Moral dilemma - please help?

[tots hope]

I don't want to go into too much detail by i really need some advice.

I kow a girl who is really struggling with her kids. They have recently been made homeless and are living in a one bed B&B (5 children, mum and dad).

Basically i am really worry about the children. They are between 7 months and 7 years old. The other day i was spending time with them and changed the babies bottom and she had blisters on her bottom. It certainly wasn't nappy rash it was weeping blisters. Also all the children really smelt (i bathed them in the end as i felt really sick due to the smell) and the oldest kids said they hadn't eaten for 2 days. When the kids say something i completely believe them as i do't think they understand about how to lie - if that makes sence?

What would you do - do you think she may just be really stressed due to the current situation or do you think this should be considered as neglect?

 

[Babylicious]

Thats neglect and they do need reporting. Poor kids that makes me so sad

 

[jenna]

no matter what shes going through she should still take care of the children, if it was bad enough that you considerd reporting it then i think you should. Even if she cant cope and shes trying her best, a bit of help might be just what she needs.

 

[frangelle]

I'd have to have it out with her first, and then report her...

 

[Happybunny]

I would report them, these are vulnerable children and you have a duty to make sure their situation is brought to the authorities.
Social workers are not evil people, they will have every sympathy with your friend and do everything they can to support her, they do not want to take her children away from her.
You don't have to tell your friend it was you, social services wont tell her either.

Our family had a similar situation a few years ago when a close relative of ours couldn't cope with her four children. They were starving and neglected. We quietly made a report and then they were given a social worker who came to their home daily to make sure things got on track.

You really must do this for those poor children and your friend

 

[ella]

I agree, there is support and help she can be offered which might be just what she needs, if she just isnt coping. If she is neglecting them it is even more important to report it.

 

[NIE]

There is obviously something not right. I would have to report them to social services. There seems to be a strong case of physical neglect going on and it would be in the children's and the parents best interest to get some help.

Everything will be kept confidential so don't worry about any kind of come back. Let socail work do there job in deciding wether these kids are at risk. xxx

 

[HappyAlice]

I'd report them. Social Services aren't a negative thing, it can be a good way to get some help

 

[Misslarue]

Report them. Children should not be without basic needs such as food. The parents are obviously going through a very hard time. Don't just report them, but try and be there for them as much as you can with practical and emotional help. They obviously need a friend

 

[Becksss]

the circumstances show they probably telling the truth but dont be fooled... Children knows how to lie lol
My niece is 5 and told me shes not allowed to have any dinner anymore lol which i know is lies lol and she lies about things say if she gets a bruise she'll say some boys at school hit her with a stick when we know how the bruise happened anyway

but yeah report them!!

 

[katyk]

It sounds like no doubt she is very stressed. Give her a fortnight, maybe you could try giving her a bit of help if she will have it.

If the kids still don't look right in a few weeks, ring the social with an anonymous tip off.

Probably she has a health visitor for her youngest too, who will spot if things aren't quite right.

 

[x-kirsty-x]

I would report them, I couldn't keep it to myself knowing that children were suffering.

Dont feel guilty about it either, it'll be best for them all in the long run

 

[Manda&Thomas]

i wouldnt report her tbh talk to her maybe the kids are telling porkies my nephew who's nearly 5 quite often tells lie's.
socail services cant be complete bumholes my mates mum had 5 kids they were all fed 3 meals a day and kept clean but because the house was a slight mess and her mum had lots of trouble with blokes social got called in and they tried talking the kids from her many times. they had to go to foster care twice a week (respite care) it broke her mums heart my friends mum still has them on her back once a year even after 15 odd years.
im not saying sometime they dont do good stuff but please talk to the childrens mum first.
manda xx

 

[Sarah&Braydon]

i think id have to report her hun

 

[-Betty-]

I think you should report them hun. asap.

 

[foxymum]

It sounds like no doubt she is very stressed. Give her a fortnight, maybe you could try giving her a bit of help if she will have it.

If the kids still don't look right in a few weeks, ring the social with an anonymous tip off.

Probably she has a health visitor for her youngest too, who will spot if things aren't quite right.

no i wouldn't leave it any longer, a few weeks to a child is a long time.
also the youngest having a health visitor doesn't mean much, Louie is 11 months & the health visitor hasn't been in touch with us since he was 6 months old, so this baby could go without being checked on.

please report her, but stay close & help her if possible & be there for these poor kids.

also blisters on the babies bits can't lie.

 

[katyk]

ask her if she's having probs. Maybe someone asking her and chatting to her about it somehow will encourage her to get help/ sort herself out.

 

[kimmumof2]

you need to contact social services. they are there to help and support families also and this family sounds like it needs alot of support to me. they will support her with housing, money and also parenting skills to make sure the neglect is not being done on purpose.

depsite the bad press social services get, it is situations like this that they need alerting to before it is too late and something happens to one of the children.

xxxx

 

[Princess_Puddles]

I'd confront her about it first, let her know you're there for her if she needs you. It may sound cruel but the children may be telling porkies & I know for a fact when I was a baby I had such bad nappy rash (from teething) my bum was like one big blister weeping everywhere & my Mum wasn't neglecting me so it could be nappy rash

 

[kellie80]

I'd say report them! You just can't take that chance and kids that age can't do it for themselves.