May 2017 Mummies *NEW*

[lisey]

i know lisey - ive promised myself if he doesnt change then im not bringing a child up in that environment!

i never argue back i just take it all in but its not fair and it hurts, my child wont be brought up around that xxx

Of course it does. You are calmer than I am not to argue back. Maybe you need to stand up to him. I wonder if telling him you want some time apart because of the way he is acting will make him realise what he has? Not splitting up, just time apart.
I do hope it all works out for the best for you, you deserve to be treated well, esp when you are pregnant xx

 

[Leighwiltshire]

hes very stubborn he will just walk away i think. but only time will tell.

he has a lot of issues, he lost his mam, dad and 1 day old son within 6 months and he has never had any help for it i think that is why he drinks, but being a man he wont seek the help he needs

 

[Mayday17]

Sorry to hear that you and oh are going your separate ways! You will know what's best for yourself! my oh can be a real pain with a drink in him but I don't keep my mouth shut, usually ends up a bigger arguement than was needed lol. We had a big fall out last week over drinking and so far he seems to have sorted it out!.... time will tell it's usually the football that sways him to a pub but only when his team are playing there rival so touch wood only happens a few times a year although other things can start the drinking off too! Iv had a major fail with my ticker if you look down!! Hahaha not sure what iv done wrong! Xx

 

[lisey]

hes very stubborn he will just walk away i think. but only time will tell.

he has a lot of issues, he lost his mam, dad and 1 day old son within 6 months and he has never had any help for it i think that is why he drinks, but being a man he wont seek the help he needs

My ex was the same and he would leave and not call etc, I would give in and call him wanting to sort it out. He loved it as he had so much control over the situation. Once I had enough, I wouldn't call him or bother and he would come running but it was too late.
My ex lost his Dad very young too and then his Mum (that was once we had split though) and I think it is partly why he drinks, he is still the same but he drank alot before any of that happened and his behaviour when he drinks has always been an issue. I didn't see it early enough though, he managed to hide that from me for a while.

Counselling prob would help him but from what you say about him, there is no way he will access that? xx

 

[Leighwiltshire]

i keep trying i mentioned it to him last night and he started drinking coffee in the house. only time will tell but i hope he does change, i dont want to be a single parent but i will if i have to xxx

 

[lisey]

Hopefully he will realise and get his priorities straight. It may take time but if he does then it will all be worth it xx

 

[nikkix86]

Leigh your oh seems a lot like mine. I've tried and tried but I just can't take it anymore. he wants me to move away and I said no way lol I'd only regret it

 

[Leighwiltshire]

trust me you would regret it! i do now!

us girls will only take so much till we snap and im getting very close to the breaking point! xx

 

[nikkix86]

that's the main reason we broke up because he wants to be near his friends and family and I want to stay here

 

[Leighwiltshire]

More important for you to be comfortable ive learnt that, im an hours drive from my friends and family and its killing me now after 2 and a half years x

 

[nikkix86]

it would also mean uprooting the boys school and I'm not doing that. he wants to move to Luton it's only 30 min's from here so it's not that much hassle to him

 

[nikkix86]

hope you get it sorted leigh

 

[Leighwiltshire]

You too Nikki! i know in my heart what i need to do xx

 

[snowbee]

I moved 140 miles to be with my oh. I have no friends or family nearby but I don't regret it at all. I've made a few new friends (I always thought I would have had a baby long before now and would meet people that way but it never happened) but to be fair my friends are spread over the country anyway so while I moved away from a few of them it wasn't a total shock. I'm really shy so the first couple of years were tricky but I'm generally happy here. I think the right partner also makes a huge difference. He isn't perfect by any means but he loves me and I feel lucky to have met him. I hope you guys can be happy, by whatever means you choose, as life is too short to be miserable and bullied.

Lisey not sure where in the country you are so I'll suggest a few places I've liked. Shropshire is pretty and underrated as a holiday destination, both Shrewsbury and Ludlow are worth visiting. Lincolnshire is the same, head for the Wolds rather than the fens and Lincoln also worth a visit. If you like period dramas lots are filmed in the streets of Stamford and nearby Burghley House is gorgeous. Rutland also pretty, can be expensive, nearby Leicestershire is a bit cheaper and Belvoir Castle is stunning. Have you ever been to Snowdonia and Anglesey? Might be a bit far but well worth a visit.

 

[nikkix86]

I think if the kids weren't settled I wouldn't of minded as much but I'm not uprooting them

 

[Eryinera]

Nikki, good for you. I bet you will feel great relief once you get used to it all. My sons dad was a bit like him and once I completely broke it off with him, I felt so free from stress and worry. A great weight lifted.

Ery, thanks for the advice on maternity. I don't think we have the option for shared maternity/paternity but it wouldn't work for us as OH earns well and he found out the other day that he only gets stat paternity pay (he is not happy!!). Stat matenrity won't be so different from my normal pay as I am only a part-timer etc.

Snowbee, I like country breaks but I really don't mind any suggestions of areas xx

Sorry about all the issues your all having when I'm home I'll read through and catch up properly

But EVERYONE is easy entitled to shared mat/pat leave it's the law x x you can do a few bulk weeks each

 

[lisey]

Lisey not sure where in the country you are so I'll suggest a few places I've liked. Shropshire is pretty and underrated as a holiday destination, both Shrewsbury and Ludlow are worth visiting. Lincolnshire is the same, head for the Wolds rather than the fens and Lincoln also worth a visit. If you like period dramas lots are filmed in the streets of Stamford and nearby Burghley House is gorgeous. Rutland also pretty, can be expensive, nearby Leicestershire is a bit cheaper and Belvoir Castle is stunning. Have you ever been to Snowdonia and Anglesey? Might be a bit far but well worth a visit.[/QUOTE]

Thanks for the suggestions, I am in London. I have actually looked at some of those areas. We have found a nice place in the cotswolds that we might go to. We really want to go to snowdonia but very far from us so we would want to do a week there. We are only going away for 2 nights this time. Maybe snowdonia can be babys first holiday xx

Nikki, good for you. I bet you will feel great relief once you get used to it all. My sons dad was a bit like him and once I completely broke it off with him, I felt so free from stress and worry. A great weight lifted.

Ery, thanks for the advice on maternity. I don't think we have the option for shared maternity/paternity but it wouldn't work for us as OH earns well and he found out the other day that he only gets stat paternity pay (he is not happy!!). Stat matenrity won't be so different from my normal pay as I am only a part-timer etc.

Snowbee, I like country breaks but I really don't mind any suggestions of areas xx

Sorry about all the issues your all having when I'm home I'll read through and catch up properly

But EVERYONE is easy entitled to shared mat/pat leave it's the law x x you can do a few bulk weeks each

Oh ok, it wouldn't work for us financially really if OH did more paternity leave, plus I am a little bit selfish and want to stay home myself xx

 

[Eryinera]

All caught up what an eventful day. with the right partner life should be easier not harder x I trust you girls know on your gut and heart what's best for you and your new lifes growing inside you. I had a very frank conversation with a friend today about all me worries and she's very practical she's just like sod it what can you do no point worrying. she's like be always thinks the worst then we can't be disappointed only made up when things go right. She's given me some pointers about foods to try too. her friend was addicted to the sea when selecting was pregnant her poor hubby had to go get buckets of sea water that she could spray in front of a fan lol

 

[Loubalouba]

Ery what time is your scan?

Ladies with the naughty OH's you are putting your babies first so you are already amazing mummies! Keep strong and don't take no shit you and bean deserve much more! I hope you both find the strength to stick to your guns and be happy in the future

Lisey snowdonia is beautiful!! We live not too far away and went to Barmouth in the camper van and loved it! But anywhere in snowdonia is gorgeous, esp this time of year, the trees are beautiful!

X

 

[Eryinera]

2.20pm such a long wait!!