my 14yr olds txts :shock: tmi for me

[yummymum]

Ive spoken with him today after much argument of letting me have his phone , I then asked what he had been doing in bed or was he just bragging as boys do he said i dont do it every night
Then i told him why he was dumped and that after only 1 month of seeing a girl who is 13 by the way i asked was bcos by asking her wat age she was going to have sex made her feel preasured and how girls dont like to be presured and that its not something he should do, he said he wanted to know bcos half his mates are having sex when i asked if he as been he said no , Followed by a talk of using condoms at all times as it protects from disease as well as pregnancy and how if a girl says shes on the pill he should insist on condoms no matter what or no sex , I also told him about the morning after pill which he never heard of ! also said if a condom ever broke that he should feel able to come to me so we can get his gf the morning after pill ...ok so he as told me he asnt had sex and isnt planning on it yet but i felt the need to go into detail as i do not him to get into a situtation where he gets a girl pregnant or catches something i also wanted him to be assured that he can come to me anytime and that i wouldnt discuss it with anybody ...

do u guys think i covered all bases ?

 

[karenandbump]

Sounds good - well done u cos that can't have been an easy one. How do u think it went with him? xx

 

[yummymum]

Tbh no idea he just sat and said yes and no in all the right places but i could tell it wasnt something he wanted to be talking about with me , hence i didnt go mad so maybe he will now feel he can chat with me if needed

 

[scaredmum2be]

I think you've done all you can, but i do think the only way ur guna find out if the girl was being pressurised alot by speaking to her, have u got facebook so that u can add her to speak to, just say its between you to although if hes been wanting it from a girl that age then she might of told her parents by this stage.

its scary isnt it id be worried if i found stuff out from my kid but being 12/13 is well under age if he wants a gf he shud find someone the same age because when he hits 17 he cud like someone at 15 an poss av sex by then an get someone preg although he wud be in big trouble because the girl cud say she was pressurised to.
im quite shocked at these messages lol.

does he not have a father figure in the house to try an teach him, no worries if not, although your doing the best you can i would say x

 

[yummymum]

I believe what he as told me , That he was asking becos half his mates have had sex, not because he was presuring her or even because he wanted sex , he admited to doing the other so if he was gunna lie i would say he would lie about the lot .If i add her to fb she would probably tell him , But this girl at 13 is smoking and tells her mum shes at her mates then they camp out by the lake. he knows sex under 16 is ilegal also it was me that thought because of her school yr she maybe 12 ..she is 13 ...not much difference but at this age a yr they change a lot

As for a father figuire his real dad would be egging him on and my oh and him dont get on very well so i would rather not speak with his real dad and i know he wouldnt want to chat about things with him

As for its a good job he isnt 17 and shes not 15 I would hope by 17 he would be a hell of alot more mature by then and we wouldnt be needing to have the convo we just have had

 

[Tonks]

I would point out to him that his mates may be discussing sex, but the average age of people to start having sex in the UK is 17. So no doubt some of them are bullshitting and trying to look cool in front of their mates! Also, the people who talk the most are usually doing the least

 

[yummymum]

I did i said just bcos 50% of your friends say there having sex that means maybe 5% are and not to be stupid like i was and asumme it was just the next thing to do , Ive told him he is to learn from my mistakes , He as a good head on his shoulders so hopfully he as taken it all on board ,

as much as i dont want him having sex yet i also want that if he does for him to know the facts and also know he can come to me

 

[scaredmum2be]

his real father egging him on :O god he needs a kick where it hurts!.
by the sex topic chat hopefuly everything is resolved.
id still keep an eye on things. at 14 i wasnt think bout it or didnt even have sex ed at my school apart from sanitry towels sessions bout periods that was it lol :shrug:

Least he knows he can come to chat to you about things now might make it easier for him as your a women an you know alot more x

 

[yummymum]

I had him at 14 so i know what some 14 yr olds get up to , Just hoping its not gunna be him

 

[scaredmum2be]

Im sure it wont be him beause he shud be sensible, kids grow up to quickly dont they x

 

[Princess81]

I think you did very well managing with this hunni!! Well done for managing to bring it up with him and for world war 3 not breaking out in the process. At least now he's aware that (a) he is not ever going to outsmart you, and (b) that he can talk to you objectively and in confidence. I hope it sunk in and that you talked some sense into him.
We had a thing at work there where a 16 year old lad went with a 15 year old girl, it was consentual etc but her parents found out, went ballistic and reported it to us, he therefor has ended up on the sex offenders register, (not what I believe it should be used for) but there you go!

 

[Toonlass]

i think you did really well talking to him, i'm dreading my boys reaching the teens xx

 

[Pudds86]

I agree with Toonlass, I would have been horrified and really hurt if I knew my Mom had gone through my things when I was a teenager. I would say you should talk to him about sex again, and let him know your feelings on the subject. I wouldn't go through his stuff again as that will just ruin his trust with you. As long as your provide good morals for him, and he knows what is right and wrong and the consequences he may face, there is not much else you can do. Do you trust him? x

 

[Pudds86]

Ive spoken with him today after much argument of letting me have his phone , I then asked what he had been doing in bed or was he just bragging as boys do he said i dont do it every night

Oh my god, how cringeworthy!!!

Sorry should have read to the end before I commented! Well done!

x

 

[Mervs Mum]

I dont care what you do just keep him over your side of Yorkshire till I can get an alarmed chastity belt for my 15 yr old girl.....

 

[Princess81]

 

[titch]

I dont care what you do just keep him over your side of Yorkshire till I can get an alarmed chastity belt for my 15 yr old girl.....

Im sure your girl is safe

 

[Mamafy]

I dont care what you do just keep him over your side of Yorkshire till I can get an alarmed chastity belt for my 15 yr old girl.....

 

[DonSelf]

It will pass... this phase won't last for long. I learned this from my baby brother, now 20+ and ok... They know how to get through to you, all the way to your nerves...

 

[xXxBonnyxXx]

I know that my step kids are sexually active and they are 17, 15 and 14,
Theres nothing we can do to stop them - I have told them all that they can talk to me about anything but they probably wont!
The 14 yr old is a boy and I will be telling him about the family planning clinic and telling him about the free condoms that he can get from there - the girls have already had this information and I know they have a stock of condoms in their room.
I was sexually active at 14 and I know that alot of kids around our way are at 'it'

short of keeping them in the house 24/7 I don't think there is any way to stop it really, although I did go mad at the porno's and crusty socks that turned up under his bed!!

Well done at having such a chilled conversation with him, I'm sure it will put his mind at ease - and there's another thing that I told hubbies kids - No one knows whether you have or haven't lost your virginity unless you tell them - so if you don't tell them either way then the pressure will be less, They understood what I meant by it.