mini rant sorry

Discussion in 'Relationships' started by E44girl, Feb 29, 2016.

  1. E44girl

    E44girl Member

    Feb 29, 2016
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    I was with my partner 5 years. We split mid last month after I found out he has been sleeping around. He wanted kids from start of our relationship, I was the one that held off. Anyway I found out he was cheating and even having relationships while still with me! Not only that but asking girls he just met to have children with him.
    He's adding single mother on Facebook and putting on his charm, I had my BFP today.. He doesn't want to know because he's now dating a young girl with 2 kids.
    He doesn't want to speak to me, he said he wanted to go scans and appointments now as blocked me on everything because his new girl kicks off at me.
    So I'm left here feeling totally deflated in tears and I don't know what to do.
    I always said I would give him one chance to be a dad, not with me! Would this be the chance? Or should I 3rd party let him know when scan dates are?
    Worst part is yesterday he was asking for me back, and only Valentine's day he was speaking to me about picking out "that" ring
    Am I wrong trying to contact him to be a father :(
  2. russellmuscle

    russellmuscle Well-Known Member

    Feb 13, 2012
    Likes Received:

    I dont think your in the wrong for contacting him to be a father, he is afterall?

    On the other hand you cant force it either unfortunately. I think you need to have a think and plan ahead on having this baby on your own. Do you have family/support.

    I think you should still make the effort. Text him and keep him informed of baby nd dates but nothing else and save them. If he wants to attend he has the option, that way when baby comes he cant dispute any effort not made if you have made it aware. Telling through friends can always be twisted so id keep it between you two if poss.

    When baby comes offer him access and go from there, if you want have an order put in place so tht again if he doesnt bother to come its on record. The reason I say all this is because Ive seen it happen loads to women who have offered access time and time again get branded bad mothers for "not letting dads see kids" when actually they cant be arsed. Dont be afraid to set terms ie, dont feel pressured to just hand baby over if and when he wants, set boundaries.

    Personally any man thats willing to commit to another girl so soon planning babies I wouldnt have him back. I would hate to find out my bf had fathered another child whilst in a relationship with me which by the looks of things is where it was leading.

    He sounds like an ass, and youll soon realize all you need is friends, family nd your little baby. Let the little boy play happy families elsewhere and do the best job you can raising your family.

    Good luck.

  3. Loula

    Loula Well-Known Member

    Oct 8, 2011
    Likes Received:
    I had all this with dd dad.
    I told him and said he wanted to be involved. Didn't turn up to the 12 week scan, then blocked me in every was possible near my 20 week scan. When Bear was born I wrote him a letter and I have kept a copy.
    I've seen him once when Bear was 6 weeks old and that's it. He's gone on to have a further child.weve done so much better on our own x

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