I think I need to vent somewhat if that's okay.
The situation between myself and my mother in law, is so bad that my husband has told her never call our landline, only his mobile phone .. except, she thinks she can do whatever she wants, whenever she wants.
Despite her knowing the situation, she called our house three times last week, making demands on my husband. She treats him like her personal scivvy and its driving a wedge between us, not to mention that its a big part of my anxiety and stress. I freeze when the phone rings now, for fear that its her. Shes actually demanded that she be given permission to call when she wants, despite knowing why she isn't meant to and despite my feelings.
Ive never been good enough for her it seems (shes very middle class and even her sons call her a snob and have nothing good to say about her). She treated me like dirt since we met really and for seven long years, never once did I say a word back, until the day it erupted at Christmas in 2003. I spoke to her once after that, when she apparently came with the FIL to apologise, but ended up being absolutely horrible to me in my own home. Some of the nicer things she said, were that I never did her washing up for her. I was told I sat in the wrong seat in the house (I wasnt allowed to sit on the sofa or armchair, I was meant to sit on the wooden chair in the corner) and that I was ungrateful. Apparently there were lots of other things that I had done wrong that they wouldnt go in to .. nice apology, eh?
I even put up with her calling me She or Her or a name entirely different to my own. I had doors shut in my face, I was pushed out of the house when people she knew visited and she refused to acknowledge me in public when people she knew were close by.
One thing that still bothers me to this day is that after we had eloped to marry in Cornwall, because we knew she would cause trouble, we had a local church blessing and she even manegd to spoil that. She didn't let the FIL take us to the church as arranged (we had to beg a lift with a guest for goodness sake). She told my mother to get out of the room where the buffet was - I had made all on my own and my mother was unwrapping things for me. She told my brother and sister to leave the food alone, told me to get away from it too so her and all the friends she had invited without our permission, could get first pickings
She complained all the way through the cutting of the cake and the speeches, told us we couldn't give the band champagne, as she had paid for it, insulted my wedding dress and then promptly left the reception at 2.30pm, when the reception it didnt wind up until 11pm.
This is why we don't talk and why we are kept apart and precisiely why my husbnad won't let her call here but she still does because she thinks she has never done a single thing wrong in all the time I have known her .. it's all my fault apparently, I'm the one causing problems
Now we don't think we're being unreasonable, but what do you think?
The situation between myself and my mother in law, is so bad that my husband has told her never call our landline, only his mobile phone .. except, she thinks she can do whatever she wants, whenever she wants.
Despite her knowing the situation, she called our house three times last week, making demands on my husband. She treats him like her personal scivvy and its driving a wedge between us, not to mention that its a big part of my anxiety and stress. I freeze when the phone rings now, for fear that its her. Shes actually demanded that she be given permission to call when she wants, despite knowing why she isn't meant to and despite my feelings.
Ive never been good enough for her it seems (shes very middle class and even her sons call her a snob and have nothing good to say about her). She treated me like dirt since we met really and for seven long years, never once did I say a word back, until the day it erupted at Christmas in 2003. I spoke to her once after that, when she apparently came with the FIL to apologise, but ended up being absolutely horrible to me in my own home. Some of the nicer things she said, were that I never did her washing up for her. I was told I sat in the wrong seat in the house (I wasnt allowed to sit on the sofa or armchair, I was meant to sit on the wooden chair in the corner) and that I was ungrateful. Apparently there were lots of other things that I had done wrong that they wouldnt go in to .. nice apology, eh?
I even put up with her calling me She or Her or a name entirely different to my own. I had doors shut in my face, I was pushed out of the house when people she knew visited and she refused to acknowledge me in public when people she knew were close by.
One thing that still bothers me to this day is that after we had eloped to marry in Cornwall, because we knew she would cause trouble, we had a local church blessing and she even manegd to spoil that. She didn't let the FIL take us to the church as arranged (we had to beg a lift with a guest for goodness sake). She told my mother to get out of the room where the buffet was - I had made all on my own and my mother was unwrapping things for me. She told my brother and sister to leave the food alone, told me to get away from it too so her and all the friends she had invited without our permission, could get first pickings
She complained all the way through the cutting of the cake and the speeches, told us we couldn't give the band champagne, as she had paid for it, insulted my wedding dress and then promptly left the reception at 2.30pm, when the reception it didnt wind up until 11pm.This is why we don't talk and why we are kept apart and precisiely why my husbnad won't let her call here but she still does because she thinks she has never done a single thing wrong in all the time I have known her .. it's all my fault apparently, I'm the one causing problems
Now we don't think we're being unreasonable, but what do you think?
