babynumbertwo
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moan from a health visitor!
- Thread starter babynumbertwo
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babynumbertwo said:
Hello
I am a ranty one! Unfortunately I can't take your advice and see another HV because mine works on her own and covers ALL of our isolated rural villages - hence why I've had one visit in 4 months despite severe PND and Connie having health problems
She is a lovely lady my HV and really caring but she just doesn't have the capacity to do what needs to be done. I know that's not her fault but it does make me angry that I haven't perhaps had the support I should have had.
Anyway WELCOME to this section and I'm sure we'll all value your experience and advice
Jen & Her Men
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Hiya!
In also one of those mummies who have had bad experience with my health visitor and like Debecca, I dont have a choice of professional as she is the only one who services my area. Again, she is a lovely individual but when it comes to having problems or cases where the baby is outside the norm i have found her frustratingly lacking because her answers are very "textbook" and not all babies are textbook. As you said...
thats fantastic if the research applies to the individual child but often I find that in our case it doesnt. James was a very big baby born and a lot of the "rules" and research in terms of feeding and weaning etc did not apply to him and I sought help from the HV who was only able to give me textbook answers for babies who were within the norm which didnt help me because if James was "normal" in the feeding sense, I wouldnt have been seeking help anyway! lol.
Anyways, Im not having a go at you or HV's in their entirity, Im sure there are some darn good ones out there and no doubt you are one of them. Its just that my experiences of them hasnt been fantastic and this forum is a place where we can come and have a good moan about stuff like that and also to seek advice from mummies who have had similar experiences and can help out where maybe HV's cant. Maybe thats why it seems we are always moaning about them because we tend to only talk about the problems that we havent been able to get help with from HV's and other professionals and mention the fact that we havent been able to get that help so it seems a lot worse than it actually is?
Anyways, welcome to the forum and I hope it doesnt put you off being on here cos it is a really supportive place for fellow mummies!!
In also one of those mummies who have had bad experience with my health visitor and like Debecca, I dont have a choice of professional as she is the only one who services my area. Again, she is a lovely individual but when it comes to having problems or cases where the baby is outside the norm i have found her frustratingly lacking because her answers are very "textbook" and not all babies are textbook. As you said...
babynumbertwo said:
thats fantastic if the research applies to the individual child but often I find that in our case it doesnt. James was a very big baby born and a lot of the "rules" and research in terms of feeding and weaning etc did not apply to him and I sought help from the HV who was only able to give me textbook answers for babies who were within the norm which didnt help me because if James was "normal" in the feeding sense, I wouldnt have been seeking help anyway! lol.
Anyways, Im not having a go at you or HV's in their entirity, Im sure there are some darn good ones out there and no doubt you are one of them. Its just that my experiences of them hasnt been fantastic and this forum is a place where we can come and have a good moan about stuff like that and also to seek advice from mummies who have had similar experiences and can help out where maybe HV's cant. Maybe thats why it seems we are always moaning about them because we tend to only talk about the problems that we havent been able to get help with from HV's and other professionals and mention the fact that we havent been able to get that help so it seems a lot worse than it actually is?
Anyways, welcome to the forum and I hope it doesnt put you off being on here cos it is a really supportive place for fellow mummies!!
Hiya & welcome!
This is so true. I really liked "my" health visitor, she was really laid back and happy for me to do what I felt was right with baby and encouraged me to talk to her about it and use her as a sounding board. Unfortunately after she stopped coming to my house I found the clinics a waste of time because there was no guarantee I'd see "my" HV. The other lady was rubbish and I felt she spouted the textbook whenever I mentioned anything rather than taking on board my situation and supporting me, she was very negative.
Also I felt this other HV was overly focused on Lucy's weight and commented when she saw I hadn't had her weighed much. I told her I didn't need to get her weighed to know she was healthy and growing as I can tell from how contented she is etc. but she didn't think much of that.
In the end I didn't bother going after Lucy was 5 months old because it was a trek to get there just to have this negative attitude I felt it was pointless.
But you're right, every profession has good and bad, it's just unfortunate that you tend to hear when someone's had a bad experience more than if they've had a good one.
Jen&James said:
This is so true. I really liked "my" health visitor, she was really laid back and happy for me to do what I felt was right with baby and encouraged me to talk to her about it and use her as a sounding board. Unfortunately after she stopped coming to my house I found the clinics a waste of time because there was no guarantee I'd see "my" HV. The other lady was rubbish and I felt she spouted the textbook whenever I mentioned anything rather than taking on board my situation and supporting me, she was very negative.
Also I felt this other HV was overly focused on Lucy's weight and commented when she saw I hadn't had her weighed much. I told her I didn't need to get her weighed to know she was healthy and growing as I can tell from how contented she is etc. but she didn't think much of that.
In the end I didn't bother going after Lucy was 5 months old because it was a trek to get there just to have this negative attitude I felt it was pointless.
But you're right, every profession has good and bad, it's just unfortunate that you tend to hear when someone's had a bad experience more than if they've had a good one.
I don't think anyone has ever said don't go to your HV for advice. Its just some of the shocking advice some people have been given that makes people angry, especially breast feeding advice which usually goes along the lines of "give them a top up of formula" or "try weaing them early". Its just frustrating.
babynumbertwo
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muppetmummy
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My main health visitor is lovely and has been very supportive about my pnd, she's also non judgemental and very open minded about things like babywearing and co-sleeping. I feel very comfortable opening up to her and telling her how I'm feling with the pnd. The hv who runs the baby massage classes and postnatal group is also really friendly and approachable.
There is one relief one who appears when people are off and she is a horror. She's always very negative and makes me feel rubbish and lose confidence in my abilities, it's not so much what she says but how she says it. She comes across as really cold and uncaring, I haven't warmed to her at all.
The HV's I saw when my oldest son was a baby were useless too, so much so I stopped going to clinic after 6 months as I felt I got nothing out of seeing them.
Its like any profession, there are good and bad hv's but the bad ones stick in your mind more.
There is one relief one who appears when people are off and she is a horror. She's always very negative and makes me feel rubbish and lose confidence in my abilities, it's not so much what she says but how she says it. She comes across as really cold and uncaring, I haven't warmed to her at all.
The HV's I saw when my oldest son was a baby were useless too, so much so I stopped going to clinic after 6 months as I felt I got nothing out of seeing them.
Its like any profession, there are good and bad hv's but the bad ones stick in your mind more.
My old HV was lovely! it helped that we went down the baby led weening route and she had only just been through that herself (she started back to work after having a baby not long before i had alice!).
but she has moved to a different area and i now don't have a named HV. seems ive never been issued a new one (i did chase it a while back, but i don't see the point anymore, i don't feel like i need a named one).
Its the ones that seem negative and don't disagree with something because it isn't the norm that annoy me.
but she has moved to a different area and i now don't have a named HV. seems ive never been issued a new one (i did chase it a while back, but i don't see the point anymore, i don't feel like i need a named one).
Its the ones that seem negative and don't disagree with something because it isn't the norm that annoy me.
I think if people have questions i don't know the answer to i suggest them seeing their HV. But i never see mine and don't really know when i will or how i'd get in touch with her.
The nursery nurse i see does her best though.
The nursery nurse i see does her best though.
Tiggergirl
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I think people are more likely to mention their HV when they have had a bad experience, which is maybe why it might seem that people are negative about HVs.
FWIW I don't have a bad word to say about my HV, and indeed the midwives who looked after me after my c-section as well as the infection I picked up in hospital. It has just been doctors I've found to be fairly incompetent (GPs and consultants).
My HV gave me her mobile number since she isn't always on duty at the baby clinic. She has always supported any parenting decisions we've made, for example attempting to wait til 6 months to wean and try BLW. She's fairly well informed but also appreciates the need for different advice for different babies.
TBH I only realised how lucky I was when I had to ask another HV for advice when mine was on hols and it was carp advice.
FWIW I don't have a bad word to say about my HV, and indeed the midwives who looked after me after my c-section as well as the infection I picked up in hospital. It has just been doctors I've found to be fairly incompetent (GPs and consultants).
My HV gave me her mobile number since she isn't always on duty at the baby clinic. She has always supported any parenting decisions we've made, for example attempting to wait til 6 months to wean and try BLW. She's fairly well informed but also appreciates the need for different advice for different babies.
TBH I only realised how lucky I was when I had to ask another HV for advice when mine was on hols and it was carp advice.
I would never make a sweeping generalisation about all HVs but this is how good mine was..I saw her once, she asked me questions about my education and then said "i'm not judging you i know 15 year olds with babies and not a gcse to there name who are great" then she left i never saw her or heard from her since! Oh and she lost my red book and i had to get a new one!! Then i have read story after story on here of bad advice and nasty comments that have made girls feel like they are inadequate mums and its given me a bad opinion generally. I'm sure there are lots of HV's that are not like this that we don't hear about.
I have a problem with my health visitor - SHE DOESN'T TURN UP!! I have only seen her once to get the red book and give her our details and that was it. We have arranged for her to come numerous times and she was a no show as per usual. We cant even get her to give us a phone call for gods sake!
babynumbertwo
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Tangerinedream
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Hi
For the record I think my health visitor is great
For the record I think my health visitor is great
Jen & Her Men
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soverign said:
Yeah i have had a similar thing. I went to see my doc about suspected PND and he said he would get the HV to come see me..that was 3 weeks ago. I called again on friday to see what was happening. He said he has called her to ask her to contact me, and that he would call her again...still havent heard anything...
My first one went off sick for months, nobody told me they just said they'd get her to ring me 
My new one, well I'm immensely uncomfortable with her. I have PND since my lad was born, have since had a girl. She didnt ask me much as I was absolutely mad mad busy when she called doing bum changes and feeds. She firstly wrote the wrong clinic day in my red book, then wrote the date of visit as something like 30.5.05 when it was like the start of July She put the dot in the wrong place on the growth chart and wrote Mum tired but coping, didnt even ask, I wasn't tired and I wasnt coping very well which was obvious by me running round like a blue arsed fly duh!
She hasn't been round since despite me having PND as well as PTSD and having 2 kids under 18 months! I went to the clinic a few weeks back and said I was finding it really hard due to eefies behaviour, not seen or heard from her since.
I'm a touch OCD so to me she has completely ruined Molly's red book with her mistakes and errors, I know it sounds nothing but I'm really really funny about recording of information and accuracy.
There is this really nice HV who knows me and my kids, she has kids with the same age gap so really understands. I wanted to ask last time when I was at clinic if I could swap but then my HV popped up from behind the door (claiming she'd been trying to call me, yer right) Might take them tomorrow and hope shes not there!
PS Could I ask for a new red book? I know this sounds really funny but it really bothers me!
My new one, well I'm immensely uncomfortable with her. I have PND since my lad was born, have since had a girl. She didnt ask me much as I was absolutely mad mad busy when she called doing bum changes and feeds. She firstly wrote the wrong clinic day in my red book, then wrote the date of visit as something like 30.5.05 when it was like the start of July
She put the dot in the wrong place on the growth chart and wrote Mum tired but coping, didnt even ask, I wasn't tired and I wasnt coping very well which was obvious by me running round like a blue arsed fly duh! She hasn't been round since despite me having PND as well as PTSD and having 2 kids under 18 months! I went to the clinic a few weeks back and said I was finding it really hard due to eefies behaviour, not seen or heard from her since.
I'm a touch OCD so to me she has completely ruined Molly's red book with her mistakes and errors, I know it sounds nothing but I'm really really funny about recording of information and accuracy.
There is this really nice HV who knows me and my kids, she has kids with the same age gap so really understands. I wanted to ask last time when I was at clinic if I could swap but then my HV popped up from behind the door (claiming she'd been trying to call me, yer right) Might take them tomorrow and hope shes not there!
PS Could I ask for a new red book? I know this sounds really funny but it really bothers me!
Magic Monkey
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I go to a clinic and there is a nursery nurse and 2 HVs there (they rotate so there is a choice of 4/5 that may be there) I only have a problem with one of them, she always rushes me, never asks how we are, just weighs Ella and that is it. She is so vague too, she appears to have no opinion and no advice to give even when you ask for it.
The clinic that is closest to me isn't the one with my HVs as my GP surgery is considered to be in a different area (despite being in the same village as teh clinic I go to). So if I need to ring for advice I don't speak to anyone I know. Last time I rang it was beacuse ella was having really explosive, runny poos and had been having them 3-4 times a day since we had changed her formula 4 weeks earlier the HV I spoke to told me that she was probably clearing a backlog from when she was constipated 4 wks earlier!
Other than that I have found the other helpful if I have needed them (TBH now I trust my judgement and just go to have Ella weighed)
I forgot to say that the one at the clinic told me at 6 weeks to stop bringing ella to have her weighed, she only needed to be weighed every month or so (depsite the mad poos at the time and my worries about that and her weight)
The clinic that is closest to me isn't the one with my HVs as my GP surgery is considered to be in a different area (despite being in the same village as teh clinic I go to). So if I need to ring for advice I don't speak to anyone I know. Last time I rang it was beacuse ella was having really explosive, runny poos and had been having them 3-4 times a day since we had changed her formula 4 weeks earlier the HV I spoke to told me that she was probably clearing a backlog from when she was constipated 4 wks earlier!
Other than that I have found the other helpful if I have needed them (TBH now I trust my judgement and just go to have Ella weighed)
I forgot to say that the one at the clinic told me at 6 weeks to stop bringing ella to have her weighed, she only needed to be weighed every month or so (depsite the mad poos at the time and my worries about that and her weight)
