Missed miscarriage

Discussion in 'Coping with Miscarriage & Loss' started by gesic, Jan 25, 2016.

  1. gesic

    gesic Well-Known Member

    Joined:
    Sep 22, 2015
    Messages:
    131
    Likes Received:
    0
    I am numb with waves of emotion. It's been such a roller coaster of a few months and am not sure how/if I can get through the next bit. After a miscarriage in September a chemical pregnancy in October I fell pregnant again end of December. I loitered on the forum not wanting to participate incase it jinxed things but now I think I can't hold all this in anymore especially after this mornings news. I am 8 weeks pregnant but this mornings scan shows no heart beat, I still feel more pregnant than I did a week ago but the embryo may have stopped developing ip to 2 weeks earlier. I opted for medical management which is set for tomorrow as I just want some control over what happens but now I am scared the 3 ultrasound doctors could be wrong? I cannot wait for nature as because of my job I am really worried I end up mid carrying when am miles away from home with no hope of escape, tbf though I told them today and although I know it's causing others to fill in the deficit when they already have enough to do they are being really kind about it all. I was so low after the last miscarriage am scared I am going to be even lower as got hopes up so much as time went on. I don't even know if I can keep doing this, my age is the biggest factor and hate myself so much right now for leaving things too late. Donation or adoption is not an option and was also told today I am too old for ivf. Sorry to ramble but other than my bosses and my partner no one else knows 😓
     
  2. kaz1983

    kaz1983 Well-Known Member

    Joined:
    Feb 14, 2012
    Messages:
    2,243
    Likes Received:
    0
    So sorry youre going through this hun its awful the emotions you go through but apparently its all normal i had a mmc sept 2014 and still im haunted by anxieties not all the time but just wee things can set me off i had medical management as i santed to see it happening as strange as that sounds

    Rest plenty and dont rush the grieving process xx
     
  3. Emily0505

    Emily0505 Well-Known Member

    Joined:
    Jul 22, 2011
    Messages:
    11,361
    Likes Received:
    1
    Oh hun I'm so very sorry to hear this.

    I had a mmc in September last year and found out yesterday that I've had another one :-(

    I should have been 9 weeks but baby is measuring 8 weeks with no heartbeat.

    I hope everything goes smoothly for you tomorrow and I am so sorry for your loss.

    Look after yourself.

    XX
     
  4. gesic

    gesic Well-Known Member

    Joined:
    Sep 22, 2015
    Messages:
    131
    Likes Received:
    0
    Thanks for the words and really sorry to hear your own stories but grateful that you shared with me.
    Am I right to have doubts? Only this morning at the scan as soon as they told me I just wanted it to be over with but on reflection could they be wrong? I have hardly had any cramping for 3 days now (fair enough I have been off work which may have had a bearing), I feel more nauseas the last three days than I have over the last 2-3 weeks. As I mentioned earlier I had a miscarriage sep and a chemical in October.....might I have ovulated later than normal and am actually only 6 weeks rather than the 8 I originally thought?
    would that mean there is still a chance or perhaps I am clutching at straws, hoping I get a chance to clarify tomorrow before I go through it :(
    Thank you both again x
     
    #4 gesic, Jan 25, 2016
    Last edited: Jan 25, 2016
  5. Emily0505

    Emily0505 Well-Known Member

    Joined:
    Jul 22, 2011
    Messages:
    11,361
    Likes Received:
    1
    Definitely discuss all your concerns with them before anything happens hun.

    Miscarriage is just awful and nobody should have to go through it once let alone more than once.

    You need to make sure that you are as 'comfortable' as you can be with the decisions you have to make.

    Big hugs hun.

    XX
     
  6. purpleslurple

    purpleslurple Well-Known Member

    Joined:
    Jul 23, 2013
    Messages:
    416
    Likes Received:
    0
    I'm so sorry to hear your news, I know how devastating it is. I had a MMC in March 2012 - should've been 8 weeks but was measuring 6 and no heart beat. This was at a private clinic and they made me wait 2 weeks for a re-scan to make sure the dates weren't wrong. I then had to contact the NHS and they insisted on a further scan which meant by then I should've been 11 weeks but still measured 6. Based on my experience I'm surprised they aren't making you wait a couple of weeks for a re-scan to be completely sure.

    During this time my symptoms continued and got stronger as my body thought I was still pregnant. Make sure you look after yourself and your partner and take some time out xx
     
  7. Emily0505

    Emily0505 Well-Known Member

    Joined:
    Jul 22, 2011
    Messages:
    11,361
    Likes Received:
    1
    When I had my mmc in September, they scanned me but said that they would not take any action until a rescan 14 days later just in case I was wrong with my dates.

    This time, I'm a bit further on - baby is measuring 8 weeks but has no heartbeat. Perhaps things are done differently depending on the stage of pregnancy you're at?

    My mmc was diagnosed in a private clinic on Sunday and they are referring me to EPU. I'm going in tomorrow for a rescan as a mc has to be confirmed by two people. How we will proceed thereafter obviously I don't know.

    XX
     
  8. kaz1983

    kaz1983 Well-Known Member

    Joined:
    Feb 14, 2012
    Messages:
    2,243
    Likes Received:
    0
    I wasnt aware mc had to confirmed by two people mines was only confirmed by one xx
     
  9. Emily0505

    Emily0505 Well-Known Member

    Joined:
    Jul 22, 2011
    Messages:
    11,361
    Likes Received:
    1
    I just had a single sonographer in the room, nobody else.

    She said because she works alone, it would need to be confirmed by a second person.

    Were there 2 people in the room when you were scanned?

    XX
     
  10. kaz1983

    kaz1983 Well-Known Member

    Joined:
    Feb 14, 2012
    Messages:
    2,243
    Likes Received:
    0
    Yeh now you say that there was there always is its always a sonographer an either a midwife or junior doctor xx
     
  11. Clementine

    Clementine Well-Known Member

    Joined:
    Nov 15, 2013
    Messages:
    2,051
    Likes Received:
    0
    Hi Gesic, I am so sorry for your loss, in Ireland they normally recheck the day of the D&C & also a different person completes the scan .They normally only wait 7 days or 14 days if you haven't had a previous scan or the embryo is very small ( just in case you have your dates wrong) I am also an older TTC'er and have had 2 MMC's so know how painful it is, our consultant said we just need to get lucky with a healthy egg. I think I've run out of time but hopefully you're forever baby will come soon xxx
     
  12. jadeb

    jadeb Well-Known Member

    Joined:
    Jan 6, 2012
    Messages:
    1,360
    Likes Received:
    0
    So sorry for your loss :( I had a MMC a few weeks ago- I should have been 8+5 and baby was measuring 6+3 with no heartbeat. My days should have been exact as I feel through a frozen transfer. It's the most awful thing for anyone to go through :( I also chose medicinal management and had that the day after I was told. Mine was confirmed by 2 people in the room.

    There are plenty of support groups out there and on here aswel if you need someone to talk to.
    xxx
     
  13. gesic

    gesic Well-Known Member

    Joined:
    Sep 22, 2015
    Messages:
    131
    Likes Received:
    0
    Thanks for the replies, I spoke to a nurse on the department regarding my concerns and have decided to wait and get another scan in one weeks time. I am not holding out any false hope but know at least if I do it that way I will have no doubts. The nurse did say that the sonographers must have been pretty sure if they were happy to book me in the following day though. I just hope I hang on in there and don't miscarry beforehand as have told work I will return tomorrow and do not want to mess them around again after they have been so good x
     
  14. Emily0505

    Emily0505 Well-Known Member

    Joined:
    Jul 22, 2011
    Messages:
    11,361
    Likes Received:
    1
    You need to be completely satisfied with the course of action and if you were not happy to proceed then you've definitely done the right thing by waiting.

    My mmc was confirmed by a second and third person today and I am booked in for an ERPC tomorrow.

    I hope you are ok hun.

    XX
     
  15. gesic

    gesic Well-Known Member

    Joined:
    Sep 22, 2015
    Messages:
    131
    Likes Received:
    0
    I am so sorry Emily, life seems just so cruel at times (((hugs)))
    Will be thinking of you tomorrow, it wasn't meant to be ..... this time (although it doesn't make it any easier) hoping your ok x
     
  16. gesic

    gesic Well-Known Member

    Joined:
    Sep 22, 2015
    Messages:
    131
    Likes Received:
    0
    update..... after 2nd scan confirming no development I was eventually taken in at 9pm Monday for medical management. After 5 treatment 3 hours apart, no sleep, lots of cramping and hardly any bleeding I get discharged with the words "oh its quite common for it not to work"!
    I wish I had known this previously, I wanted this to be over with quickly and was led to believe it would be. I am desperately trying to keep this from family and friends which is becoming so hard the longer it goes on and my employers are suffering as I am currently unreliable due to trips back and forth to the EPU which is 20 miles in the op direction.
    Sorry just needing to vent, also may provide someone else more information should they have the misfortune to consider medical management.
    You know the ironic thing about all this is for the last 4-5 weeks I have been terrified of miscarrying again, what waste of energy and emotion :(
     
  17. kaz1983

    kaz1983 Well-Known Member

    Joined:
    Feb 14, 2012
    Messages:
    2,243
    Likes Received:
    0
    So sorry hun its awful going thru this i had medical management and had the pessaries for 5hrs and they didnt work so then had oral tablets which i was told wud work within 3hrs an hour after i had the tablets i was given a codeine tablet for pain rrlief an it seemed to set things off but i was likd u i just wanted it over with i was kept in as they werent syre id passed everything an sed i mite nd to go to theatre which i refused point blank so in my words an this was my way of coping was to say that the doctors excavated the rest on the ward

    Take z lot of rest an time for urself xx
     
  18. Emily0505

    Emily0505 Well-Known Member

    Joined:
    Jul 22, 2011
    Messages:
    11,361
    Likes Received:
    1
    Oh hun I'm so sorry you've gone through this.

    So what is happening now? Are you waiting to mc naturally or having surgical intervention?

    I had an erpc last week and although I felt ill after the anaesthetic, a week later and all my symptoms have gone and things are getting back to normal.

    Perhaps you should consider telling your friends and family about this hun. They can provide you with support to get through this difficult time.

    I hope you're ok hun.

    XX
     

Share This Page

  1. This site uses cookies to help personalise content, tailor your experience and to keep you logged in if you register.
    By continuing to use this site, you are consenting to our use of cookies.
    Dismiss Notice