Anyones OH's mother or mother in law annoying them?

[Loulabele]

Well we went for dinner yesterday and as i don't have a bump visible at this stage - she said to me:

Her - Well how are you?
Me - Absolutely brilliant thanks
Her - Don't be wearing your belt too tight -
Me - Its elasticated and its not tight
Her - I knew this girl who wasn't married and was pregnant (this is my situation too although we are engaged and this wasn't a mistake) and she was ashamed and was trying to hide her pregnancy and was wearing belts too and ended up stunting the growth of her baby -
Me - I'm not ashamed and I'm not hiding my bump - my belt isn't tight either

Plus the day before that - she said you'll have to stop wearing high heels now - i said not at all - meanwhile thinking into myself - if i do want to i will decide myself.


I know she doesn't mean any harm and is just a wee oldish lady set in her ways - but back off lady and let me be - maybe she wasn't pushing judgement and perhaps i was paranoid and thinking she was sayin i was doin the same - but all the same it didn't feel very nice -
OH said last nite what's wrong sweetie you've been awful quiet all evenin - so i told him and he said pay no attention to my ma - you know what she's like ! ! !

 

[ejjie]

My mother keeps drivveling on about belts too. The last one she was on about was a hipster belt it wasn't even tight!

 

[DaisieBee]

I know what you mean, everytime I say anything, my MIL starts talking about when she was pregnant. I know its to try and relate to me etc, but its as if I get one sentence about my pregnancy, and then she will talk for an hour about herself and what happened to her. That makes me sound really ungrateful for her advice, and thats not how it is, but I do end up feeling I might as well say nothing...

 

[angelcake89]

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[Shinymac]

Don't get me started on the MIL! Haha! She means well, but I've already gone off on one on a rant about this in another thread, so I'll try to silence it for now.
Oh stuff it..... where else do we all get to moan together...
One of my girls has been complaining of back-ache lately though, which is worrying, and even that's been blamed on the upcoming new arrival upsetting her! Yes, it will be strange for my girls, but they are almost more excited about it than I am, and are constantly talking to, stroking and kissing my bump!

My MIL also goes on about her pregnancy - I had a sickness bug a few weeks ago, and she said that because during her pregnancy the movements in her tummy made her feel sick, that that must have been what was wrong with me (it wasn't).

And she always goes on about how she's glad I'm having a chance to have a singleton baby so I can actually enjoy it this time. I enjoyed having twins, I love them to death, so what is she trying to say by that? I think she thinks I was more stressed than I actually was. I love being a mummy!

My OH just simply drives me mad all the time. I now work full time, same as him, and I'm pregnant, and yet I still feel like I'm doing everything, yet he feels I'm not doing enough. Arrghh - you just can't win sometimes!

 

[krissie23]

Sorry I had to sneak back in from Tri 3 (missing you lot already )

My MIL is the thing from nightmares!!! Believe me, she is the most nosy, interfering person you could ever possibly meet and has to comment and have an opinion on absolutely everything...woe betide if anyone dares to disagree with her!

So far she has told me when to have my hospital bag packed ('make sure you do it by 35 weeks coz you might go into labour early and you're so dopey you'll probably turn up at the hospital with nothing')... how to feed my baby when it's born - I want to breastfeed but for some ridiculous reason she thinks breastfeeding is disgusting and the baby won't be getting enough milk... to stop buying clothes for the baby as I can have all the hand-me-downs from her two daughter's children (I would like my kid to have something new to wear)... oh and the one that tops the list is her constantly asking whether my Mum is going to have time off work and stay once the baby is born as 'if she isn't, then make sure you put up the sofa bed for me as I'll be staying'. (Her exact words!) I've only just waved her off after she stayed here for two long weeks.. and she only lives five minutes away!

So I can completely empathise with you, why do some MIL's have to be so blinkin' annoying?! If she starts with anymore comments, just do what I do - smile and nod and let it go in one ear, and out the other! I find this annoys her more as most of the comments she makes I think are said to try and draw me into an arguement, so by not responding it just winds her up!

 

[Shinymac]

Sorry I had to sneak back in from Tri 3 (missing you lot already )

My MIL is the thing from nightmares!!! Believe me, she is the most nosy, interfering person you could ever possibly meet and has to comment and have an opinion on absolutely everything...woe betide if anyone dares to disagree with her!

So far she has told me when to have my hospital bag packed ('make sure you do it by 35 weeks coz you might go into labour early and you're so dopey you'll probably turn up at the hospital with nothing')... how to feed my baby when it's born - I want to breastfeed but for some ridiculous reason she thinks breastfeeding is disgusting and the baby won't be getting enough milk... to stop buying clothes for the baby as I can have all the hand-me-downs from her two daughter's children (I would like my kid to have something new to wear)... oh and the one that tops the list is her constantly asking whether my Mum is going to have time off work and stay once the baby is born as 'if she isn't, then make sure you put up the sofa bed for me as I'll be staying'. (Her exact words!) I've only just waved her off after she stayed here for two long weeks.. and she only lives five minutes away!

So I can completely empathise with you, why do some MIL's have to be so blinkin' annoying?! If she starts with anymore comments, just do what I do - smile and nod and let it go in one ear, and out the other! I find this annoys her more as most of the comments she makes I think are said to try and draw me into an arguement, so by not responding it just winds her up!

I'll definitely be trying your tactics!
Your MIL sound just like mine - even with the breastfeeding thing! She couldn't stand the fact that I breastfed my girls last time around - she harped on and on at me to "get them on the bottle!"

 

[krissie23]

I'll definitely be trying your tactics!
Your MIL sound just like mine - even with the breastfeeding thing! She couldn't stand the fact that I breastfed my girls last time around - she harped on and on at me to "get them on the bottle!"

Argghhhh doesn't it just make you mad?!
That's exactly how mine was too - I breastfed last time and my MIL hated it! It was horrible, she tried to make me feel bad for doing it by constantly saying that my Daughter looked underweight and she didn't think she was getting enough milk! The first time she came to visit which was a day after I had come home for hospital, she actually turned up with a pack of bottles and a carton of formula milk and asked if she could 'feed the baby'! Oh and suprise suprise, she told me the other day she'd bought me a present, I asked what it was... a steriliser! I told her she'd better hope someone else she knows has a baby soon as I won't be using it!

 

[Anna23]

me and my mil have had our issues in the past and she often says stuff simalar BUT i just ignore it cas i know i'll do what i want when we had baby and tho prengancy i mean i have done this 2 times before i am very stubborn and if told to do something i often do the oppsisit out of spite unless i feel i want to do it my parents hate it about me

 

[Loulabele]

Well i'm glad to hear that there are other nut cases out there too - it just must be their nature though - they just like to think they know it all cause they've been there and done that - well i'll just be doin what i like anyhow regardless - think i'll give it a wee break until i visit again

Thanks ladies for the replies - has made me much better now ! ! !

 

[maridunn]

its listening to you ladies that makes me almost glad my mother in law hates me and never wants to meet me or our child, her grandchild!

 

[Mama 2 Be]

Hey I'm ALWAYS up for a good MIL slating session!

As you are aware my MIL tried to get me smoking again (whilst pregnant! ) She's also told me I need to watch when I go shopping as someone could push their trolley into me and 'cause you to miscarry'. She's told me I'm going back to work once I've had the baby and she will look after it - AINT NEVER GONNA HAPPEN!

She's done her very best to split me and Hubby up shortly before our wedding last year (it didn't work - she just wasn't getting enough attention from anyone at the time) we'd only been together 7 years so she thought it was rushed!.

She caused a massive row just before Xmas and fell out with everyone but me and hubby but didn't want to see us or anyone else (She Greta Garboed it 'I vont to be alone'!!) then told the part of the family that was talking to her that we all had abandoned her at Christmas time and what a nasty family she had!

I can't be done anymore, I won't be tolerating that sort of behaviour from my child so to accept it from a 'grown woman' isn't happening. Like you say, alot of the time it's done to provoke a reaction and I agree, smile and nod to her face then come on here and rant to your hearts content - there will always be someone who will rant with you!

 

[prunella1]

Mine isn't horrible, just tries to be nice and ends up being incredibly overbearing.

She has already said ' you don't want to know the baby's sex' - just like that! - to which DH calmly replied, 'actually we've discussed it and we do.'

When I said we would go a cheap family holiday just before I go back to work (I'm a teacher so can't usually get a cheapo one) she said they'd come and look after the baby so we can have fun without it. As if!!!!

And when I complained about feeling dizzy (I have v low blood pressure) she told me that her daughter, my SIL is also feeling like that. To which is responded, poss a bit too loudly - But is SHE pregnant?'

She just winds me up!!! Grrrr.

 

[Becc]

OH's are very good at being all casual about it and just saying "That's just how she is, take no notice" and leaving us feeling like screaming that it's their mother can't they DO SOMETHING!!!!

I can never work out if MiL's comments are harmless and not meaning to come across badly or whether part of her is bitter that I've 'got her son' for some reason...

 

[SoonToBeMrs]

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