to need to look at it.

Good luck hun and let us know how you get on xx

 

[Tonks]

Get him a hobby?

I was a serious horse rider, competing when I was that age. I didn't have my first boyfriend until I was 16 as I didn't have the time or inclination and I didn't do anything sexual until I was 18. Football doesn't sound like it's holding his attention! Would he ever be interested in something like Air or Army Cadets? Tell him he gets to shoot a rifle In all seriousness though, they teach respect for yourself and instil a good set of morals in a lot of kids. I used to be an instructor with them.

If you confront him negatively and argue you run the risk that he will now hide everything from you. He's a teenager, so if he wants to do something then he will, he'll just find another way to do it.

I would sit down with him and explain how you came to find out this information. You could even tell a white lie and say that you get an itemised bill from his provider and it details texts there I think a lot of kids act like this because they want to be just like their mates, or boredom or both!